


Skipping Stones

by FriendlyNeighbourhoodWriter



Series: Skipping Stones [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, The Walking Dead AU, oh you're into rk1k? we got you covered baby, there will be emotions, we. got it. all, you want some angst? EASY, you want zombies? we got em!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-09-01 12:57:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20258467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendlyNeighbourhoodWriter/pseuds/FriendlyNeighbourhoodWriter
Summary: It has been a year since the world has died. The virus that destroyed mankind and turned people into mindless flesh-eaters seems to have vanished from the air, but the damage has been done. The world as we know it has disappeared.Connor has been on his own ever since he lost Hank, and is distrusting and hateful towards the world.Markus has lost the last of his group merely weeks ago, and is desperate to find someone else.Will they be able to survive together as their friendship grows into something more, or will they fall victim to a world set on killing anything and everything?





	1. Radioactive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus  
This is it, the apocalypse
> 
> \- [ Radioactive ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktvTqknDobU), Imagine Dragons

Connor would guess it has been a year. A year since the first broadcasts. Since the first deaths. Since they fled Detroit. Since Hank…

A year since the world has gone to shit.

It has been a much shorter time since Connor last saw a town or any kind of building even. It has been maybe six hours since his food ran out, and yet it feels so much longer. He desperately needs to find a place to loot again, or he has to relive the week he spent with nothing but berries two months ago. 

Not fun.

There is nothing around him but trees, and the very likely chance that he has been walking in circles for the last hour does nothing to improve his daunting mindset. Connor is getting desperate. He has no food, half a bottle of water, six bullets and hasn’t slept in at least 30 hours. But he cannot stop walking. Because if he stopped there is no way he is gonna be able to start walking again.

So he walks. One foot before one other, gaze set upon what he hopes is south. 

He is getting thirsty. Has been for a while but it’s getting harder to ignore now. After debating his options for a moment Connor stops and unzips his backpack. The half full water bottle isn’t hard to fish out, there is nothing else in there. 

Connor leans against a tree and drinks two gulps of water, being careful to leave a quarter in the bottle. God, he wants to drink more. But he didn’t get this far by having no self-control. So he puts the bottle in the bag, hoists it onto his back, and continues walking. 

* * *

It’s quiet. Apart from the crunching leaves under his feet there is almost no sound in the woods. Connor got lost once, when he and Hank took Sumo to the woods for the first time. Connor had just turned eight, and had been unable to sit still during the one-hour car ride. Hank complained about it the entire time, but Connor could see the corner of his mouth turned upwards in a smile.

It had been a nice day, with lots of sun and almost no wind. Connor had been fascinated by the colors that were blooming all around. After they had walked for a while Hank decided to take a break on some benches they found. Connor, being filled with too much energy from his lunch, had wanted to keep playing with Sumo. But when he threw the ball for what felt like the hundred-time, Sumo decided he had enough and laid down next to his now sleeping owner, leaving Connor with no option but to fetch the ball himself.

He doesn’t remember how it happened, but one moment he was aware of Hank and Sumo behind him, and the next there was nothing but trees. He remembers how quiet it first seemed, and how his scream for Hank had echoed in all directions. 

It didn’t take long for Connor to notice all the sounds the woods made after he gave up on yelling. 

He remembers the rustle of plants all around him, the cracks of twigs coming from the trees and the leaves crunching in the bushes. Rationally Connor knew that it was just animals making those sounds, but his frightened eight-year-old brain could only think of monsters hiding behind the trees, waiting for him to drop his guard so they could grab him and drag the boy deep into the woods, where no one could find him.

He doesn’t remember how long he had been there, alone and scared, curled up against a tree with tears running down his face, but he does remember Hanks panicked voice standing out against all the other sounds. 

When he finally reunited with his dad, apologized about a thousand times, and Hank reassuring him it wasn’t his fault, they headed back towards the car. Connor remembers how it had felt when they headed back to the real world, with more and more people walking around them as they got closer to the parking lot.

It was easy to forget the sounds the wood made when there were noises around him again, but as Connor lay in his bed that night, the small child could remember exactly how the forest had come to life. Now, though, it was quiet. Connor could hear his own feet crushing the leaves, but there were no birds, no squirrels, no nothing. It didn’t made sense to him. There was no way the walkers could have gotten to such small animals, there was no reason for the animals to be gone. And yet they were, taking the last signs of life with them.

_And food_, Connor thinks grimly. Maybe he could’ve caught something if they were still here. His stomach clenches painfully, as it has been doing the past hour, and Connor stops to lean against a tree. __

_ __ _

He is so _hungry.___

_ __ _

He is hungry and there is nothing he can do about it. Somewhere he wonders how long it will take until he passes out. It wouldn’t be the first time he passed out from malnutrition, but back then there weren’t living dead people waiting to eat you alive.

So there’s that.

Connor closes his eyes and wonders how bad it would be if he just laid down on the soft leaves and sleep, and maybe not wake up again. He could see Hank again, and Sumo, and maybe even meet Cole…  
A snapping branch makes his eyes snap open again, and his hand goes to his hip, where a knife is attached. After scanning the endless trees for a while, he relaxes again. _Probably just a falling branch._ The sound did snap him back in reality. What was he doing? He can’t give up now, not after surviving for so long. If he gave up now, then Hank had died for nothing.__

_ __ _

__

Guilt washes over Connor as that thought crosses his mind, nothing unfamiliar. He has to keep going.

Connor looks around, but couldn’t tell you which direction he was going if his life depended on it. Which it kind of does. _Fuck.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

He steps away from the tree, and fishes a quarter from his pocket. “Heads, I go left, tails, I go right.” He whispers as he tosses the coin in the air.

Heads.

Left it is.

* * *

It feels like a miracle, seeing the top of a church through tall trees. Connor almost drops down to his knees when he spots it. It is not a large village by any means, probably around 60 houses. More than enough for a lone wanderer.

He searches the village systematically and efficient. Most houses are empty, which is to be expected. Connor has searched eight houses and took care of one walker trapped in a garage when he finally finds an unopened can of peas, in a bookshelf of all places. He spills a good part of it on the floor in his haste to open it, but finally manages to stuff his mouth full of cold peas. It tastes disgusting but Connor couldn’t care less.

After having eaten a couple bites he forces himself to slow down to avoid throwing it up again. Connor manages to finish the entire can without rushing it. Just as he puts it away again he hears a noise coming from the first floor. It is soft enough that he would have missed it before, but now that his focus in no longer on just his hurting stomach Connor is aware of surroundings once again. 

The sound comes again, as if something is tapping against a wall or a door, and Connor draws his gun. He does not want to risk having just his knife out and coming across a human. He had made that mistakes already, and it had almost cost him his life. Turns out the living are just as dangerous as the dead.

Connor silently climbs the stair and finds the sound coming from the room across the hall. He walks over to the closed door and takes a moment to listen. The unmistaken growl of walker comes from the other side and Connor puts away his gun so he can draw his knife. The growling becomes louder as he taps on the door, but doesn’t seem to come closer, which probably means the walker is stuck.

Connor carefully opens the door, knife ready to strike. As expected no walker comes towards him. Instead he finds a bedroom, with the walker trapped underneath a fallen bookcase. It is a woman, no older than thirty. What once had to be a beautiful face is now a picture of death and decoy as she growls up to Connor. He sighs and squads down next to her. In one swift move his brings his knife down to the side of her head. 

The growling stops. 

Connor scans the room and spots a water bottle a few feet from the top of the closet. The woman must have tried to get it and accidently tipped the bookcase over, causing it to become her death trap. He should feel sad, or mournful. Instead he feels nothing but relief to have found some water. When you are surrounded by death 24/7 you neglect to feel something for it, so it seems.

He puts the bottle in his bag and decides to finish the other one. When he drinks the final bits of water the brown eyed man looks out of the window.

A shadow moves across the street.

It happened so fast Connor isn’t certain there had been anything at all, but he has seen _something.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

Hasn’t he?

God, Connor is a mess. He desperately needs sleep, but it had been too exposed in the woods, and if his mind is tricking him into thinking there are things around him now, he doubt he can relax enough to sleep. Connor stares out of the window for a little longer before releasing a shaky breath.

_There is nothing there, stop being paranoid.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

He wishes he wasn’t alone. He wishes he had someone he could trust, someone to watch his back while he couldn’t. But Connor has learned the hard way that people cannot to be trusted. Not before, and definitely not now.

_You’re better off alone.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

Amanda’s voice is a strong as ever. He doesn’t remember much from her, but some words, words that are drilled into his mind, come back to him from time to time. Some of them are actually useful now. He never thought he’d be grateful to Amanda about something.

It only took the world ending for that to happen.

Connor throws one last look out of the window. Everything is quiet. _There is nothing there_. He exits the house, leaving a dead walker behind.__

_ __ _

* * *

It takes the rest of the day to scavenge the other houses. There are about ten left when the sun starts setting. The long shadows that grow longer every second don’t do a thing for Connor’s paranoia. He feels watched.

There is something, someone, out here. There _has_ to be.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

The untrained mind probably wouldn’t have more to go off than a feeling of being watched, but Connor didn’t study two years of criminology for nothing. Ever so often he sees something moving from the corner of his eye, but every time he turns there’s nothing there. So he starts to look for signs. A closed door that had been open before, crushed grass next to where he walked, a walker that had its attention turned elsewhere before it spotted Connor. 

He knows there is someone following him. But he doesn’t see the person once, and it drives him crazy. He is tempted to just scream ‘_What do you want?!_’, but Connor knows it won’t do any good. But it is so quiet. The air feels tense and the eerie feeling Connor’s had since he ate has not left him.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

And now it is also getting dark. This person might decide to jump him when he can’t see. Connor needs to do something.

The idea is simple. The person is following him, so he needs to disappear out of sight for a few moments. Next, he has to get behind the person, so they don’t know where he is anymore. After that it is only a matter of drawing his gun and confronting them. Shouldn’t be too difficult. In theory.

As Connor walks up to the next house he is slower than usual. He feels the door is unlocked but pretends he has some difficulty opening it. He is waiting for his stalker to make a move. It takes some time, but…

_There___

_ __ _

_ __ _

Movement from across the street. Connor knows that if he turns to look he will see nothing. This person is like a fucking ninja. He finally opens the door and makes sure to close it behind him.  
Okay, the person was across the street on his left, that means they can see the left side of the house. Connor rushes through the house without even looking at what’s in it. There are no doors on the right so he uncharismatic climbs out of a window and sneaks around to the backside of the house. Then, he waits.

It takes some time, and he doesn’t dare to peek from behind the wall, risking being spotted, but after what feels like 15 minutes he hears it. The door opens. Connor doesn’t hear footsteps entering the house, but he already knows this person can walk like a sneaking cat. 

Avoiding the windows he rushes back to the front of the house and waits on the porch for another moment. The sun is almost gone now. They are in the house, but Connor wants to know exactly where. He can’t make a mistake.

The stairs creak.

In a normal world he would’ve never heard it, but it’s so damn quiet here that he does anyway. That's the sign Connor has been waiting for. He draws his gun and checks the bullets. _Still six.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

The door is open again, so Connor doesn’t make a sound when he re-enters the house. His stress levels rise as he creeps up the stairs, and he takes a shaky breath to calm down. He needs to control himself now. He cannot fail. If he fucks this up he will die. 

The stalker is nowhere to be seen in the hall, so they have to be in one of the four rooms. One door is wide open and contains nothing but a toilet. The two doors across Connor are closed, but the one on his right is slightly ajar.

There is a 66% change he chooses wrong and loses his advantage. There is unfortunately nothing he can do to change those odds, except wait, but waiting would mean the stranger will walk into him. There is a high probability they will get jump scared and the situation will escalate. Connor cannot afford that. So he makes a decision. He did not hear a door open or close when he entered the house again, and looking back on the track record of this person, closing doors isn’t exactly their speciality.

Connor takes a deep breath and crosses the hall to the open the right door while raising his gun. It slides further open without a sound as he pushes it, and holy shit there is indeed a person inside the room. It is a man, he is looking out of the window with his back to Connor. He hasn’t heard him. 

Connor points his gun to the man’s head, takes a deep breath, and speaks up.

* * *

The small village is a welcome change from the endless trees Markus has seen for the past few days. Even though he would like to enter and see what hidden treasures lie within, he is seriously debating just moving on. Villages, towns, every type of former civilisation has the risk of being overrun. What may seem deserted streets at first, can behold a complete horde around the next corner. Sound can travel in weird directions and easily cover the growls of hundreds of the undead.

It’s a death trap.

Markus doesn’t need more supplies, his backpack is filled with food, water, bandages and medicine. Having all these items to his disposal should make life easier for him, instead it’s just a reminder that supplies meant for seven people last very long if only one is left alive.

On the other hand, why not? He has been walking on his own for weeks, and has done nothing but avoiding everything. Not necessary because of the danger, but more of the emotional baggage that it brings. But Markus is done. He is alone, tired, tired of being alone, and wants to do something. If that something risks his life than so be it. 

Just living is a risk these days, so it's not like it matters anyway.

The village seems deserted at first glance. It’s quiet, which is no big surprise, and Markus hates it. 

He _hates _it because he is used to be around people, even when it was just him and Carl, there was be plenty of sound. His dad and he could talk endlessly about everything and nothing. When Carl died the quiet hurt him the most. Markus remembers how the house sounded afterwards, how he couldn’t stand to enter it because of the memories, and how he couldn’t stay because of the silence. __

_ __ _

_ __ _

The chaos and panic of the virus spreading had been deafening.

And then, after things started to calm down, after nearly everyone who didn’t run had died, Markus had found people, and he had thought that maybe, just maybe, they would be fine.  
But now everyone is dead. Everyone except for him.

Pushing that thought aside, Markus starts walking down the deserted streets of the village, ignoring the first few houses. There are too many to loot by himself, so he starts searching houses at random. Thankfully, the village seems to be devoid of walkers, or humans, so some of the tension leaves Markus body the longer he spends in the ghost town.

* * *

It is the sixth house he searches that ruins it. As he enters the living room, everything seems normal at first, until he notices a doll on the floor. It is a mermaid Markus believes is called Ariel. It has red hair.

Like North.

He had been doing so well, moving on and on without breaking down, with pushing it all back, and then something as minor as a children’s doll breaks him.

It is ridiculous too, except for the hair, the doll looks nothing like North. It is all cute smiles, glitters and kind eyes. North had been so different. She was fierce and strong, unafraid and ready to take on the world. Everyone who didn’t know her would think she was cruel, uncaring, but Markus had known her beyond that. He’d seen her smile and heard her laugh, he knew her dreams and could see what she was before the world had crushed her.

There had been something there, between to two of them. Despite their different view on the world, North and him fit together. Markus doesn’t know what it was that drew him to her, but he knows it wasn’t just the fact that she was basically the last person on earth. Perhaps it had been their mutual respect, or her incredibly wit mind, or the way her face became so much softer when she smiled…  
They could’ve been something. If Markus had not held back. If he hadn’t waited. If he hadn’t been afraid that commitment would doom her life.

If, if, if.

In the end it wasn’t commitment that took North from his side. In the end, she was too reckless, too violent, too angry at the world. Markus couldn’t save her from that, and he hates himself for it. Maybe she would’ve listened if they were closer. Maybe she wouldn’t’ve taken out her rage on one too many walkers.

Taking a shaky breath, Markus slides down on the floor, doll clutched in one hand. He doesn’t want to cry, but can’t stop the tears as they fill his eyes and slide down his cheeks. The desperate feeling that has been lingering in his body for weeks starts to spread as he finally lets himself feel it. _He can’t do this._ He has lost _everyone._ He couldn’t save them.____

_ _ __ _ _

_ _ __ _ _

At one point, they had all looked at him, and Markus had no idea why. He didn’t know what he was doing, he just spoke up that first night, when no one else did, and suddenly he was burdened with the role of leadership. And he tried, he tried so hard, but they had still died, one by one, until it was just North and him. And now she is gone too. And Markus _can’t do this,_ not on his own.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, silent sobs escaping his mouth every now and then, doll held against his chest, but the changed shadows from outside tell him it must have been a while. He rubs his eyes as he stands up and gives the doll one last look before putting it on the couch. He feels slightly better, as if his despair has left him with his tears, but his breakdown left him tired and drained. Maybe he should just find a secure house and settle down for the night, stop thinking for a while. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. He’ll deal with this again tomorrow.

Picking up his backpack he walks to the front door. Just before he steps out on the porch he sees it. Someone just entered the house across the street. Markus could see it clear as day. It wasn’t a walker; the person had a backpack and clearly opened the door. Unless walkers learned how to do that in the time he had his breakdown, there was a human in that house.

A living, breathing, human.

He doesn’t have to be alone anymore. He could meet them, they could go on together, maybe this person even has a group. He doesn’t have to be alone anymore. Markus can go to them, confront them, tell them his plan, convince them to come with him. Markus feels hope blossoming in his chest. _He doesn’t have to be alone anymore.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

The only thing stopping Markus from running across the street towards the stranger is a voice in the back of his mind, reminding him that this person might be dangerous. He knows how people can be, there are no rules anymore, and sometime that is enough for someone to forget their humanity. If he is going to confront this person, he needs to know what he is getting into first. 

Movement from the other house makes Markus realize he is standing in plain sight, being an idiot. He spots the stranger through the window on the first floor right before he dashes back inside. _Did they see him? _God, he hopes not. He could be in serious trouble if they did. __

_ __ _

_ __ _

It’s agonizing, waiting and listening, and the urge to just peek around the corner is huge, getting more and more difficult to ignore the longer Markus sits there, his fatigue replaced by adrenaline. But he withholds himself, and after a while he can hear a door closing. The stranger must have excited the house. 

It is quiet enough that Markus can hear their footsteps as they walk on the street, presumably to the next house. Another door opening and closing confirms that thought, and he finally peaks from behind the door. The streets are empty once more, but Markus spots movement in one of the houses.

_Hello there,_ Markus thinks. _Let’s see who you are, shall we?_____

_ _ __ _ _

_ _ __ _ _

He waits for the silhouette to move away from the windows, and quickly crosses the street to hide behind a wooden fence. If he can stalk this person without being spotted for a while, he should be able to see if they are alone or not, and hopefully make an estimated guess whether or not they can be trusted.

The hope that started growing in his chest is only getting stronger, and Markus wishes with all his being that this will end well.

_He doesn’t have to be alone anymore.___

_ __ _

_ __ _

* * *

The stranger appears to be a man, and, from what Markus can tell, he is alone. He has been stalking him for a while now, and hasn’t seen anyone else. If this guy has a group, then they are not around, which would be unlikely. The guy also doesn’t seem to look out for anyone, as he simply moves from house to house and searches them thoroughly. Markus wishes he could get a good look at him. He also wishes he knew how to approach him if he decided to talk to him. Markus would like to avoid scaring him off or starting a conflict.

The stranger has searched 14 houses since Markus spotted him, and Markus has managed to remain undetected ever since, finding clever hiding spots to spy on the guy while he is occupied with looting. One time a walker almost gave him away, but Markus had managed to climb on top of a garage to avoid being seen.

He is currently squatting uncomfortably behind a fence, watching the stranger across the street. The man appears to be struggling with a locked door, which give Markus an opportunity to move to a better location. Just as he makes his way over to a more hidden spot the stranger manages to open the door and steps inside, closing the door behind them. 

Markus does the usual, which is to wait for about twenty minutes, enough time for the other man to search the house, then carefully entering it and find a new spot to remain undetected.  
After what Markus guesses is enough time he moves. He didn’t see the stranger exit the house, but he has used the back door several times before, causing Markus to almost lose him. So he carefully crosses the street, and squads on the porch for a moment, listening for any sign of the stranger still being inside.

Satisfied with not hearing anything, Markus opens the door and quietly makes his way upstairs, knowing he will have a better view of the backyard from there. 

Except when he finds a room that has a window facing the backyard, he doesn’t see the stranger anywhere. He rubs his hand over his head and sigs. No reason to panic, maybe Markus just waited too long. The guy could’ve already entered the next house, Markus just needs to go and check if –

He hears the intake of breath before he hears the voice.

“I’d rather not kill you,” comes from behind him, and every muscle in his body tenses. “but I won’t hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice.”  
Slowly, Markus turns around, careful to not make any sudden movements. _I fucked up so bad_, he thinks.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

When he is fully turned around Markus is met with two gorgeous brown eyes, and a gun pointed to his head.

_Well, shit.___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you who is reading this months after it's completed!
> 
> Comments are still seen by me even though the story ended and I love them sooo much :D
> 
> So if you have a minute, please leave me one :)


	2. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the characters are introduced, it's time to introduce _the plot_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how
> 
> -[Demons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRsgZuwf_8), Imagine Dragons

Granted, Connor did not think this through. Here he is, having a stranger at gunpoint, which was the plan, but he doesn’t quite know what to do next, or how this is going to end. It also doesn’t help that the stranger is ridiculously hot. _So not the time, Connor._

The man has turned around and is now looking at Connor and the gun pointed at his face, hands slightly raised at his side. For a moment, neither of them speak. Then, the man gives Connor a somewhat helpless smile. “Ehm… hi.”

The smooth but hesitant voice snaps Connor out of whatever daze he’d been in. He makes sure to keep his voice steady and secure, showing no sign of the insecurities raging inside him, his question clear and simple. 

“Why are you following me?”

The man takes a moment, blinks, _holy shit are his eyes two different colors?_ and throws Connor an innocent look. “I wasn’t –”

“Cut the bullshit.” Connor interrupts him. “You’ve been lurking around me for hours, you’re not as stealthy as you think you are. Don’t lie to me. I’ll ask you again,” He unhooks the safety of his gun with a click. “Why are you following me?”

“Okay, I know I must look like a total creep, but I have a reason.” The stranger starts, his voice is calm and collected. He seems completely unfazed by the gun pointed at his head. “I just don’t really know how to verbalize it without looking more like a creep.”

He seems so confident, like he knows Connor is not going to shoot him, which is ridiculous, because Connor doesn’t even know whether he’s going to do that. “Try me.” Connor says.  


“I don’t want any trouble, okay?” The man begins. “I just wanted to see if you were alone.”

_Okay, that is very unsettling,_ Connor thinks. “Why?”

“I swear, I didn’t mean to stalk you like that,” The stranger never breaks eye contact, and even though Connor is the one with a gun, the other man makes him feel like he has just as much control of the situation as Connor does.

“I have been alone for… a while now.” He continues. “You probably know not all people are save to just walk up to. I was hoping to talk to you without scaring you off.” The man gives him a somewhat lost smile and looks at gun. “Clearly I failed.”

Connor should be able to tell if he is lying. He should be able to come up with more questions, he knows how to interrogate people. Instead his mind buzzes, and it takes him a second to realize the other man has stopped speaking. Connor hopes the man doesn’t notice the slight tremor in his hand.

“So, I’m supposed to believe that you were following me just to see if you could have a chat?” He finally asks, distrust evident in his voice. 

“More or less,” The stranger answers. “I was hoping we could come to an agreement. Like I said, I want no trouble.” He takes a small step forward, and gestures towards the gun. “You really don’t have to do this.”

Connor immediately raises the gun and straightens his back, not even having noticed he’d started to slump. “Stay back!” He all but yells. He really needs to calm down, take back some control. “You wanted to talk, so talk. Then I will decided whether I have to do this or not.” _There, _he thinks, _that’s better._

“Okay,” The man answers and lets out a breath. Maybe he is more nervous than he lets on, Connor thinks. “Okay.” He looks Connor in the eye once more. “It’s more of proposition really. I already told you, I am alone, and from what I can tell, so are you.”

He stops speaking for a moment, and Connor becomes impatient. “So?”

“So, I was thinking, maybe we could… travel together? As in, team up.”

Connor can’t stop the disbelieving snort that escapes him. “Yeah right,” He says, “and the second I drop my guard you put a knife in my back.”

The man actually has the audacity to look shocked. “What? No I wouldn’t- why would I do that?”

“I don’t know,” Connor says, tightening his hold on the gun. “Maybe you want my gun, or my supplies. Or maybe you just enjoy hurting people, you wouldn’t be the first.”

The man is silent for a moment, thinking. Connor waits for him to start speaking again while trying to come up with a way to get out of this, which seems to be a nearly impossible task. He doesn’t want to shoot the guy, but Connor doesn’t know how to guarantee his own safety if he doesn’t. His tired body and mind are not helping him out either.

“You have no reason to trust me, that’s true.” The stranger suddenly continues, and Connor puts his focus back on the man and his stunning eyes. “But the way I see it, you are alone, and so am I. No offense, but you look dead on your feet, you could probably use someone to watch your back, I know I can anyway.” 

Connor slightly panics at that statement, not because what the man said is true, but because Connor hoped it wouldn’t be that obvious how miserable he is feeling. The brunet feels like he is losing more and more control over the situation the longer it lasts.

Apparently, he is thinking too long, because the man starts talking again. “Look, you don’t have to trust me. I can get out of your way and we never have to cross paths again.” 

_Yes, that is what I want._

“But please, think about it. It would benefit both of us if we were together. You know that.”

_No, it wouldn’t. I can’t. _

“I can’t survive on my own, I’ve tried, but I can’t. I need someone. Maybe you do too. You said I wouldn’t be the first to hurt people for fun, right? You know what people can do, do you really want to be alone, fighting the dead _and _the living?”

_I don’t- I don’t know._

The man continues, no matter how much Connor’s mind tries to reject him. However, as he keeps talking, Connor’s finds himself dismissing him less and less. His mind supplying him with,_ he has a very nice voice,_ doesn’t exactly help either. The man is right though, Connor has been doing bad on his own, barely managing to stay alive, and the last week has been the worst. Maybe having someone on his side wouldn’t be so bad. But there is one thing…

“How do I know if I can trust you?”

“I don’t know.” The stranger sighs. “I can’t prove to you that I mean no harm. But think of this, I don’t know if I can trust you either. I’m just taking a leap of faith here. Maybe you can too.” He smiles again, and damnit, but it’s been so long since Connor has seen a kind face, and that fucking smile makes him want to trust the stranger immediately. He just doesn’t know if he can. He has been on his own for so long, how is supposed to just turn that around because someone decided to trust him?

Maybe he doesn’t has to turn it around completely. It’s not like he will hand his gun to the other man and hope for the best. He can be cautious, and pull the plug if things go south.

_God please, don’t let things go south._

“So that’s all? You just want to be with someone?” Connor asks, as if it wasn’t obvious already, but his tired mind needs reassurance, even if he won’t fully believe the answer.

“That’s all, I promise.” The stranger responds, and after hesitating one last time Connor slowly lowers the gun. A tension filled beat passes, but then the man smiles, which makes Connor wonder if maybe he just hallucinated an angel, and extends his hand.

“My name is Markus.”

* * *

It feels strange, having someone else around. Connor makes sure to keep the man, _Markus_, in his sight all the time. Which proves to be fairly easy, as Markus seems to have caught up on what the brunet is doing, and actually made an effort to stay in full sight. He is going out of his way to show Connor that he means no harm, and Connor doesn’t really know what to make of that.

After their tense meeting Connor suggested they should scavenge the rest of the houses, and Markus agreed. Even though Connor keeps searching the houses from top to bottom, the older man doesn’t seem concerned with looting the places. After asking why, Connor finds out Markus’ bag is filled with supplies, which is great, because that means Markus won’t kill him for his stuff. Connor is not jealous of all his supplies of course. 

As they enter the final house the sun has set for a few minutes and the darkness starts spreading fast. Connor walks towards the kitchen, keeping an eye on Markus who heads towards the living room. The kitchen is filled with little figurines and decorations _everywhere. _Connor makes sure to avoid them as he searches the place. The cabinets go first, but when he opens the fridge his head starts to spin, and it takes him a moment to recover. He takes a few deep breaths and blinks quickly to overcome the sudden wave of dizziness._ He needs sleep._

“Are you alright?” 

The sudden voice makes Connor jump and he hits the fridge door, causing some figurines to shatter on the floor with a loud crash. 

“Oh shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you okay?” Markus voice is filled with concern as he reaches forward, and Connor is quick to hurl back. How did he miss Markus walking up on him?  
“I’m fine.” He straightens back up and looks the heterochromatic man in the eyes. “Is there something you wanted?”

“I was-” Markus hesitates, his arm still slightly outstretched. He looks like he wants to make sure if Connor is alright, but he decides to drop the matter. “It will be dark soon.” He says instead. “This is the last house. There is a fireplace, and I found some wood. We should set up camp for tonight.”

“Yeah,” Connor agrees. “Sure, I’ll just check upstairs before-”

Markus interrupts him. “I already did. There is nothing there. The place is safe.”

He already did? How long did Connor black out for? 

“I’ll take the first watch.” Markus suggests. “You can get some rest, you need it.”

“I’m fine. I’ll take the watch.”

“Connor,” Markus begins, voice soft. “You’re dead on your feet. You need to sleep.”

Markus’ concern reminds Connor of Hank, back when Connor refused sleep because of his nightmares. He would stay awake as long as he could, claiming he didn’t need rest. He knows Hank was concerned because he cared for Connor, although it took the boy some time to realize that. Connor fears Markus’ motivations come from something else. 

“Why are you so eager to get me to sleep? So I drop my guard and you can take what you want? Is that it?” Markus’ eyes scoot away, and he actually looks a bit hurt. Connor feels slightly bad now, but he stands his ground.

“You can’t deny you’re tired, Connor. You keep zoning out and nearly fall asleep while you’re standing. If you’re so concerned about dropping your guard you’re a little late. How are you going to defend yourself if you pass out?”

He seems so genuine. Like he actually cares about Connor. Maybe he does. If Connor is being honest, he isn’t completely unreasonable. He _is _tired. Why does Markus care? What is he getting at? Maybe Connor just need some sleep. He can’t come up with anything now. Maybe tomorrow. 

Markus is still looking at him, that worried look on his face, and Connor makes a decision. “Alright, fine. If that makes you happy.” He mumbles and walks past Markus to the living room.  
There are some matches and a basket filled with wood next to the fire place, and Connor makes quick work of starting a fire as Markus starts locking the doors and windows. It doesn’t take long for the darkness to leave the room, being replaced by a warm light.

Connor sighs and sits back, staring into the growing fire for a moment, his mind blank. The heat coming from the flames feels quite nice on his face, and he lets out a soft breath, before getting back to his feet. Markus is just closing the last curtain, making sure no light leaves the house, as that will attract walkers that are possibly nearby, and Connor turns to look at him. He noticed before, but Markus also seems tired. Granted, he’s doing way better than Connor, but it must have been a while since he last slept. 

Connor suddenly feels guilty. Markus has been worried for Connor the entire time, and all Connor has done was accusing him without even considering the possibility he might really mean no harm. Maybe Markus was right, and he should take a leap of faith for this ridiculously hot stranger that just walked into his life.

“Are you sure you want to stay awake?” Connor asks. “This place is pretty much abandoned, you don’t need to stay up the whole night.”

Markus rewards him with one of those gorgeous smiles Connor is already addicted to. He really hopes Markus won’t rob or kill him tonight, that would seriously reduce his attractiveness.  


“It’s fine, I might get some sleep later. You can take the couch, I’ll have the chair.” Markus says, pointing at a very fluffy looking chair that reminds Connor of Sumo’s fur. 

Connor wants to protest more, his distrusting part screaming at him not to drop his guard, but the promise of sleep on a comfy couch quickly overrides those thoughts, and he sinks down onto the cushions. It feels strange, placing his trust in someone else, someone he has met not even an hour ago. But as Markus sits down in the chair and leans backwards, the flickering light of the fire dancing of his face, Connor doesn’t feel threatened at all. Maybe he really can trust Markus. He guesses he’ll find out when he wakes up tomorrow.

“Hey,” He says, and Markus looks up. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t murder me in my sleep.” He lets the smallest grin creep over his face and watches Markus’ expression go from confused to amused in the matter of seconds. 

“Well shit, there goes my evil plan.” 

The couch is so soft. Connor can barely keep his eyes open and struggles to stifle a yawn. “I still have my gun,” He warns, even though there is no real threat in his voice anymore. “I am a very light sleeper.”

Markus shakes his head ever so slightly and smiles. “I’ll keep that in mind. Goodnight Connor.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” 

The second Connor’s head hits the cushions his eyes close, and he drifts off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Connor seems to fall asleep the moment he lays down, and Markus lets out a relieved breath. Connor had looked like he would collapse any moment and Markus is glad he was able to prevent that, although it was a close call. 

It is a curious thing, about Connor. Markus honestly hadn’t know whether he would get shot when he saw the gun pointed at him, but he couldn’t let that show as the man behind the gun seemed just as uncertain as he was. He was relieved he managed to talk Connor down, and actually got him to accept his proposition.

Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that Connor trusted Markus. He would frantically look around every time Markus left his view, and whenever Markus looked his way the brunet would be staring back. Markus made sure to remain predictable and in Connor’s eyesight after noticing that, doing everything he could to get Connor to trust him. 

As Markus looks at his sleeping form now, he can’t help but notice how adorable Connor looks, his expression finally relieved from the distrust and exhaustion. Had he not seen how steady Connor could hold a gun and question him merely an hour ago, he would’ve never thought of him as dangerous. 

Despite knowing that, and the fact that Connor has told him multiple times he will shoot him if he has to, Markus doesn’t think Connor will kill him. Connor reminds Markus a bit of an abused animal, desperate for help, but not ready to trust anyone.

Markus wonders what happened to him to make him so wary of people.

It becomes harder to stay awake the longer Markus sits in the chair, enjoying the heat of the fire and observing the sleeping man on the couch. Perhaps it’s a bit creepy to watch him sleep, but Markus has already stalked him, so whatever. 

After a few hours Markus starts to drift of only to snap back to reality ever so often, and he debates just going to sleep. Connor has seemed to make a decision, telling Markus he could sleep if he wanted, showing concern, even though it was hardly detectable. That, and he actually made a joke, beautiful brown eyes lighting up just the tiniest bit, and Markus had to compose himself to give a proper answer.  


It seems calm, he hasn’t seen a walker since Connor confronted him, and he has certainly not seen any other humans. Sleeping wouldn’t be so bad. He never sleeps long, he will probably wake up before Connor does. 

With that in mind, Markus leans back, and after shifting around for a bit, he manages to find a somewhat comfortable position. Before he closes his eyes, he throws one look at the other man, and can’t help but smile.

_He isn’t alone anymore._

Markus hopes North is happy for him, where ever she is.

He puts his head on the armrest, closes his eyes, and waits for the darkness to take him away.

* * *

It’s cold when he wakes up. The fire must’ve gone out somewhere during the night, and the cold had started to seep back into the room. Markus start to sit up and stretches his limbs. His neck is stiff from sleeping in the chair, and he grimaces as he tries to move it from side to side. 

A quick glance to the side confirms that Connor is still fast asleep on the couch, curled up on his side and shivering slightly. He must be cold as well, Markus thinks. There is a blanket on one of the other chairs, and after some slight hesitation Markus throws it over the sleeping man. He holds his breath as Connor shifts in his sleep, but thankfully doesn’t wake up.

_Light sleeper my ass._

Daylight is starting to creep into the room, escaping from behind the curtains at every chance it gets. Markus takes a moment to consider opening the curtains, but one look at Connor makes his decided against it. He doesn’t want the light to wake him.

He decides to make breakfast instead. In the half dark of the room Markus makes his way over to the fireplace, and throws some wood on the smouldering ashes. It doesn’t take long for the dry wood to catch fire again, and Markus heads to the kitchen to search for a pan. 

He has found a can of soup in one of the other houses and had wanted to save it, but as Markus thinks back at how desperately Connor had been searching for supplies, he figures the other man could use a warm meal. 

It takes him some time to time to manoeuvre the pan to stay steady on the fire, but he manages somehow, and after opening the can with his knife he carefully pours the soup into it. He sits in front of the fire as he waits for the meal to warm up, occasionally stirring it with a spoon he found.

His leg is just starting to go numb when Connor finally stirs and wakes up. He gives the blanket a confused look, but doesn’t question it. He proceeds to sit up and finally look over to the fireplace where Markus is seated.

“Good morning.” Markus greets him, and smiles. “I didn’t murder you.”

Connor looks confused for a moment, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “No.” He agrees. “Thanks for that. What are you doing?”

Markus takes a moment to answer, as he is occupied with staring at Connor’s face. His hair is unkempt and messy from sleep, a stray lock falls into his face and Markus has the sudden urge to brush it away. He still wears a sleepy look on his face and Markus can’t but notice how cute and handsome he looks. Connor’s eyes are on him and he raises an eyebrow.  


Oh, right, he asked something.

“I ehm-” Markus turn back to the fire to hide the blush that undoubtably creeps over his face. “I made soup. I-I thought you might be hungry. So I made it. Breakfast.” Markus trails off. _That was very smooth._ He turns back to face Connor, who now has a tiny smile on his face.

“Well, that smells better than anything I’ve eaten in a while.” Connor pushes himself of the couch and makes his way over to the kitchen. Markus can hear him opening some cabinets before he comes back with two bowls in his hands.

“I got most of the dust out of it,” Connor says as he looks in the bowl. “I think this is as clean as they’re gonna get.” He hands Markus one of the bowls and a spoon, and throws him another one of those adorable smiles. 

Markus can’t help but smile back as he takes the bowl. “We can’t be very picky these days huh?” He says as he stirs the now hot soup once more before pouring it into the bowls and handing one over to Connor. The brunet thanks him and goes to sit on the couch, and Markus joins him. They eat in silence for a while, both trying to not get burned by their hot meals. Markus heard Connor sigh in relief as he took his first bite, and he is glad he decided to make him something warm. 

It only takes a few minutes before Markus can’t stand the silence anymore.

“So,” He begins. “what’s your plan?”

Connor gives him a confused look, and Markus realizes that might not have been the best way to verbalize his thoughts. “What do you mean?” Connor asks.

Markus takes a moment to think over his words. “I mean, are you headed somewhere? Like the coast, or a city?” He finally says.

“Oh.” Connor says as he looks away. “No, I’m… I’m just wandering around. Trying not to die. You know.” He shrugs. “Why?”

Markus tries and fails to be casual. “Nothing really, just…” _Jeez Markus just say it._ “I do have somewhere I’m headed towards.” 

That spikes Connor’s interest. He looks up with a curious glance in his eyes. “Oh? And where might that somewhere be?”

Markus hesitates only slightly. “Denver.”

“Denver?” Connor’s unbelieving face is exactly what Markus has been afraid of. “As in, 1500 miles away Denver?”

“1200.” Markus answers and ignores Connor’s eyeroll. “If we can find a car, we can get there in a day.” He points out.

“_If we can find a car._” Connor echoes, and folds his legs under him to face Markus fully on the couch. “Which, of course, is a super easy task, not to mention finding enough gas to get there.”

Markus puts his bowl on the floor and turns to face Connor fully as well. “I never said it would be easy, but it is possible. We can do it.”

“Okay, back up.” Connor holds up his hand, his bowl still clutched in his other hand. “_We?_ When did I sign up for an impossible journey?”

“You agreed to team up yesterday!” Markus exclaims.

“To work together, not to go to freaking Denver!” 

Markus sighs and bows his head. This is exactly what he’d been dreading. He knew he would have to bring up his plan at some point, but it is a ridiculous plan, Markus knows that. He would understand if Connor wouldn’t want to go, and he isn’t going to force him either. 

He just wished he didn’t have to lose his companion right after he found him. Maybe Connor wants to stick around until he finds a car.

“Why do you want to go there anyway?” Connor’s voice breaks through Markus’ pining. 

Markus sits back up and faces Connor again. “Someone I know might be there.”

“Might?”

“Yes, well…” Markus grimaces and rubs the back of his head. “Have you ever heard of Elijah Kamski?”

It is obvious Connor was not expecting that. He tilts his head to side, reminding Markus of a puppy, and frowns. “I know he’s super rich. He is a brilliant scientist, right?”

Markus nods. “He singlehandedly discovered cures for several diseases, which got him loads of money, obviously.” Markus gestures around. “I hope he might have figured out a cure for_ this_ too. If he is still alive.”

“If and might.” Connor doesn’t try to hide the disbelieve in his voice. “That really inspires confidence.”

Markus sighs. He knows that it doesn’t. But this has been his only plan ever since their camp got overrun. This is what he and North were trying to get to, he clings to it just to have a goal. He can’t give that up now. If not for North than for himself. He _wants_ this.

But that doesn’t mean he should drag Connor into this. Denver is a big city, and everyone knows to stay away from that. All cities are filled with walkers, he’d seen it first-hand. He won’t ask Connor to risk his life for his sake.

He’s about to speak up to voice his thoughts, but Connor beats him to it. “Kamski lives in Detroit. Why do you think he is in Denver?”

Connor might think his plan is ridiculous, but he does show interest, and it gives Markus hope. “My dad knew him.” He explains. “They were friends before he died, I visited his place in Detroit once, but Kamski had another house in Denver, I think it's some sort of holiday home. I don’t know.”

He looks over at Connor to get some insight in his thoughts, but his face betrays nothing. So Markus continues. “I’ve checked his house in Detroit, one of the first places I went. It was abandoned, looked like it had been for some time.”

“So you think he went to Denver, and that he’s still there?” Connor concludes and Markus nods.

“You know that is totally ridiculous, right? The chances of him being there, and you _getting _there are… are minuscule.”

Markus sighs. “I know.”

“Even if you manage to get to the city, there will be thousands of walkers. You’ll never make it.”

“He lives outside the city…” Markus tries.

“It’s just stupid, Markus. You’ll die before you get there.”

Markus doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking at the couch between them.

It is silent for a moment until Connor speaks up again.

“So,” He says, and Markus looks up. “how are we going to find a car?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> Big thanks to everyone who left a Kudo on this work and especially those who took time to comment, it made me smile the entire day :)
> 
> I hope this chapter was enjoyable, don't be shy to comment your thoughts!
> 
> Chapter 3 is one its way and will be posted next week... EXCITEMENT
> 
> love you all <3


	3. Ready Aim Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary? Ehm...  
Angst, and then me trying to put a band aid on the wound by adding fluff?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood in the writing, stuck in the fighting  
Look through the rifle's sight
> 
> -[Ready, Aim, Fire ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJMWRJDKg5s), Imagine Dragons

Connor doesn’t know why he decided to go with Markus’ absurd plan. Maybe he agreed because it felt good to finally have an objective again. Or maybe he because it gives Connor hope, even if it is so little it's barely there. Or maybe it is because Markus, _stupid, stupid_ Markus, had shown him what he had missed for a year, and now that Connor has had a taste of it, he cannot lose it again.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But what’s done is done, and now he’s walking again. At least this time he is not alone. 

They have decided to leave the village behind. There was no reason to stay, Connor had searched the place from top to bottom and had found barely anything, let alone a working car. So they picked a direction and started following the road, hoping to find another place soon.

Apparently Markus had decided he wanted to know more about Connor, and kept trying to make conversation. Connor was not ready for that at all, after being alone for nearly a year, and found simple question such as his age hard to answer. Markus seemed determined though, and Connor gets to lrean alot about Markus; he is 27, two years older than he is, his last name is Manfred and his dad had died just before everything fell apart. 

Surprisingly, Connor feels more relaxed and at ease the longer they spend on the road together.

“So,” Markus starts after he finished telling Connor about his passion for art. “what did you do before all this?”

Connor isn’t really interested in bringing up memories of _before,_ but Markus had done it, so Connor guesses it’s only fair.

“I was in college.” He answers. “I wanted to be a detective.” Connor remembers how proud Hank had been when he got into college, even though it wasn’t a surprise, with his grades. They had held a small celebration at home, Hank had made a poor attempt at baking a cake and even gave Sumo a little party hat. It was an adorable sight but Sumo kept trying to get it off, so Connor had taken pity on the dog and freed him.

He smiles at the memory, before the grief of the present overtakes his thoughts and Connor forces it out of his head. He hopes Markus hasn’t noticed, but he speaks just in case.  
“What about you? Did you want to be an artist?” 

Markus smiles and shakes his head. “No, although I did consider it for a while.” He keeps looking at the road ahead of them as he talks, and Connor takes the opportunity to look at his dark face, not for the first time. It’s not his fault Markus is absolutely captivating. “I got into med school when I was… 25? I had just started my first year when Carl got diagnosed. So I quit to take care of him, which he did not agree with, obviously.” Markus grins, and Connor wonders how he does that, talk about the past, about people who are _gone _and still manages to smile.  
Hang on, did he just say Carl? 

“Wait,” Connor says. “Your dad’s name is Carl?”

Markus turns his head to look at him and their eyes meet for a moment. Connor's heart speeds up and he is quick to look away again. “Yes?” Markus answers.

“So his name is Carl Manfred, as in the artist, Carl Manfred?” Connor can’t believe he didn’t put the pieces together faster, he should’ve known after Markus told him his last name, or about his dad’s illness.

“Oh,” Markus says. “yeah, that’s him. You know his work?”

“I do, I have been to one of his exhibitions once, but never got to meet him.” Connor glances sideways. “I thought his son’s name was Leo?”

The sad smile Markus was wearing disappears from his face and Connor feels suddenly guilty for bringing it up. That must’ve brought some memories back. _Way to go, Connor. _

“Leo is, or was probably, my brother. Not by blood, obviously. Carl adopted me when I was four.” Something defensive slides over Markus’ face. “Not that it matters, Carl is my father, blood related or not.”

“I know what you mean.” Markus looks at him again, confused. “I mean- I-I’m adopted, too.” Connor quickly explains. He doesn’t know if he is ready to talk about that, but he wants Markus to know he understands. That, and because talking to Markus feels… nice. 

“My dad i- was a police lieutenant. One day he got called to a crime scene and found a five-year-old boy in the attic.” Connor starts. He notices that he doesn’t find talking about this as hard as he thought, maybe because this is a story he has told many times before. “Normally the police would call a social worker and put kids like that in the system, but I guess I was special, ‘cus dad made it his mission to adopt me.” Connor shrugs. “It took a while, but eventually he did it. I never gave our blood relation a second thought.”

Markus seems surprised, and Connor makes sure to keeps his gaze on the road ahead. He feels vulnerable.

“I gotta ask.” Markus says. “Why were you in the attic at a crime scene?” 

Okay, Connor guesses that’s fair. He never felt comfortable telling _that_ part of the story, but he finds he doesn’t mind telling it to Markus. He wonders why that is.

It is a heavy story, but the world has changed and death and violence aren’t that uncommon anymore. That being said, Connor still doesn’t know how to start. “Ehm…”

“You don’t have to tell me, if you’re not comfortable.” Markus says, and Connor feels warm all over at how _kind_ and _caring _the other man is. He hasn’t felt like that is a long time.  
Normally he would stop talking now, but…

“My mother,” He begins. “was the head of a criminal organisation.” Markus looks up at that and the corners of Connor’s lips curl up knowing he caught him off guard.

“She was not my biological mother, but adopted me as a baby. I have no idea why she did that, maybe she wanted an heir for the family business.” Markus grimaces. Yeah, Connor knows it’s fucked up. _He _is fucked up.

Connor continues nonetheless. He tells Markus how Amanda had left the city for a few days for a ‘business trip’, how he was left home alone with a guard. He tells him how Amanda hadn’t even hired a nanny, as she found Connor could take care of himself at five years old. 

“She sounds like a great woman.” Markus says, which makes Connor chuckle. His next words drip with sarcasm.

“Oh definitely, she was a ray of sunshine.” 

Markus makes talking easy, Connor realizes. He hates talking about Amanda, but here, walking on a deserted road in a dead world with Markus next to him he feels fine. Markus just has this certain… aura around him that makes Connor feel, safe, in a way. Whatever it is, he likes it. He likes it and wants to keep it.

“Anyway,” He continues, “Amanda was gone for two days when some guy broke into our house, he wasn’t pleased with the services he received, apparently.” 

Connor remembers the sound of breaking glass, the door of his room flying open and the guard pulling him up by his arm, gun drawn. The guard had told him to hide until he came get Connor, so he had done just that. He tells Markus as much.

“I guess he didn’t come to get you.” Markus says.

Connor shakes his head. “They shot each other, if you can believe that. The police found me and took me to the station. I just kept waiting for Amanda to come get me, but she never did.” He shrugs again. “I suppose that’s one thing I can thank her for.”

Markus is silent after that, and Connor feels his anxiety creep up in his chest. Was that too much? Why would he even tell his tragic backstory to him? He should’ve just stopped talking after –

“Well,” Markus speaks up. “I’m glad you ended up where you did.” He smiles. “You turned out just fine.”

Connor nearly stops in his tracks. Did Markus really just say that? He turns his head to look at him, and meets Markus’ eyes once again. This time he does not look away.

Markus has a soft smile on his lips and Connor once again senses that warm feeling, and can’t stop the smile that creeps on his own face, even as he feels his cheeks heat up.

Markus turns his attention back to the road and Connor notices how close they are. If he were to move just so slightly their hands would be touching. 

He wonders what that would feel like. 

Markus suddenly stops walking and Connor quickly turns his attention back to road, feeling stupid for losing focus.

The road is gone. They have arrived at a river, and there is a gaping hole where the bridge should be. It must have collapsed during a storm, and all that is left is the raging river below.

“We could try to cross it.” Markus says after they stared at the obstacle for a while.

“No,” Connor shakes his head. “We would slip on the rocks, and the water is streaming way to fast. We’d get injured, or worse.” He scans the river once more. “That, and our supplies would get wet.”

Markus sighs and runs his hand over his head. “Well, shit.”

“We can follow the river, there is a high probability we will find another bridge.” Connor does not look forward to spending more time in the woods with no indicator of former civilisation, but what choice do they have? At least this time he has the river. And Markus.

“Okay, yeah.” Markus turns to Connor. “Left or right?”

Connor looks around for a moment. They don’t have a map, so any direction could be good. He fishes his coin out of his pocket.

“Heads we go left, tails we go right.”

Markus looks a bit confused but nods, and Connor tosses the coin in the air.

_Tails._

“Right it is.”

* * *

Connor was used to the woods being silent, to hearing no sound but his own feet crunching the fallen leaves and sticks, the occasional wind rustling the trees. Now though, the voices of him and Markus effectively case away the silence, the streaming river a soothing constant background noise.

Connor is getting tired. His back hurts, his legs are burning and the soles of his feet are getting numb. He guesses Markus feels the same. They should stop to rest soon, but Connor wishes they could make it back to the road first.

He doesn’t feel safe in the woods. Markus’ presence makes it a hundred times better than before, but he still feels watched. He thinks back to Markus’ words when they met and yeah, he was right. Connor needed someone to watch his back, and Markus fulfils that role.

That doesn’t mean he is going to drop his own guard, though.

“What is it?” Markus asks after Connor glanced behind them for the thousands time.

Connor scans the woods for a moment before answering. “I don’t know…” He turns back to look in front of them. “It just feels like there is… something.”

“Something?” Markus stopped walking to look around as well. “I don’t see anything.”

Connor has moved a few steps away from Markus before he realises the other man has stopped moving. “Maybe I’m just being paranoid.” He offers. “It’s probably nothing. We should jus-”

It all happens so suddenly Connor barely registers it. One moment it’s just the two of them standing next to the river, the next four more people step out of the wilderness, two of them with guns drawn, surrounding them.

Markus takes a step back but Connor stands his ground, hand going to his gun. He doesn’t draw it yet.

One of them, a woman, places her knife against Markus throat and Connor has to hold himself back to not rush forward and kick the shit out of her. 

Apparently the strangers notice it anyway, as he feels the barrel of a gun against his head. “None of that,” The bald man behind him says. “Just keep calm.”

“Exactly.” A man with a scar running across his nose echoes. “If you cooperate you’ll be on your way in no time.” The man grins, clearly pleased with himself. 

“What do you want?” Connor asks, suppressing a shudder as the man behind him breathes into his neck.

The man with the scar steps in front of him and smiles. “We want your stuff, dipshit.” He steps closer. “So why don’t you get a move on, and hand it over, nice and easy.”

Connor knows he probably should just do as they say, they are outnumbered and outgunned, but the look on Markus face and the way this man talks fills him with so much anger he simply refuses to do so. He lifts his chin up and stares the other man in the eye. “You’re not getting our stuff.”

“Oh,” The man says and turns halfway to look at his companion before turning back to Connor and promptly punching him in the stomach. 

The air gets knocked out of him and Connor gasps as he feels his legs buckle, but the brunet doesn’t have the chance to fall, as the man behind him pulls him up by his hair. From the corner of his eye Connor sees Markus lunges forward, but he’s stopped by the woman behind him.

“Quit playing around, Gavin.” The last member, a woman with her gun drawn, says. “Just take their shit.”

Connor tries to breathe through the pain while ignoring the unpleasant feeling of a hand pulling at his hair. He barely notices it when Markus speaks up.

“Please, don’t do this” The heterochromatic man says. “We don’t have much, if you take our supplies you’re killing us.”

Gavin rolls his eyes and turns his back to Connor to face Markus. “Does it look like I care, asshole? Shut your mouth and take off your bag.” 

Connor knows what Markus is doing, hell, he had done the same with him. Except Connor also knows that this time it won’t work. These people are not going to back down without a fight, and Connor tries to catch his companion’s eye to tell him just that. He is unsuccessful, however, as Markus looks straight at Gavin and keeps going.

“Please,” He repeats, voice calm. “You can have a few things, but don’t take all of it. We won’t survive if you-”

“I told you to shut your fucking mouth!” Gavin raises his knife towards Markus and Connor can feel the air tensing. _This won’t end well._

Thankfully, Markus seems to reach that conclusion as well and he stops talking, never breaking eye contact with his opponent. Gavin shakes his head and turns back to Connor, again with that ugly grin on his face.

“Are you going to hand it over or am I gonna have to cut it off you?”

Connor considers his options one last time before accepting defeat and starts taking off his backpack, the woman with the gun gestures for Markus to do the same. At least the knife at Markus’ throat is removed.

Connor hands his bag to Gavin, and he feels physically ill at the thought of having no food or water anymore. It seems they might make it out of this situation unharmed, and honestly that’s the best Connor can hope for right now.

Gavin turns to Markus who has his backpack in his hands, but as Gavin reaches for it Markus pulls back and Connor’s heart falls. “Don’t do this.” Markus says again. “Really, we can-”

“I warned you, motherfucker.” Gavin gestures to the woman with the gun, and Connor feels cold all over. “Tina-”

Tina raises the gun toward Markus and Connor doesn’t think but just _acts._

In one swift move he throws his head back while grasping at his captor' arms. The gun in front of him goes off, the bullet hitting nothing but air. Connor won’t let himself react to the pain in his ears as he grabs his own gun and fires one bullet at Tina.

He doesn’t stop to look if he hit her,_ he knows he did_, and turns to grab the gun coming at his face, dropping his own. He has no time to think about that as he sees Gavin charging at him with his knife. 

Connor lunges back as the man in front of him raises his gun once more, and manages to grab his arm, catching him off balance. With one single move he throws his body to the side and uses his momentum to throw the man towards Gavin. 

It has the desire effect. Gavin did not see it coming and his knife disappears in the mans chest. Connor ignores his scream and sprints forward, shoving Gavin’s head to the side and hitting his artery with his elbow. 

Gavin crumples to the ground, unconscious.

Connor frantically looks around for any threats, but there are none. His adrenaline filled body is shaking and he tries to calm down._ You’re okay, you’re safe._

A wet cough comes from the ground, the man who held him at gunpoint is lying there, knife still stuck in his chest. He has seconds left to live. 

Connor ignores the man, only caring about one thing. Markus.

He turns around, afraid of what he might see._ Markus with a knife in his chest, Markus with his throat slashed open, Markus dead, Markus…_

Markus is standing over the woman, staring down at her and breathing hard. He seems unharmed, but the anxiety in Connor chest continues to grow. Markus looks up and his eyes scan the bodies on the floor before landing on Connor’s face. 

Their gazes meet and Connor rushes over to him.

* * *

Markus thought he could get through them. If he could just explain to them, if he could make them understand then everything would’ve been fine. Markus knew that he was on thin ice, especially after Gavin punched Connor, but he couldn’t just let them take their supplies.

He could’ve talked them out of it. He knew he could. They’re living beings, capable of reason, nothing like the walkers, killing everything that moves. If he just kept talking things would be fine. He could do this.

And then Gavin ordered the woman to shoot him and he thought that was the end.

He jerked violently as a gunshot rang out through the woods, but nothing happened. There was no pain, no black void. Markus doesn’t understand.

He doesn’t understand until Tina collapses on the ground and Markus is too shocked to move for a moment. 

_Connor._

Connor is fighting, Connor had shot Tina, _and Connor needs his help right now._

He moves just in time to dodge the knife coming at his side. Markus manages to keep his balance and jams his elbows backwards, hitting the body behind him. The woman quickly recovers and comes at him with her knife. Markus barely manages to twist out of her way and swiftly step behind her.

Wasting no time he puts his arm around her throat and locks her in his hold. She tries to kick and stab him but can’t possibly do that without hurting herself.

Markus tightens his hold. _Don’t kill her don’t kill her don’t kill her._

Her struggles become weaker and Markus brings up his other arm and hits her as hard as he can.

She crumples to the ground and doesn’t move.

Markus stares at her for a moment, both trying to get his breathing under control and to make sure _she_ is still breathing. 

After establishing that yes, she is, Markus dares to look up. There are bodies on the ground, three of them. But Connor,_ Connor_ is still standing, body tense with adrenaline, and relief floods through Markus’ mind. _He just took out three people on his own. _Markus thinks, and then feels wrong for thinking that that it is kinda hot. _Not the time. So not the time._

The moment their eyes meet the tension in Connor’s slender frame snaps and he makes his way over to Markus.

“Are you alright?” Connor frantically asks him, placing a hand on Markus’ arm, eyes scanning his body. “Did they hurt you?” 

Markus' heart hammers in his chest at Connor’s proximity, and it takes him a moment to respond. “I’m fine, Connor, are you-”

“She had a knife against your throat.” Connor interrupts him, the hand on Markus’ arm moving upwards. “Did she get you? How did-”

“Connor.” Markus places his hand on Connor’s and finally the other man meets his eyes. “I’m fine.”

Connor suddenly seems to realize how close they are and quickly removes his hand from Markus’ arm, taking a step back. Markus immediately misses the contact.

“Are _you _alright?” Markus asks him, worried. “He hit you pretty bad.” 

Connor’s eyes slide to the side, and he straightens his back. “It’s fine, I’ve had worse.” He turns to look at the bodies on the floor. “We should probably take care of them.”

Markus turns to look at Tina, and the bullet hole in her forehead. She won’t come back. Then, for the first time, Markus looks at the other two. The bald man is dead, no question there, blood still pouring from his chest. Gavin is lying face down, and Markus doesn’t see a wound, but –

“Is he dead?” 

Connor shakes his head. “He is unconscious.” He squats down next to the bald man and sighs. “Better make sure none of them come back.” In one quick movement Connor brings his knife to the back of the man’s head, and pushes it down. Markus looks away.

Connor moves over to Gavin and Markus panics. “Wait, what are you doing?”

Brown eyes look up to him, brows furrowed. “Making sure they won’t come after us?”

“You just said he’s not dead, why are you…” He gestures towards the knife. 

Connor’s expression doesn’t change. “We can’t let them wake up. If they find us again they won’t hesitate to shoot us. We can’t take that chance.” He explains so calmly that it makes Markus stomach twist.

“We can’t just kill them!” He hisses. “Connor, you can’t seriously- they are living humans!”

Connor stands back up and looks Markus in the eye. “If we let them wake up, if we let them walk away, how long do you think it will take until they come after us? Or until they find someone else?”

Markus gets where Connor is coming from. He really does. He knows Connor is right, too. If they don’t kill them they will wake up and just continue with what they were doing, probably more aggressive now that two of their teammates are dead. 

All that being said, they cannot just murder them. The bald man and Tina are already dead, but that was self-defence. Connor saved Markus life, he knows that. But killing two unconscious people in cold blood just as a precaution… Markus can’t let that happen. 

“We’re not killing them.” He says, tone final.

Connor stares at him for a long time, their eyes having an unspoken argument. Markus notices how different the brown eyes are from when they were just talking. They were calm then, slightly wary, as an effect this world has had on them, but still warm and relaxed. Now though, Connor’s eyes are cold, determined. But there is something else, in their depths. _Fear, _Markus realizes. Connor is afraid of what will happen if he lets them live.

Eventually Connor sigs and looks away. “Fine.” He sounds upset. “_Fine._”

Walking around him Connor moves towards Tina’s body and takes the gun from her, handing it to Markus. The older man hesitates and Connor rolls his eyes. “If they come back, at least we will have the advantage. Take the gun, Markus.”

Yeah, that seems fair enough. Markus moves to take the gun, and his fingers brush against Connor’s for moment. Connor lets go of the gun and moves to check on the supplies of the defeated group. “We won’t take everything,” He says, as if he knew Markus was going to object. “Just some food and water.” 

Markus moves to help Connor, and they spent a few minutes searching the bags in silence. Connor won’t look at him.

Finally, Connor takes the gun from the bald man and puts it in his backpack. 

“Are we just gonna leave them like this?” Markus asks.

Connor takes a moment to answer, then shrugs. “There isn’t much we can do. They won’t be out for much longer, at least Gavin won’t be.” He hoists his bag onto his back. “I would like to be far away from here when they wake up.”

He sounds tired. He must be, they have been walking for a long time, and instead of taking a break they ended up in a fight. Markus would want to take a break now, but they can’t anymore. Connor is right, they could wake up any minute and the noise their fight had made will attract walkers. They need to move.

“Well, let’s go then.” A sad smile glides on Markus’ face, but Connor still won’t look at him. His shoulders sag.

They continue their journey at the rivers side, the silence tense between them. Connor seems mad, but Markus knows it’s not that. Connor has lost someone, and not to the walkers. It was evident in the worry on his face as he rushed over to Markus, in the way the tension still has not left his shoulders. Their fight with Gavin must have brought back some memories, and Connor seems to disappear further into his head the more minutes pass by, and it hurts. It hurts because Markus spend so much time carefully coaxing him out of it, trying to get a glimpse of the person behind his walls. And when they finally got comfortable, finally got Connor to talk to him, to smile and have his eyes light up, someone came along and decide to ruin it all. 

Markus feels powerless watching that shadow on Connor’s face grow darker, and is desperate to chase it away.

“Hey,” He says, finally breaking the silence. “Thank you, for- for what you did, back there.”

Connor seems surprised as he looks up. “Oh,” He looks back down, and Markus heart breaks at how sad he seems. “Yeah.”

“I’m serious.” Markus stops walking so he can look Connor in the eye when he says his next words. “I fucked up, I thought-” He takes a small breath. “I fucked up. You saved us, Connor.” 

Connor shrugs. “I couldn’t let them just…” He trails off, still not looking at Markus, so he places his hand on Connor’s arm. That has him look up. “You saved us. We’re okay, Connor. We survived.” He tightens his grip and searches his gaze. He looks a bit better, less lost in memories. 

“Yeah,” Connor agrees. “We’re okay.”

* * *

They keep walking, and eventually find a small wooden bridge on a calmer part of the river. The bridge is connected to a narrow dirt road, and maybe it isn’t what they were looking for, but they follow it anyway. 

The path leads them further away from the river, and eventually ends by a wooden cabin. After making sure the place is abandoned, they decide to settle down for the night.  
Connor made quick work of securing the doors and windows, making sure no one could enter unnoticed, while Markus prepared their dinner. Eventually they both collapse on the couch, bodies exhausted from walking and stress. 

Neither of them speaks for a moment, and Markus doesn’t mind the silence. Connor will talk when he is ready, and if he doesn’t want to than that’s fine as well. Tomorrow things will be better.

After most of the light has vanished from outside, Connor sigs. “I did not _want_ to kill them.” His voice is soft and somber, and if they weren’t so close Markus wouldn’t have heard him, despite the silence of the house.

“I don’t want you to think that I would just… That I wouldn’t even-” Connor obviously struggles to get his thoughts out, and Markus is quick to reassure him.

“It’s okay,” He wonders if Connor would appreciate it if he touched him again. “I know you wouldn’t.”

Connor keeps looking down, and shakes his head. “But you _don’t._ You don’t know me.” Markus wants to argue that, but he knows Connor isn’t done, so he keeps silent, and waits.

A few emotions flash over Connor’s face before he sets on determination. He still won’t look up though, keeping his eyes on the flames in the fireplace. “I don’t have the best experience with humans.”  
Markus tries to be as silent as he can be, afraid that even the tiniest movement will scare Connor off, make him stop talking. Still…

“You don’t have to tell me.” He says. “You don’t need to bring up those memories. It’s okay.” 

“No,” Connor finally looks at him. “No, I need you to know. You have to understand.” His eyes glance down again, long lashed covering them from Markus’ view. Connor takes a deep breath.  
“When everything just began to go down, my dad and I left the city, just like everyone else.” He begins. “I’m sure you remember the chaos, the panic, all that stuff. We had left the main roads, and didn’t see anyone else for a while, so we stopped driving to take a break.”

There’s a slight tremor in Connor’s voice, and Markus wants to tell him to just stop speaking, but he doesn’t. Maybe Connor needs this, needs to talk about it, even just once, so he can start healing.  
“I wanted to check the area, make sure it was save.” Connor continues. “I was stupid, I should have guessed-” He inhales sharply, and takes a moment to continue.  
“Anyway, when I got back to the car there was this other person. Dad would’ve been able to take care of himself, but this guy, he- he_ looked like me._” Connor furrows his brow and sits up a bit straighter. “He had the same hair color, same eye color, same size, all of it. I guess dad just didn’t- didn’t see.” 

He blinks a few times, and Markus sees his hand shaking ever so slightly. The desire to just hold him, comfort him becomes harder to resist, but Markus doesn’t move, lets Connor talk.  
“He had a gun.” Connor states. “So did we, but he had a gun to dads head. He wanted our car, told me to give him the keys.” The sound of thunder comes from somewhere in the distance, and the first raindrops tick off the roof. Markus doesn’t notice.

“Things escalated.” Connor’s voice becomes strained, the words coming faster now, as if he finally broke the dam and cannot possibly stop the flow anymore. “I had a gun, but I didn’t want- I had never _killed_ anyone, I wanted to save my dad but I couldn’t, I-” His next intake of breath shakes, and he slumps over once more. “The guy pointed his gun at me. Dad tried to grab it and I didn’t- couldn’t move. So the guy shot dad.”

Connor’s hand comes up to furiously wipe as his face, but Markus can’t see well enough to know for sure whether there are tears. “I moved, then. Shot him, right between the eyes and I rushed to my father, I tried to save him, I wanted to- I thought maybe I could…” He doesn’t speak for a few beats, the silence only broken by the rain drops on the roof and the fire crackling in the fireplace. 

“He died.” Connor concludes. “I failed to save him. It was my fault. That’s why I shot Tina, why I made Gavin stab the guy, why I wanted to make sure they stayed down.” He finally looks up again, but doesn’t quite meet Markus’ eyes. “I wasn’t going to let them kill you. Not if I could prevent it.”

Markus takes a moment to respond, to take it all in. Connor looks exhausted and miserable, and he needs to do something about that. “Connor…” He keeps his voice low. “I don’t blame you for killing them. I am grateful you saved me, saved us.” He wants to reach out so badly, just take his hand or place a hand on his shoulder, but Connor looks like he will run if Markus makes a wrong move, so he just keeps talking.

“Your father’s death, that wasn’t your fault either.” At that Connor looks at him, mouth opening to protest, but Markus is faster. “It wasn’t. You couldn’t have known what any other choice would have led to. Your dad saved your life, and you didn’t fail him. It is no one's fault but the asshole’s who decided to shoot him.” 

Connor looks down again, and Markus finally places his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “You said I didn’t know you, but I do. You’re a good person, Connor. I was lucky to have found you.”  
Connor doesn’t respond, but he slightly leans into the touch, and Markus takes that as a victory. They stay like that for a few seconds, before Connor moves back. His eyes are brighter than they were a few seconds before.

“I’m going to put our bottles outside, catch some rain.” And just like that he walks away. Markus lets him, knows he needs to be alone for a moment, and leans back into the couch, tension finally leaving his body. _That was something._

Connor, who had himself locked away behind 10-mile-high walls just told him his darkest memories, because he was afraid of what Markus might think of him. Markus has seen him kill before, Connor could take down a walker with scary efficiency, and apparently also take down living humans with the same skills. He was ready to end them if that assured their safety, and yet, all Markus saw is this man, this beautiful man who just had taken on one too many hits. 

Markus wonders what Connor would look like if he laughed, if the shadows on his face were chased away. He wished he knew how to achieve that.

The heterochromatic man sigs and looks around the empty living room, spotting the piano he saw when they entered. I wouldn’t be a bad idea to empty his mind a bit, but he hasn’t played for over a year…  
Before he knows what he is doing Markus has already made his way over the piano and he opens the board to reveal the black and white keys. Good thing it wasn’t locked. 

After shoving the dust of the stool Markus sits down and just stares at the keys for a while. It isn’t a grand piano like he had at home, but a simple brown upright one. He doesn’t know if he can do this, he hasn’t played since Carl died. North had asked him to play, once. He refused then, too rushed and too stressed to even consider playing.

But now, in this dark cabin with no one around but Connor and a thunderstorm to keep him company, he presses the keys down.

The note is shockingly loud in the previous calm room, and Markus stops for a moment. They’re in the woods, sound is hard to pinpoint at any time, and with the storm going over, nothing or no one should find them.

He presses down again, this time not a single note, but a cord, and before he knows it a soft smile has spread across his face. There is no sheet music here, but Carl had encouraged him to play something from just his memory, and Markus tries to recall the piece he was so fond of.

It takes a few attempts, but Markus finally finds the first cord, and his smirks. Now for the rest…

He spends a few minutes trying to remember how to play, which keys to press, how long to hold then and where to go next, but he keeps messing up. Frustrated, Markus leans back and lets out a huff, tempted to just give up, hoping Connor hasn’t heard. 

“_You think too much._” Carl had told him once. “_Try to only think about the sounds, let your hand do the rest. Close your eyes._” 

Markus sits back up, glaring at the keys who seem to challenge him. He sighs and places his hands once more, closing his eyes.

The music falters, at first. Markus presses too hard, or holds the notes too long, but it doesn’t take long for muscle memory to kick in and his hands move on his own. He loses himself in the music, not caring about the sound being too loud anymore, feet moving over the pedals while his fingers dance over the keys.

He only notices Connor standing behind when the song ends and his eyes reopen. 

Connor looks shocked, his mouth is slightly agape as he stares at Markus, eyes slightly red-rimmed, hair dripping from the rain. Markus is about the apologize for the noise when Connor speaks up.  
“That was really good.” It comes out in a rush, as if he hadn’t meant to say it, but Markus still smiles. “Thanks, it’s not what it once was, though. I haven’t played in while.”

Connor’s eyebrows shoot up. He looks better, not good, but better. “_That _wasn’t what it once was?” There is still some tension locked in his body, and Markus wants to take it away. 

“Come here,” He scoots aside on the stool. “I’ll teach you.” 

The utter terror that appears on Connor’s face is a mix between hilarious and adorable, and Markus can’t keep the smile off his face if he tried.

“I don’t think I can do that,” Connor says. “I was never good at music. I’ll just listen.”

Oh no, Markus isn’t going to let him talk his way out. He is going to teach Connor piano, if he wants to or not. Not for the sake of actually teaching him piano, but more as a distraction, something to focus on that isn’t death.

“Well,” He says. “you’ll never know unless you try. Come one, sit down.” He taps the empty space next to him, and Connor reluctantly walks over. There isn’t much space on the stool, and Markus nearly falls off to make room for Connor, but they make it work. Markus ignores the somersaults his stomach makes at the other’s close proximity. 

Connor looks at him, an adorable lost expression on his face, and Markus grins. “Well? Are you going to teach me, Mr Manfred?” Connor asks, and Markus puts his attention back to the piano.

“Alright, I’m just going to teach you something I know, because I don’t remember what I played when I began learning piano.” An overdramatic sigh leaves Connor’s lips. “Lucky me.”

Markus nudges his elbow in Connor’s side. “Shut up. Now,” He reaches out to take a slender hand in his own, and tries to ignore his heart speeding up. “just place your fingers like.. this, and your other hand,” He releases Connor’s hand to take the other. It feels nice. “like this.” 

Connor presses down the keys, and Markus sees a smile creeping on his face. Unfortunately, the brunet notices him staring and pulls his face back in a neutral expression. “Now what?”

They spend some time there together, the only light coming from the fire and the occasional flash of lighting outside. Markus teaches Connor how to move his hands, how to listen to the music, how to remember the chords, and even though Connor complains through the entire thing, it is peaceful. The outside world is banished for a moment, and for now it’s just the two of them, sitting on a too small piano stool.

After trying to make Connor understand how to play with both his hand for some time the brown eyed man groans in frustration and pulls his hands back. “I don’t understand.” He whines. “How do you move them completely separately?” 

Markus hums. “Don’t see it as two separate things.” He explains. “Try to hear how they cooperate, how the notes work together.” He plays the part he’s been trying to teach Connor. “Can you hear that? It is all intertwined, connected.”

Connor turns his head to look at him. “Markus?”

“Yes?”

“This is not helping at all.”

Markus chuckles and shakes his head. “Well, we have been working for a while. We should probably go to sleep.”

Connor hums, and blinks tiredly. Markus had been so caught up in guiding Connor’s fingers, the feeling of their hands and sides touching, that he hadn’t noticed how tired he actually is. He stretches his arms. “You’re doing great, we will continue with the next piano we find.”

Connor snorts and gets up from the stool. “Yeah, sure.” He offers his hand to Markus, it takes him a second before he takes it, and lets Connor pull him up. “But for now, we need sleep.” Connor finishes.

“Hmmhmm.” Markus hums sleepily, enjoying the feeling of their intertwined fingers. Connor doesn’t seem bothered to let go, so neither does he.

“Markus.”

Markus turns his gaze back to the chocolate eyes in front of him. 

“Thank you.” Connor’s voice is soft, and there is a small smile at the corner of his lips. He looks at peace, calm, and Markus is pretty pleased with himself.

He smiles and releases Connor’s hand. 

“Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took me way longer than it should have. This was the only chapter I basically had no ideas for, and this came out of it. It also got super long for some reason. I really hope it's not that bad... please review!
> 
> Chapter 4 should be up next week, but I don't know if I'm gonna have it finished by then. I really hope I do, but if not don't worry, it'll just be a bit later :)
> 
> honestly muscle memory is the best when playing piano, 50% of the time I don't even know which keys im pressing
> 
> Thanks for all the kudo's and comments, see you on the next chapter!


	4. Walking the wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys acting on feelings. Boys being idiots. Just fluffy with a surprise at the end :)
> 
> KINDA IMPORTANT WARNING, LOOK FOR THE *  
this warning will have spoilers so if you don't want that please ignore this, it isn't anything really bad and you will see it coming so...
> 
> so here it is
> 
> There will be sexual content in this chapter, if you wish to skip simply look out for the *, and it will end at the next line. (that means the balck lines that seperate the parts of the story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the storm is raging against us now  
If you're afraid of falling, then don't look down  
But we took the step, and we took the leap  
And we'll take what comes, take what comes
> 
> -[Walking the wire ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nv9br7P7g0), Imagine Dragons

It has been two days since they encountered Gavin’s group.

Two days since they left the cabin behind and continued their path through the wet forest, carefully manoeuvring their way around branches that were blown away by the storm. Markus hadn’t thought about it then, but as they walked through the damaged forest, he realized how lucky they had gotten that the cabin wasn’t hit by anything.

Connor had wanted to move on as soon as the storm had subsided and the first rays of sunlight shone through the leaves, stating they needed to put as much distance between them and Gavin as possible, and Markus had agreed.

He had agreed to move fast, but not to keep moving until one of them collapsed. It proved to be a challenge, getting Connor to just stop and rest, but the brunet soon discovered that Markus could be just as persistent as himself. Getting Connor to take breaks was surprisingly similar to getting a stubborn old man to take his medicine.

Connor got more relaxed the further they travelled, and Markus was relieved. He had been afraid their confrontation with Gavin had pushed him back behind his walls, that their peaceful moment behind the piano had been a one-time occurrence. 

But Connor kept talking, kept smiling, and Markus knew that Connor would be fine. As fine as anyone can be these days, anyway. Something changed, after the fight. Something both he and Connor had come to realize. 

They didn’t want to lose each other.

After their somewhat rocky start things had gone better. Somewhere along the line the two men had decided that they liked each other. They worked well together, and Markus could see Connor was trying to be more trusting after he realized Markus meant no harm.

And now…

Markus can’t forget the way Connor’s hand had felt in his, how good he felt when he made Connor smile, how Connor’s mere presence made him feel at ease.  
He’s starting to feel something for the other man, something more than the companionship they have formed. Last time he felt like this had been with North, but this time it is even stronger, and that scares him.

Markus is familiar with that fear, it is exactly what had held him back before, and although he is and always will be terrified to lose people, to lose Connor, he has learned not to wait anymore.  
But that doesn’t mean Connor feels the same. 

He takes a moment to look at the brown-eyed-man next to him, his face a contrast between light and dark, caused by of the shadows of the leaves. 

He doesn’t know what the other man is feeling. He knows Connor has been alone for quite some time, knows that he trusts Markus, but he also knows Connor is still struggling to shrug off months of paranoia. 

It doesn’t matter. He will give Connor as much time as he needs to figure himself out again. In the meantime, Markus will be by his side, making sure he doesn’t die from exhaustion.

They have been walking quite some time since their last break. The sun is high up in the sky, Markus guesses it’s around noon. Most of the water left by the storm has evaporated by now, and the temperature has been climbing throughout the day. 

It’s a complete coincidence that Markus spots the lake when he does. It’s not near the path they’re following, but he can see the sunlight dancing of the water as he glances to the side. He stops walking and Connor turns around.

“What?” 

Markus turns back to his friend. “We should stop for a while.” He knows Connor is going to protest before he even opens his mouth, so he continues. “We have been walking for hours. I’m tired, and I’m hungry. We’re stopping.” 

And with that Markus turns around and starts walking towards the lake.

“Markus!” Connor hisses, keeping his voice down as to not alert anything in their near surrounding. “What are you- wait!”

The sound of Connor hastily following behind reaches Markus’ ears and he can’t stop the smug smile that settles on his face.

He breaks through the bushes and is met with view of a small dock and a half-submerged boat at the end. Markus smiles.

Connor steps out of the bushes as well. “It’s a lake.” 

Markus nods, and continues to walk forwards, this time with Connor right next to him. “I suppose we can stop here for a while.” Connor gives in.

Together they walk on the dock, only stopping at the end, and they sit down. Connor takes some food out of his backpack while Markus stops to look out over the lake.

“It’s pretty.” Markus would love to paint here, the sunlight reflecting on the mirror-like water is beautiful, the colors of the summer would dance over his canvas. He stands there for a moment, lost in thought before Connor hands him his food. “It is.” He agrees.

Markus takes off his shoes and lets his feet dip in the water. Connor doesn’t follow, but folds his legs under him as he sits down, close enough that their shoulders are touching, making Markus leans into it. Connor doesn’t move away, causing him to smile.

They eat in silence for a while, simply enjoying the peace that has settled around them. The calm lake is almost enough to forget about the world. 

Almost.

Before any melancholic thoughts can take over his mind Markus finishes his meal and stands up again.

Connor turns his head to look up at him, eyes squinting against the sun. “What are you doing?”

Markus, for once, doesn’t look at the chocolate eyes looking up at him, but stares at the water. “Let’s go swimming.” 

Connor’s eyebrows shoot up. “What?”

“Come on,” Markus says. “It’ll be fun. We can get our minds cleared.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Connor murmurs.

Markus takes his shoes and places them with his backpack. “I think it’s a great idea.” He starts taking off his shirt. Connor immediately looks away, but not before the older man sees the blush on his face. Markus grins.

“You don’t know what’s in there.” Connor keeps his gaze pointedly on the water. “What if there’s a walker at the bottom?”

Markus hums and steps out of his pants. “If there is,” He drops his clothing on top of his bag. “I guess I’ll find out.” 

Not even hesitating, Markus launches himself of the dock and jumps in the lake.

Water splashes everywhere, and he hears Connor yelp before quickly scooting backwards, nearly falling off the other side. Markus shakes the water from his eyes and laughs at Connor’s indignant face. 

“Come on Connor,” He swims backwards. “Join me!” The water isn’t exactly warm, but it’s still nice enough. Connor doesn’t look as pleased as Markus is, though. He stands up and looks down at the heterochromatic man in the water. 

“You’re an idiot.” He declares. There are some dark spots on his shirt from where the water has hit him, and Markus would feel guilty if it wasn’t for the bubbly feeling in his chest. 

“You just want to leave all are weapons unsupervised on the dock?” Connor continues. “What if a walker shows up? _What if people show up?_”

He has a point, but Markus just wants a peaceful moment, create a happy memory, and he will get it, too. An idea pops into his head, and he resists the urge to roll his eyes, instead letting out a defeated sigh.

“Alright.” He swims back to the dock and holds out his hand. “Help me up.”

Connor steps forward, still having that stern look on his face. Markus manages to keep a poker face until Connor grabs his wrist.

The younger man realizes his mistake too late and a look of horror slides over his face as Markus grins and _pulls_.

Despite his best efforts, Connor cannot fight gravity, and with a shout he falls forward, hitting the water with a loud _splash_. Markus quickly scoots back to avoid being hit, and fails to contain his laughter as Connor emerges again, a look of shock on his face.

He turns to Markus. “You-” He looks as if he can’t quite believe what just happened. “Markus, my _clothes._ How could you just-” Connor seems at lost for words.

“Guess you’ll have to let them dry.” Markus smiles innocently. “If only there was something to do in the meantime…”

Connor looks like he could actually murder Markus right there and then as he climbs out of the water again. He strips down to his underwear, and this time it is Markus who looks away to avoid blushing. Connor still looks pissed and Markus wonders if maybe he has gone too far, until the younger man jumps into the lake and gives him a fake annoyed look.

“Let’s swim them.”

They do for a while, simply swimming around, splashing water at each other like they’re children, laughing and having fun. Markus feel so light, so good inside, and he wishes this moment could last forever. 

After splashing water in Connor’s face, Markus quickly swims away as the other man gives chase. He manages to stay ahead of Connor until his feet hit a higher part in the middle of the lake. As he walks up the sand, the water still coming up till his stomach, Connor snatches his wrist and pushes him down again.

Markus accepts defeat and stands back up. “Not such a bad idea, huh?” He asks, water dripping from his shoulders, trying to not to put too much attention to Connor’s slender chest.

“No,” Connor is slightly panting. “definitely a bad idea. But it is fun.”

Markus hums in agreement. It is fun. He hasn’t felt like this in so long, it was always just surviving and death, but with Connor he dares to let go, to _have fun_. 

Overwhelmed by a sudden wave of emotions Markus takes Connor’s hand and pulls him closer. “I’m really glad I met you, Connor.”

Connor blushes slightly, but doesn’t pull back. “Me too.” He grips Markus’ hand back. “You made me realize- you make me feel, well, _alive_.” 

Markus realizes how close they are. His heart is hammering in his chest, he just made the moment way more serious than it should have been. He should make a joke now, or step away, _deflect_. Instead he gives in to his feelings, and moves his other hand up to Connor’s face.

Connor doesn’t move, eyes glued to Markus’, his face is full of wonder, as if to ask Markus what he’s going to do next. 

Except Markus has no idea what he is going to do. He knows what he wants, but he is still unsure whether they’re on the same page, he would hate to destroy what they’ve built, to push Connor away, to start over again, to-

Connor moves forward and suddenly there is a mouth pressed to Markus’.

It takes him a second to respond, _Connor is kissing him,_ but Markus quickly recovers and kisses him back, his free hand moving to brush trough Connor’s hair. 

_It feels so right._ Markus moves to deepen the kiss when suddenly Connor moves away.

“Wait,” He says, slightly out of breath. “I just- I just want you to know that I’m not- I’m not just kissing you because you’re most likely the last man on earth. I mean, that’s not- what I mean is-” 

No matter how adorable Connor’s nervous rambling is, Markus takes pity on him and presses another chaste kiss to his moving lips. 

“It’s okay,” He says when he pulls back again. “I like you, too. And not because you’re the last man on earth.” 

Connor ducks his head and laughs, and if that isn’t the most beautiful sound in the world then Markus doesn’t know what is.

“Good to know.” 

Markus still has his hand on the back of Connor’s neck, thumb making slow circles on the exposed skin. “If you don’t mind…” His other hand moves up to the brunet’s chin. “I would _love_ to continue this.”

Connor smiles, not the shy smile Markus has gotten used to, but a large, slightly crooked smile, and he moves forward again.

_I can get used to this,_ Markus thinks as their lips meet for the third time. Connor moves slightly forward and places a hand on Markus’ chest. He hums in agreement and doesn’t realize something is up until he feels Connor place his leg behind his.

One second Connor is kissing him, the next he feels him grins against his lips and the hand on his chest _pushes_. The world turns. Tripping over Connor’s cleverly placed leg he falls backwards, the water closing above his head for a moment.

He emerges again, couching up water, and Connor stands over him, his face pulled in a smug grin. 

“That’s for pulling me in the water, jerk.”

There is no venom behind his words, and Markus chuckles. _Fair enough_. “You just had to ruin the moment, didn’t you?”

Connor shrugs innocently, eyes twinkling with mischief. “You started it.” He lets himself sink back into the water and swims backwards, eyes still on Markus. “But hey, we can continue the moment.” Connor winks. “If you can catch me.” 

_You little shit. _

Markus grins and jumps back into the deeper water, swimming after Connor who quickly starts to get away. _Not for long._

They swim like that for some time, Markus trying to catch up with Connor, who is annoyingly hard to catch. The dark-skinned man is faster, but Connor manages to slip out of his grasp every time, manoeuvring his slender body around Markus and laughing when he gets away again.

It is absolutely endearing, and _fuck_, but Markus has fallen hard.

Eventually he manages to grab Connor’s wrist and pull him against his chest.

“Hi.” Connor still has that little smile on his face, way too pleased with himself. 

Markus still smiles back, completely forgetting about the dead world around them. “Yeah, hi. I got you.”

“Hmmhmm.” Connor agrees, intertwining his fingers behinds Markus’ neck. “What are you going to do with me now?”

Connor’s smooth voice sends a rush of blood to Markus’s cheeks, and he is too caught up in the moment to point out how ridiculously cliché that line is. Instead he lets go of Connor’s wrist, and places his hands at the other’s sides. “I can think of a few things…” He doesn’t imagine the shudder that goes through Connor’s body, and leans forwards to press his mouth against the brunet’s again.

Markus has no idea how long they stay there, in the middle of the lake, simply relishing in each other, making out like teenagers. It’s long enough for them to start shivering, and after they’re both out of breath Connor reluctantly suggests they should head back to the dock.

Markus climbs out first, holding his hand out to help Connor climb back up. Realizing they have nothing to dry off with, they decide to lay on the warm wood for a while, letting the sun dry their skins.  
Markus stares up at the blue sky, his hand loosely tracing invisible patterns on Connor’s wrist. He exhales, and turns his head to look at Connor, who is laying with his eyes closed, enjoying the late afternoon sun.

Markus smiles, and for the first time in a long while he feels happy.

* * *

Markus is reluctant to move again, completely comfortable on the hard wood next to his… boyfriend? but after Connor made the solid point they should find shelter before it got dark, Markus decided to get up anyway.

They move once they got dressed, and walk back to the path, holding hands all the way. 

There are a few hours of sunlight left, but as the shadows started to become longer and darker Markus feared they wouldn’t be able to find any place to stay. He is proved right as they have to spend the night outside, taking turns keeping watch while the other sleeps on the damp forest grounds. It isn’t anything Markus wasn’t used to, and neither was Connor. 

They spend their time on the road talking, smiling and even laughing. Markus feels completely comfortable the entire time, constantly reaching out to take Connor’s hand, just to assure himself that this is real, that they’re still alive. Every time he does Connor smiles, and grips back.

After a day they managed to find the main road again, and after two more they find themselves in front of a small town. It is big enough to contain walkers, but it should be relatively safe to enter.  
“Perhaps we will find a car here.” Markus says as they enter the town. Connor scoffs. “Not likely. Most of the residents must have fled, if they didn’t they’d be dead. Even if that was the case and they left their car, the odds that someone else has found it before us are extremely high.”

Markus is used to Connor ‘s calculative nature, he had noticed it from the start. He might sound cold and detached but Markus knows he is simply analysing the situation the determine the best approach. Markus is grateful for Connor’s abilities, he realized he needs someone to keep him down to earth sometimes, to keep him from making plans that are too absurd. That being said, Connor could use someone to teach him to be a little more open minded. Good thing Markus is here.

“I’m just being positive, Connor.”

“And I’m being realistic, _Markus._”

“Tell you what,” Markus offers. “I bet we’ll find a car today. _A working car._”

Connor shakes his head. “Sure. And I’ll find a working shower, okay?”

“Shush.” Markus swats Connor’s arm. “Let me be positive.” 

Connor throws his hands up in surrender, amusement clear in his eyes. “Alright, whatever you say. But don’t come crying to me when you don’t find anything.”

Markus puts on his best sad puppy face, which honestly isn’t all that good, but he tries anyway. “But where else can I go to, Con?”

Connor’s eyebrows shoot up at the nickname, but he doesn’t acknowledge it any further, apart from the tiny smile he obviously tries to hide. Markus smiles too, the happy feeling that has been lingering in his chest for days only growing stronger. He feels so good around Connor, it’s almost like a drug, he can’t get enough. He wants to spend as much time together as possible.

Good thing all they have is time.

Time, and Markus’s ridicules plan to drive them forwards. 

The first houses are mostly empty, and they search them without any trouble, but as they approach the center it becomes clear just how many walkers are wandering around the town. 

They’ve reached the town square and are hunched behind an overgrown bush to avoid being spotted by at least forty walkers which are huddled together. A sign has broken off and with every blow of wind it ticks against the wall, keeping the walkers in the area interested.

“We better avoid them.” Markus says quietly, overlooking the horde. “There’s enough of them to cause some real trouble.”

Connor nods. “This place is big enough. We’ll just stick to the calmer parts, but we still have to be cautious.”

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s go before they spot us.”

Leaving the horde behind they head for the quieter streets. They aren’t completely deserted, but the two slow walkers they encounter are no match for Connor’s knife. 

They have been searching houses for about two hours when Markus finds it. 

They walk up to another house, and Connor goes to look at the shed while Markus walks towards the house. He finds the door locked, and normally he would bust a window, but there are walkers around so he’d rather stay quiet.

That is how Markus finds himself walking towards the garage door. For some odd reason the door is unlocked, and he lets it roll up. His mouth falls open as he sees what’s inside.

It’s a car. 

A simple, old, grey car. But a car nonetheless.

Markus walks forward, hand gliding over the hood, and he tests the door. It’s unlocked. Why would it just sit here?

There are no keys in the ignition, and Markus looks around. Maybe… no, they wouldn’t be so lucky. Would they? He moves his hand up to the visor and flips it down.

Nothing.

Sighing, Markus closes the door again and walks outside, seeing Connor heading his way. The older man leans against the wall, crosses his arms and grins.

“Guess what I found.”

Connor completely ignores his smug stance, letting his arms slide around Markus’ waist and pressing a small kiss to his lips. “What?”

Markus happily kisses him back, letting his hands slide over Connor’s arms, and he takes his hand. “Come on,” He unwinds himself from Connor’s arms, albeit reluctantly. “I’ll show you.” 

He leads Connor into the garage, and steps aside. Connor looks around, his face painted with surprise and excitement. “Shit.” He turns to Markus. “Does it work?”

Markus shrugs. “There are no keys.”

Connor’s eyes scan the garage with that calculating look in them that Markus has come to love, and he walks forward towards a small cabinet.

Markus stays at his place, next to the door, and watches Connor work, searching through several places before rising with a grin, holding up a keychain.

“Let’s see if this thing works.”

Connor tosses the keys to Markus, who catches them with ease and walks over to the car once more. The first two keys are probably for the house, and Markus ignores them. The third looks like it might fit, and Markus puts it in the ignition.

It fits.

He looks up at Connor, who is leaning against the open door. “Here goes nothing.”

Markus turns the key once. The dashboard lights come on.

Holding his breath, he turns it once more.

The car starts.

* * *

The sound of the engine starting is like music to Connor’s ears, and the wave of emotion that rushes through his body produces a wide smile on his face.

_They found a car._

Markus looks up at him, smug smile on his face. “Told you we’d find a car.” 

Connor shakes his head, too excited to be annoyed. “Yeah, you’re a real psychic. Now get out.” He takes Markus hand and pulls him out of the car, Markus immediately wraps his arms around Connor.

“We’re going to Denver.” Markus’ face is so close Connor can feel his breath on his lips, both of them grinning like idiots. 

“It’s still a stupid plan.” Markus never breaks eye contact, and Connor doesn’t think he can ever get enough of how intense his gaze is, how beautiful his eyes are. 

Markus hums, and lets his hand travel up Connor’s back, causing him to shiver slightly, and he finds himself wanting _more_, being _closer,_ not for the first time. “But we’re doing it anyway.”

The heterochromatic man leans forward and presses their mouths together. Connor wastes no time pulling him closer, folding his hands together behind Markus’ neck.

When they pull apart again both of them are still smiling, seemingly caught in a bubble of happiness and excitement. 

“Why don’t we go check this house,” Markus says. “and stay here for the rest of the day. We can go drive first thing in the morning.”

“Alright.” Connor agrees, getting lost in the feeling of Markus’ hands on his body, and it takes all his self-control to pull away. “Let’s go.”

Now equipped with the keychain they manage to get into the house without trouble. Markus goes to search the ground floor while Connor moves to walk upstairs.

The house isn’t exactly large, Connor finds two bedrooms and a bathroom. He decides to search the bathroom first. He manages to find some antibiotics in a cabinet, which is a real treasure. When he closes it again his gaze remains stuck on his reflection. 

Connor takes a moment to stare at his face, which seems so different from how it had looked all this time.

He looks happy.

His thoughts travel to Markus, and he watches as the most lovestruck expression slides over his face. Shaking his head at himself he turns away from the mirror and exits the bathroom. He is so hopelessly in love, Connor can’t believe how incredibly lucky he had gotten.

He had been alone, and unwilling to let anyone come near him in his fear. And then Markus had looked at the gun pointed at his face and _talked _to him, and Connor decided to take a leap of faith.

In this empty, destroyed world they had found each other, or Markus had found him, and Connor wonders what he did to deserve this. To deserve someone who cares for him, who is willing to fight for him, who wants to be with him.

Maybe, Connor thinks, maybe this, this feeling, this connection with Markus, is what Hank wanted for him when he chose to grab that gun. 

Connor hopes his dad is proud of him.

Before he can get_ too_ lost in thoughts Connor enters the final bedroom, quickly scanning through the closet, which contains nothing but clothes. He moves on to the bedside table, opening the first cabinet. 

Nothing but a few papers and an old book. The second is more of the same, and the third… 

_Oh._

There, in the half-opened drawer lies a packet of condoms, and Connor’s mind just blanks. 

It blanks for a few seconds before all kinds of thoughts enter his mind and he has to take a deep breath to stop himself.

_It has been so long…_

Would it be too forward to just grab Markus and throw him on the bed? Okay no, he really can’t do that. It would be too fast. They have met a little over a week ago, it would incredibly inappropriate to just…

_Would it, though?_

They have just met, but Connor cannot live without Markus anymore. Every time Markus releases his hand after grabbing it felt like a loss, and it feels so good, so right when they’re holding each other. Every second they spend together, talking or touching or fighting or doing whatever, Connor feels good. 

He knows he wants it. He reaches for the pack, and spots something else in the drawer. 

It’s a small unopened bottle of lube.

Okay, _okay._

Fuck it. Literally. Connor grabs the condoms and makes his way back to the stairs. 

*

Markus is standing at the bottom, seemingly just about to go look for Connor, and the brunet freezes, hiding the pack behind his back.

Markus looks up at him, and apparently Connor’s face looks suspicious, because the older man immediately looks cautious, squinting his eyes.

“What?”

Connor bites his lip, trying his hardest not to blush, and takes what he hopes is a casual stance. “Catch.”

He tosses the pack down the stairs and Markus manages to catch it, although he nearly trips on the stairs.

“I found it in the bedroom.” Connor says, hoping that maybe if he keeps talking the nerves in his stomach will settle down.

They don’t.

Markus looks back up at him, eyebrows raised. “Did you now?”

Connor says nothing, simply stares at Markus as he makes his way up the stairs until he is right in front of him.

“And what, exactly,” Markus grabs Connor’s waist and pulls him closer. “were you planning on doing with it?”

Markus’ voice is low, and his gaze is so intense it sends a rush of blood right down Connor’s cock. Despite that, Connor feels some sort of control coming back to him. This is Markus, the same Markus that has been with him all this time. He doesn’t need to be nervous.

“Well,” Connor says, putting his own hands on Markus’ back, feeling the muscles underneath his shirt. “It would be a waste of recourses not to use it.”

Markus hums in agreement, the air is no longer filled with the excitement of before, but with something completely else. Connor shivers as Markus’ leans forward, placing a row of soft kisses down his neck. “It definitely would.”

Connor lets his head tilt to the side, exposing his neck for more when Markus’ suddenly pulls back, eyes completely serious as he looks at him. “Are you sure?”

There is that feeling once again, the butterflies in his stomach and a sense of complete _safety_, and Connor can’t help but smile, lifting one hand and letting his thumb trace Markus’ cheek. He feels warm, safe, happy, and it would be a lie to say he had not been fantasizing about this. So…

“Yes, I am sure.” Connor leaned forward, capturing Markus’ mouth in a searing kiss. “But only if you are, too.” 

Markus grins, letting his hands trail off to Connor’s ass. “Oh, trust me,” He kisses him once again. “I am.”

They move to the bedroom, touching and kissing all the way. Markus kicks the door shut behind them, and moves to kiss Connor’s neck again while the brunet lets himself be shoved back onto the mattress.

Connor sucks in a quick breath as Markus puts his hands underneath his shirt, and he feels him grin against his throat. He thinks back to the lake, how Markus’s body had looked in the sunlight, with water dipping off of his muscles, and Connor moves his hands to the other’s shirt, pulling at the hem.

“Okay,” He breathes, voice slightly strained because Markus was still sucking and biting at his neck. “This needs to go. Now.”

Markus pulls back, and lets Connor lift his shirt of him, shivering as Connor’s hands start to explore his chest, but still managing to look smug. “I think we should settle the score then.” Markus reaches down, helping Connor out of his shirt.

Their shoes are the next to go, although somewhat clumsy, and they both have to laugh. Connor can’t remember a time he felt so at ease with someone, and he is completely relaxed as he lets himself fall back on the mattress, letting Markus climb over him.

Markus once again moves to explore Connor’s body with his mouth, this time moving down, down, further down, leaving a trail of soft kisses behind, until he settles on Connor’s stomach, hand fumbling with his belt. 

Connor is perfectly content to just lie there, let Markus do as he pleases, body nearly shaking with arousal and anticipation. Despite that, it would a complete waste to do nothing, so after Markus relieves them both of their pants he pulls him back up, capturing Markus’ mouth with his own. 

They stay like that for a few seconds, their kiss getting messier as they both get caught up in the moment. Connor lets his hand trail downwards, and Markus moans as he brushes over the bulge in his underwear.

Deciding that the annoying fabric need to go, Connor pushes Markus’ underwear down, and starts stroking his length.

“_Oh, fuck._” Markus pulls back, panting. “Shit, Connor… Wait.” He takes Connor’s hand, and pulls it back up. “How do you want to do this?”

Connor rubs his hips forward, desperate for some friction. “I’ve wanted you inside me since that lake.”

Okay, he did not mean for that to sound so desperate. But as he lifts his hips to let Markus remove his underwear Connor finds that he doesn’t really care.

He reaches over to the nightstand, letting out an unexpected moan as Markus strokes his already hard cock. “Markus…”

He still manages to grab the bottle of lube, and presses it to Markus’ hand. “Lots of lube. It’s been a while.”

Markus hums, taking the bottle. “Are you sure this is not expired?”

“What?” _Oh right._ “Fuck, I don’t know.”

Markus stops touching Connor to study the bottle for a moment, and Connor sighs, letting his head fall back on the pillows, watching Markus. _How the hell did I get here? _Connor wonders for a moment, admiring the other man’s body.

Markus eyes meet his again, and he grins. “We should be fine. Still sure?”

“If you ask me that one more time, I swear to God…” Connor begins, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, and he gasps as he feels Markus’ hand at his entrance.

Adding a bit more lube Markus slowly pushes one finger inside, and Connor can do nothing but lie there, trying to breath, one hand clenching around the sheets. It really has been a long time.  
He moans as Markus moves, adding another finger. “Still good?”

“Yes, _fuck,_ Markus, please.”

Markus strokes his cock once more while still moving his fingers, making Connor’s hips buck up, chasing that touch.

“Fuck Connor, you should see yourself right now…”

Connor puts his fist in his mouth, biting his knuckles to keep quiet when Markus adds a third finger. It feels so good, Connor wishes he could just stay like this forever, in this bliss, not thinking about anything but Markus’ hands on him, _in him._

But all too soon Connor needs more. “It’s enough. It’s- fuck I need you.”

Markus retreats his fingers, and moves back to kiss Connor again. “So eager,” He takes the condoms that ended up somewhere on the bed and manages to open one while still kissing Connor. “when did that happen?”

“Your fault.” Connor murmurs, getting lost in Markus’ touch. “Looking like that and all.”

It was said in a rush, without much thought, but Markus still looks down, smiling softly. “I haven’t got nothing on you. God, look at you.”

Connor can’t help but smile at the compliment, feeling completely and utterly at ease. Before they can get too sappy though, Markus pushes the condom over his hard cock and moves back a little, until Connor feels the tip at his entrance.

“Ready?” Markus stares at him, heterochromatic eyes shining and beautiful and fuck but Connor is so, so lost, and all he can manage is a sharp nod. 

Markus starts to push in, and Connor can’t do anything but try to relax, digging his nails in Markus’ back. The older man puts his hand at his neck, thumb rubbing circles on his neck, distracting Connor as he slowly pushes further.

Connor is grateful for how gentle and caring Markus is. Is feels _so good,_ but shit, it has been a long time and Markus isn’t exactly small either.

“Good?” Markus asks when he is fully seated inside Connor, body shaking slightly. 

It takes Connor a moment to catch his breath. “Just… gimme a moment…” He tries to relax, but _shit_ it is hard. Thankfully Markus is Markus, and he leans forward, softly kissing Connor again, gentle but heated, and Connor manages to relax his muscles.

“Okay fuck, move, please.” 

Markus wastes no time, setting a slow pace, making Connor moan. 

It doesn’t take long before Markus speeds up, filling the room with nothing but their moans and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, both of them still trying to keep quiet, not wanting anything to interrupt them.

“Fuck, yes.” It becomes harder and harder for Connor to keep quiet, cock slapping against his stomach with every thrust. “Oh shit, Markus, right there.”

Connor moves his legs, wrapping them around Markus’ back, pushing him deeper, wanting him to hit that spot again, and again, and again _please…_

“_Shit_, Connor…” Markus moans, deep and beautiful and hot, and he leans forwards, teeth digging in Connor’s neck, and _fuck_ that feels good.

“Markus, Markus, I’m close, Markus.” Everything becomes that feeling, that building knot in his stomach, and Connor can’t do anything but repeat Markus’ name as a mantra, wrapping his legs tighter around him.

“Same here.” Markus promises, moving one hand to stroke Connor’s cock, keeping up with the pace he has set, and that is enough for Connor to lose it.

He throws his head back, muscles tightening around Markus when finally, _finally,_ that knot releases, and he spills all over his stomach, Markus’ name on his lips.

It doesn’t take long for Markus to finish as well, his pace stuttering as he rides Connor through his orgasm, before cumming inside him, moaning Connor’s name. Markus collapses on Connor with an _oof, _both of them panting, sweating bodies pressed together.

Connor is the first one to move, slightly pushing at Markus’ chest. “You’re heavy.”

“Sorry.” Markus murmurs before pushing himself back up and pulling out. He kisses Connor’s forehead and walks away, leaving the others to lie on the bed as he disposes of the condom. Connor can hear him rummaging in the other room, and when Markus returns he is holding a towel.

“There is no water, but this should be fine.”

Connor lays back again, completely content to let Markus work and clean him up. “So you’re a gentleman as well? How did I get so lucky?” The question is light, Connor is completely fucked out, happily laying on the bed as Markus finishes up and moves to lay next to him.

“Only for you, love.” He pecks Connor’s lips.

“There is no one else around.” 

“Did I ever tell you you’re good at ruining the moment?”

Connor smiles, and presses himself to Markus’ chest. “Yeah well… You love me for it.”

Markus hums and pulls him closer. “I do.”

He says it so lightly, so easy, as if it is given, as if it’s obvious. Neither of them acknowledges the words, but Connor’s heart is hammering in his chest. He isn’t sure what to say, if Markus meant it that way, if he expects anything back.

Turns out, Markus doesn’t expect him to say anything. He simply pulls the thin sheets over their naked bodies, and wraps his arms around Connor.

“You know,” He mumbles in Connor’s hair. “I could use that working shower now.” 

Connor chuckles, his eyes becoming heavier as he comes down from his high. “We already found a car. Don’t push our luck.”

Markus sighs. “Of course not. Wouldn’t want to jinx this.” His hand finds its way to Connor’s hair, and he lets his fingers slide through it.

“How is your hair so soft?”

Connor’s eyes are slipping closed at the sensation of Markus’ fingers in his hair, no longer seeing the last rays of sunlight that made their way into the room. 

“I dunno…”

Markus continues his ministrations, and Connor can literally hear his smile. “Guess we should go to sleep, huh? Big day tomorrow.”

Connor hums, nuzzling his face into Markus’ neck. 

Markus presses a kiss to his hair. “Goodnight, Connor.”

“G’night, Markus.”

Connor reveals in Markus’ warmth, and lets his dreams take him away.

* * *

He wakes because of the light. Markus is still laying next to him, although a bit further away. _Too far._

Squinting his eyes at the light, Connor groans and buries his head in his pillow, so not ready to get up. They should’ve closed the curtains, leaving first thing in the morning be damned.

Apparently Markus is already awake, as he turns to look at Connor. “Good morning.” His voice is still heavy with sleep, which is super sexy, according to Connor.

“Hi.” Connor mumbles, face still pressed in the pillow.

He can hear Markus scoot closer, and soon enough two strong hands pull Connor against a broad chest. “Sleep well?” Markus’ voice is soft, not wanting to disturb the peace of the morning.

Connor nods, moving his head upward to press a kiss against Markus’ jaw. “When did you wake up?”

“Not that long ago.” Markus moves his hand, taking Connor’s in his own and intertwining their fingers. “When the sun started rising.”

Connor lets his eyes flutter close, simply lying there, not ready to exit the calm bubble they find themselves in, memories of last night making him smile softly.

They lie there for a moment, warm and happy, nothing matters apart from their world that reaches no further than the bedroom walls. Connor could have easily fallen back asleep, if it wasn’t for the walker that decides to growl loudly outside.

“I think that’s our cue.” Markus starts to untangle their limbs and rolls away from Connor. 

The brunet disagrees though, and he quickly rolls around too, grasping Markus’ writs. “No, stay.” He doesn’t want to get up. It feels as if getting up would mean changing everything. They would get into that car and drive as far as the can. They don’t know what they’ll encounter in Denver, or if they’ll even get there. Maybe they just get stuck on the road, in the middle of nowhere.

In here though, in this bedroom, with nothing but him, Markus and a comfy bed Connor feels good. He knows what to expect here, in here it is good. He doesn’t want to get up.

“Connor,” Unfortunately Markus has different ideas. “We have to get up at some point. And I’d rather have as much daylight as possible.”

Why does Markus have to be so reasonable? Things would be so much better if he just said; ‘you’re right, lets stay in bed today and fuck until we both can’t walk anymore.’

But he doesn’t do that, just keeps staring at Connor, and he gives in. “Fine, give me a moment, I’m still sore.”

That makes Markus smile, and Connor’s repulsion vanishes like a puff of smoke. “I’ll carry you, if you want.” He winks.

Connor shakes his head, blushing, and slowly pushes himself up, trying to locate all of his clothes that are scattered around the bed.

After they both got dressed Connor picks up his backpack and puts the condoms and lube in it. When he looks up Markus is staring at him, smirk on his face.  
“Come on,” Markus extends his hand. “Let’s go downstairs, I’ll make you breakfast.”

As they make their way downstairs, the growling becomes louder, and Connor realizes it isn’t just one walker. Something feels off.

Catching a glimpse outside through a window, he realizes why. The entire street is packed with walkers, there are so many Connor can’t see where the horde ends.

Acting quickly he pulls Markus down, and they squad behind a closet in front of the staircase. Markus looks at Connor with question in his eyes before spotting the horde as well. In a few seconds the calm morning has turned into a dangerous situation, and Connor needs to think of something, before they’re spotted.

Markus moves down again. “Shit.”

Connor doesn’t understand. “Why are they here? They couldn’t have followed us, we would’ve seen it yesterday.”

Markus’ eyes dart around frantically, checking every window he can see from they’re hiding spot. “Fuck. _Fuck, shit._ What do we do?”

Connor looks around, the growling becomes louder, every nerve in his body is ready to jump and fight. “Let’s check the windows, see if they’re in front of the garage. Maybe there is an opening and we can-”

The sound of a breaking window cuts Connor off, and both of them quickly stand up, pulling their guns. Connor frowns as he spots the broken window, a stone lies in front of it, and walkers start making their way over to them.

Did somebody throw the stone? What-

“Payback, assholes!”

A familiar voice shouts from outside, and Connor looks up, seeing a walker in the horde that stands out. _Gavin._

It’s Gavin, covered in guts from head to toe, remaining undetected by the horde. How did he find them? It’s been days, how did he-

Connor is snapped out of his thoughts as the first walker breaks through the window, tumbling inside, being pushed forward by the next.

“We have to get out of here!” He grabs Markus’ arm and starts rushing back, away from the windows. “You have the keys, get to the garage and start the car! I’ll try to clear a path.”  
Markus looks absolutely stricken with panic. “Connor no, wait-”

There is no _time_, they can’t wait.

“Now!”

He lets go of Markus and pulls his knife in his other hand, making his way to the front door as quickly as he can, trusting Markus to stay safe. 

He reaches the door, and takes a deep breath before opening it, immediately closing it behind him to trap the other walkers in the house.

There are dozens of walkers on the street, spotting him and starting to make their way over to him. They are slow, but Connor is surrounded, and there are too many of them to fight off.  
So he runs. 

To the left, luring them away from the garage, striking the ones that get too close with his knife and clearing a path for himself with his gun.

One shot, two, three.

Two bullets left, apart from the gun in his bag, but there is no time to get it. _Where is Gavin? Is he still here? Is that woman with him?_

Panic makes his way through Connor’s body, adrenaline pushing him forwards, making him strike one walker and quickly pulling his knife back to strike the next, dodging one from his right only to be confronted with another as he turns. He gets covered in blood, but he keeps going, keep fighting.

_There’s too many of them._

He turns away once again, firing at a walker that nearly grabs his arm, and runs towards an opening. _One bullet._

He jumps to the side, _where is Markus?_ Nearly tripping as a crawling walker grabs for his legs. He can’t keep this up for much longer.

Suddenly the garage door rolls open, and the grey cars rides outside, drawing the attention of a few walkers.

Relief floods through Connor._Okay,_ all he has to do now is make his way towards Markus, get in the car and they-

A flaming pain erupts from his side, and Connor yelps, firing at a bald walker that is holding his shirt. 

_Oh shit._

A gunshot rings out, and another walker falls next to him. She must’ve been coming from behind, and Markus, who is standing next to the car with his gun in his outstretched arms yells at him.  
Snapped out of his daze Connor runs again, nearly avoiding walkers, getting cover fire from Markus all the way.

“Get in the car!” He shouts at Markus as he run towards the other side, opening the door and quickly jumping in.

Markus does the same, and starts the car immediately, racing away as the first walkers reach the backside of the car.

In the next panic filled seconds Markus manoeuvres the car around several walkers, hitting only one, causing a crack to appear in the windshield.

“Are you okay?” Markus asks breathless, eyes glued to the road, turning left and right to get out.

“Gets us out of here.” Connor all but yells, glancing down at his side, where a dark spot is staring to seep into his shirt. A whole new sort of panic rushes over him, and he presses his hand to the mark.  
“Fuck, that was close. Was that Gavin? What the hell…” Markus rambles as they drive out of the town, leaving the walkers behind them.

Connor feels a lump building in his throat.

“Markus…”

“How did we even make it out? There were so many…”

“Markus.”

“You shouldn’t have just ran off, I was scared to death, Connor. Please, for my sanity, never-”

“Markus!” Connor slightly raises his voice, finally causing Markus to stop his adrenaline filled rambling.

“Sorry, I- yes? What is it?”

Connor closes his eyes, fighting hard to keep the tears who have been building there contained, and removes his hand.

“I got bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, but later than expected but I hope you can forgive me, it turned out extra long :)  
Ehhhm so that was a lot of progression, I hope you all liked it, I really struggled with some parts here. Oh and the ending is just neat isn’t it?  
Feedback is really appreciated, so if you have a few minutes please consider leaving me a comment :)
> 
> I also forgot to link this, [@rk1kmoods ](https://rk1kmoods.tumblr.com/)on Tumblr made this amazing mood board for me, check it out [here!](https://rk1kmoods.tumblr.com/post/185951525264/hey-i-know-you-did-it-like-three-times-or)
> 
> I hope to have to next chapter finished by next week, it shouldn’t be as long as this one but you never know.  
That’s all for now, see you next time!


	5. I'm so sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're on the road, there is pain, there is despare. I have tissues if you need to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life isn't always what you think it'd be  
Turn your head for one second and the tables turn
> 
> -[I'm so sorry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0gddT_DDzQ), Imagine Dragons

It hurts.

_Jesus fucking Christ but it hurts._

The wound is pulsating, still bleeding no matter how much pressure Connor puts on it. But he knows this feeling, the feeling of your skin being ripped open, of blood oozing out, slipping between his fingers.

What Connor isn’t familiar with, however, is the burning that accompanies the sting this time, the virus that is slowly making its way through his body.

But no matter how much it throbs and burns, the absolute devastated expression on Markus’ face hurts a thousand times more.

The older man keeps his gaze straight on the road, getting them as far away from the horde as possible, doesn’t dare to glance over at Connor, doesn’t dare to confirm what they both know is true.

_I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. _

It only takes a few seconds for Markus to gather his bearings and start talking again. 

“We-” he swallows. “We need to treat the wound. J-just let me get a bit further. Away from the horde. Just a bit further.”

Connor doesn’t say anything. He wants to argue, tell Markus it’s not worth it, he is… he is going to die. 

_He’s going to die. _

Closing his eyes, Connor leans back in the chair, breath hitching in his throat. He is _scared. _

They drive for a few more minutes before Markus stops the car, not bothering to put it on the side of the road. Connor opens his eyes, it seems like there are no walkers around, but the sound will attract them anyway. They don’t have much time.

Markus gets out of the car, fishes his bag from the backseat, and makes his way over to Connor’s side, opening the door. “Can you stand? Come on let me-” Putting his hand on Connor’s shoulder, he helps him out of the car, and the brunet has to grit his teeth against the pain flaring from his side. 

After Markus helps Connor lay down on the hard road, he moves to his bag, grabbing the first-aid kit and a water bottle out of it. It’s only when Markus moves back over to him that Connor notices how bad the other man’s hands are shaking. 

“Lay down, try to relax.” Markus says, gently removing Connor’s hand from his wound and lifting his shirt. 

The bite isn’t deep, but it is bleeding, and Connor can clearly make out the teeth marks on his skin. His stomach turns and he inhales sharply.

“Don’t look at it.” Markus commands, his tone is calm, reassuring, but Connor can still hear the barely contained panic underneath. “Just lay down, okay? I can- I can fix this.”

It’s when Markus reaches over to grab the water bottle that Connor decides to stop this.

“Markus…” He pushes himself up on his elbows, hard gravel digging into his skin. “Just stop. Don’t waste it.” 

Markus keeps his head down for a moment, one hand already clasped on the lid. “Don’t waste it?” He lifts his head, eyes meeting Connor’s, and the brunet feels his guilt roaring inside him as Markus’ tears finally spill over. “Are you kidding me?” 

Markus’s voice is shaking, and Connor can easily see how much this is killing him, but he can’t let Markus use all their valuable supplies on him. Not when it doesn’t matter anymore. 

“You know what it does.” Connor’s own voice is shaking just as badly, but he won’t let his tears fall. “It doesn’t matter what you do, you know that. It will only get worse, it- it already hurts like hell, I don’t-” Connor takes a deep breath, looking away from Markus’ gaze. “We should stop it now. Now I can still think for myself.”

He doesn’t dare to look up, doesn’t want to see the emotions on Markus’ face. 

“Connor…” Markus begins, moving one hand to apply pressure on the wound again, the other to turn Connor’s head, making him look at those beautiful heterochromatic eyes, now filled with torment. “I know. Okay? I know. I know what it does, I know what is going to happen. But-” A shudder runs through his body. “We can still do this. We have the car, we have antibiotics. You can make it to Denver, we’ll get help. We will. We _have_ to.” Markus’ gaze is burning, his tears hurting Connor more than the pressure on his wound, and he doesn’t dare to interrupt. “Let me save you.”

Connor wants to argue, want to tell Markus there isn’t enough gas, there is nothing in Denver, the pain will become too much, he will succumb to the fever before they’ll get there, tell him there isn’t enough time. But there is hope in Markus’ eyes, enough to push aside the anguish, the terror and the pain, and fuck, but Connor can’t take that away.

So he swallows, doesn’t tell Markus any of those things, doesn’t tell him how scared he is. Instead he nods, and moves to lay down again, preparing for the pain that will come.

“Okay.” Markus whispers, running one hand through Connor’s hair, down to his shoulder and giving it a squeeze before moving back to the task at hand. “Try to be quiet, okay? I’ll be quick.” He removes the lid of the bottle, and proceeds to carefully pour water over the wound.

The pain is immediate, the sting of it making Connor’s back arch up, and a whine escapes through his clenched teeth as he desperately bites back a scream. _Stop stop stop stop. _

Markus gently shushes him, having slipped into his role of the nurse he would have been, had the world not perished. “It’s okay, you’re doing great Connor. Just a little more.” 

Connor’s hands clench at his sides, his breath speeding up as he stares at the blue sky, trying to focus on anything else but the pain. 

Markus continues to run water over the wound, cleaning out most of the filth and bacteria, but it does nothing to stop the virus that already runs through Connor’s veins. Soon enough the bottle is empty, and Markus moves to carefully wipe away any debris that is left around the edges.

Connor tries to get his breathing back under control. “Y-you would have been a great nurse.” He tries to smile, looking up at the other’s concentrated face.

The tiniest smile appears on Markus’s lips, and although it is a sad one, it still feels like an accomplishment.

When the heterochromatic man is satisfied with his work he moves over to the first-aid kit, taking out a tube and smearing the contents on the still bleeding wound, immediately pressing some dry gauze after. 

Connor’s face screws up, and he sucks in a sharp breath through his clenched teeth. Markus reaches out, taking his hand and placing it on the gauze patch. “Keep pressure on it, okay? I know it hurts, but you’re doing great. We’re almost done.”

Doing what he’s told, Connor waits until Markus removes his hand again, letting it fall limply at his side. He closes his eyes as his boyfriend starts wrapping a bandage over the gauze, and Connor can’t help but feel regret at how much Markus is using. 

Markus finishes the bandage, ties it together and puts the supplies back into his bag, hoisting it over his shoulder before helping Connor up. 

His side feels better now that the wound has been treated, but as Connor stands back up pain erupts from his side, and he buries his face into Markus’ neck, swallowing a scream. 

The hands around him tighten, and Connor draws comfort out of the firm grasp, the steady circles Markus is rubbing on his back.

Together they make their way over to the car, and Connor slides back in the passenger seat, sighing in relief as some of the strain is removed from his side. As Markus steps into the other side again, Connor speaks up.

“Whatever happens,” He starts. “no matter how this ends, don’t let me become one of them.” Connor doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to leave Markus, doesn’t want to stop now that he just began living again. But the thought of his mind ripped away from his body, becoming something that isn’t him, something that has no consciousness and that won’t recognize anyone, that thought terrifies him to the core. 

No one knows if the walkers are still conscious, if the person they were is still somewhere in there, and Connor doesn’t want to find out. When he dies, he wants to stay dead.

Markus looks at him, tears no longer falling from his eyes, but the haunted look is still there. Still, he looks sincere, and reaches over to grab Connor’s hand. 

“I won’t.” He promises. “No matter what happens, I won’t let you turn. I promise.” He leans forward, pressing his lips to Connor’s, and the brunet leans in, gratefully accepting Markus’ words. 

They pull apart, Markus’ hand resting on Connor’s cheek, and for a moment they just stare at each other, their fear and hopelessness pressing down on them. Then, Markus smiles, it never reaches his eyes, but Connor can feel his hope, even if he doesn’t believe it himself.

He will hold on, for Markus.

“Alright,” Markus pulls back and starts the car, ignoring a walker that is slowly moving towards them. “Let’s go to Denver.”

* * *

He starts feeling worse as time passes by.

Using a map Connor found in the glove compartment they managed to locate themselves and find the highway leading to Denver. Seventeen hours to go. Eighteen if they want to avoid Chicago, which they do.

Connor is leaning his head against the window, his breath condensing against the cold glass, leaving a white mark behind before disappearing again.

He feels like shit.

He never got motion sick, but Connor imagines this is what it must feel like. He is lightheaded, and there is a constant pressure in the back of his throat, making him feel like he is about to throw up. He keeps as still as he can, afraid movement will cause him to do just that. His eyes feel heavy, but closing them only results in a light show behind his closed lids, which only makes him more nauseous. His lips are cracked and he is thirsty, but he doesn’t tell Markus, doesn’t want to waste any more resources.

Every bump in the road jostles his injury. At first he was able to bite back his groans, but after letting one slip out Markus reached over and held his hand, and Connor had felt a little better. 

He is still trying to keep silent, not wanting to worry Markus any further.

Connor guesses they’ve been driving for about six hours when Markus stops the car. He lifts his head from the window, blinking slowly. “Why are we stopping?”

Markus sigs and turns off the engine. “We’re almost out of gas. We just passed a few wrecked cars, they might have some left in the tank.”

“Okay.” Connor unbuckles his seatbelt and moves to open his door. 

“Hey, wait.” Markus grabs his wrist. “What are you doing?”

Connor frowns. “I’m going to help you?”

“Oh no, absolutely not.” Releasing Connor again, Markus looks him straight in the eye. “You stay in the car.”

Yes, Connor would like that. Just lean back and enjoy the silence for a while, now that the car is not moving. But letting Markus go outside without backup, when their vehicle has been making a shit ton of noise? Absolutely not.

Connor straightens his back, and looks right back at Markus. “I’m going to help you.” 

And with that he turns and exits the car. He can hear Markus swear as he gets out on his end, and for a moment Connor lets the door support his weight as black spots dance before his eyes.

It’s okay, he just got up too fast. It’s fine.

“Connor.” Markus hisses, walking around the car. “_You’re sick_. Get back in the car, you need rest.”

“_What I need_,” Connor throws back, “is to know that you’re safe. Wasn’t it you who said you need someone to watch your back? I’m not dead yet, and I’m going to give you backup.”

Markus expression is a mix of utter confusion, worry and annoyance as he moves a hand over his head. “You can’t be serious.” 

Connor is, in fact, very serious. He doesn’t want to just stand by and watch now that he can still _do something. _ He can be useful, he isn’t obsolete yet. 

“I am.” He starts to walk around Markus, and, to his surprise, the other man lets him. “Let’s check those cars.”

“You’re an idiot.” 

Connor chooses to ignore that statement.

Just when he spots the cars Markus was talking about, his head starts to buzz. Connor squeezes his eyes shut for a second, and starts walking faster. If he can just get to the cars he can sit down. He’s fine, he is. He just needs to get to those cars.

He blinks, and suddenly he is on his knees, his head feels like it is filled with cotton, and his entire body buzzes. Behind him Connor can hear Markus shouting his name as he starts running towards him, but Markus shouldn’t worry. _He is fine. _

Stumbling, he gets back to his feet before Markus can reach him, and he takes a few steps. The worlds spins, and the black dots become big enough to cover his entire vision. Connor can feel himself falling, and closes his eyes.

When he opens them again, the side of his head hurts, and the world is moving. There are strong arms around him, and Connor realizes Markus is carrying him. 

“Wha… What just happened?” 

Markus looks down at Connor, worry in his eyes, but his expression is soft, albeit a bit annoyed. “You fainted.”

“Oh.”

Connor should walk himself, it’s a few steps back to the car. He can easily walk there, but Markus’ arms feel good around him, and he nuzzles his head into the older man’s chest. He hears Markus sigh.

“Are you ever going to stop being so stubborn?”

“Hmm… no.”

Markus shakes his head, and somehow manages to open to the car door, gently manoeuvring Connor inside onto the backseats. 

“Here.” Markus hands Connor a bottle of water. “Drink some of this, not all at once. Just lay down, and wait for me. I’ll be fine.”

When Markus moves to walk away again, Connor reaches out, a sudden sense of despair washing over him. “No, wait.” 

Markus hesitates, eyes darting between Connor and the road, before he leans down again. “Just stay with me. Please?” 

He doesn’t want to be alone, doesn’t want Markus to find more gas. More gas would mean more driving, more sickness, more movement. He thought it was just the car, thought he was feeling sick because of the movement, but he can’t even walk without fainting.

It’s going to fast, he wants it to stop.

He wants Markus to lay with him, want to press his face into Markus’ broad chest, and he wants to sleep.

Connor can feel tears welling up in his eyes. 

_He wants it all to stop. _ He doesn’t want this to be real. 

“It’s okay.” Markus’ voice snaps him back, and he fights back his tears. “I’ll be right back. Just a few minutes.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to Connor’s forehead. “Just lay down for a bit. I won’t be long.”

Before Connor can protest, Markus shuts the door and walks away. In the silence of the car there is nothing to distract his thoughts anymore, and this time he doesn’t try to stop the tears.

He is so scared.

A soft sob escapes his mouth, and Connor quickly moves his hand to cover it. It feels like all the emotions he has been hiding from Markus suddenly come out, and he cannot stop the next sob that wracks his body.

The despair, pain, fear and guilt are crippling him, pressing him down and leaving him alone and scared. 

He wants Markus to come back.

Fear suddenly gripping him, Connor turns to look out of the back window, whining and falling to his side as the sudden movement sends sparks of pain through his body.

He lays there for a moment, tears streaming down his face, every sob hurting him more as it jostles his side.

_Markus can’t see him like this. _

There is nothing in Denver, Connor knows this. He’s letting Markus hold on because he can’t kill that hope, not when Markus looks at him with that heart-breaking look on his face.

So he lets Markus have that, lets Markus drag him halfway across the country, if that makes it easier for him. No matter how much it hurts Connor. Because Connor is already dead. It’s just a matter of time before his body catches up with that.

All that matters now is Markus.

Taking a few deep breaths Connor forces himself to calm down. He just needs to hold on, make sure Markus will be alright. If he can do that, then dying won’t be so bad. If Markus is alright, then he will be, too.

He spends a few minutes focusing on his breath, blocking out the pain and the sickness, staring at one point in the ceiling, trying to make his head stop spinning.

_Water…_

Connor slowly moves his head, spotting the bottle on the floor. _Shit…_

He doesn’t want to move to pick it up. It’ll only hurt more. So he just lies, starting at the ceiling and waits for Markus to come back, drying his tears with his sleeves.

Worry is just starting to gnaw at his mind as the door opens and Markus’ face fills his vision. Connor smiles in relief.

“I found some gas. It might be enough to get us to Denver.”

Connor sighs, closing his eyes. Markus is here, it’s okay.

“Hey, here.” The brunet opens his eyes again, seeing Markus holding out the water bottle, and he gratefully accepts it.

“Thanks.”

As Markus fills the thank, Connor drinks, and it feels holy. His dry mouth is begging for more, wanting him to just finish the entire bottle, but Connor only drinks half of it before putting it away.

A door opens, and Markus gets in again, starting the car. 

“Hey,” Connor says. “Take a break, you’ve been driving for hours.”

Markus shakes his head, looking back at Connor with reassuring eyes. “I’m fine.” Connor can see the fatigue in his eyes. “I’ll rest in a bit, okay? Just a few more hours.”

Connor is too tired to argue, simply lets his head fall back on the seats, and tries to lay more comfortable. “At least eat something.” He says as Markus drives away. 

“I will.” Markus promises. “Just try to sleep. Don’t worry about me.”

_How can I not? _Connor thinks, but relaxes anyway.

Trusting Markus to keep them safe, Connor closes his eyes and waits for sleep to take him away.

* * *

The road to Denver is agonizing.

Markus had finally thought things were going right for him. That finally, luck was on his side. He found Connor, he found happiness, they made good memories, they kissed, they found a car, _they were happy. _

He should have known it was too good to be true.

The worst part is that everything is his fault. 

_He _needed to go to Denver, _he_ provoked Gavin, _he _wanted to let them live, _he _told Connor not to kill them.

He was so naïve, thinking he was doing the right thing, not wanting to be like them. Thinking he could afford to be so weak in this world.

He was stupid, and now Connor is paying the price.

Markus’ hands are clenched around the steering wheel, and he keeps his eyes on the road ahead, but every few seconds he glances in the rear-view mirror, checking on the sleeping man on the backseats.

Connor is going to die.

Markus knows what a bite does, he has seen it first-hand. There is nothing you can do about it. No matter how much medicine you have, how many bandages and antibiotics, the fever will eventually become too high, and then it’s over. 

Until you come back.

Markus lets out a shuddering breath, remembering Connor’s desperate eyes as he pleaded; “Don’t let me become one of them.”

That is the one certainty Markus has right now, one thing he can promise Connor. No matter what happens, he won’t let him turn. 

But it won’t come that far. There is still time, there is still hope.

Markus knows he is clinging to strings, he knows how small the odds are, but there is a chance. A slight chance that there is a solution, a miracle cure at the end of road. He just needs to find it.

It has been a few hours since they stopped for gas, and Connor is still sleeping, now and then letting out a weak whimper, shifting in his sleep and nearly falling off the seats. Markus is constantly on edge, ready to stop and jump to Connor’s aid, if necessary.

Markus is getting tired. He ate a bit, some time ago, but he can’t stop the fatigue settling in his bones.

It doesn’t matter how tired he gets. He needs to go on.

More time passes, and Connor starts to talk. At fist Markus doesn’t hear him properly, his voice too soft, but he can make out some words, and it becomes clear Connor isn’t talking to him. 

‘Dad, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘Sumo’ and ‘Amanda’ are the most common ones, the ones Markus can actually understand. Sometimes the brunet is clearly having a conversation with people who are not there, keeps providing one-sided answers to question Markus can’t hear. Other times he simply murmurs some names, or apologies, and those times are worse, because Connor becomes distressed and Markus’ heart breaks at the pain in the brunet’s voice.

Then Connor suddenly sits straight up, making Markus nearly crash the car into a tree, panic in his eyes. He keeps rambling, clearly upset, and it takes Markus some time to understand why he is so distressed.

“I forgot to feed Sumo. We have to turn back, I forgot to feed Sumo.”

Markus tries to reason with him, trying to keep his focus on the road while also talking to Connor, contemplating to stop, if it is worth wasting that time.

It doesn’t work, no matter how many times Markus assures Connor it isn’t real, he doesn’t have to feed Sumo, that they are on the road, Connor doesn’t listen. He keeps demanding Markus turns the car around, getting more stressed with every passing second, tears building in his eyes.

Eventually Markus changes tactics.

“It’s okay Connor, I fed Sumo. Right before we left. He is fine, remember? I fed him.”

Connor is silent for a moment, unseeing eyes staring at Markus through the mirror, clearly lost in thought. 

“Oh. Thank you.” He lays back down, and promptly goes back to sleep, leaving Markus alone with his thoughts.

It is terrifying, having to watch Connor slip away, watching his condition worsen with every passing hour while being unable to do anything. 

_I’m so sorry. _

He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions locked inside, there is no use for them right now. He just needs to focus on the task at hand, which is finding Kamski, and saving Connor.

The sun sinks lower, shining right into Markus’ eyes, making it harder for him to see if the road is still clear. _He is so tired. _

Suddenly there is a gasp from the backseat, and Markus is immediately tense, ready for Connor to start hallucinating again.

Connor lets out a groan, and slowly pushes himself up, breath speeding up as he strains his injury. “Markus.”

Markus nearly hits the brakes. Connor’s voice sounds clearer, and he seems conscious.

“Hey.” He says, looking back to offer a quick smile, before turning back to the road. “How are you feeling?”

Connor lets out a humourless chuckle. “Is that a serious question?”

His voice is so quiet, so strained. “Here,” Markus reaches over to the passenger seat where he has left a bottle. “Drink this.”

The brunet’s hand shakes as he accepts the water, and Markus tries to ignore how ashen his skin looks. _They’ll make it. They have to. _

“It’s getting dark.” Connor notices after he finishes drinking. “Am I wrong to assume you didn’t take any breaks since we left?”

Markus huffs, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter. We have to get to Denver.”

“Right.” Connor places one hand on Markus’ shoulder. “And how are you… going to get us there if you crash the car, hmm?” 

He has a point, Markus knows he does. But he can’t stop. There is no time.

“Markus.” Connor sounds absolutely exhausted, and Markus’ heart breaks. “Stop. Come lay with me. Please?”

Connor’s thumb is running circles into his neck, his chin placed on Markus’ seat, so close he can feel the other’s breath near his ear. Maybe stopping for a while isn’t the worst plan. An hour, tops.

Giving in, Markus stops the car as gently as possible, and turns it off completely, not wanting to alert walker with a lightshow.

He turns around, and is about to ask if Connor is happy now when he sees his face. The brunet’s eyes have sunken into their sockets, big dark circles are set underneath them, and his skin is pale, drops of sweat collecting on his forehead. 

Markus reaches out one hand, pressing it against Connor’s forehead, who leans into the cool touch.

“You’re burning up.”

Connor doesn’t seem bothered by this, simply keeps staring at Markus, looking like a gush of wind could blow him away.

Removing himself from Connor’s grasp the heterochromatic man exits the car, only to re-enter in the backseat. It takes some effort and time to position both of them on the seats, but they manage, Connor’s back leaning against Markus’s chest, damp brown hair pressed underneath his chin.

They lay like that for a moment, one window opened, providing them with cool afternoon air, making Markus shiver slightly, but hopefully it’ll cool Connor down somewhat.

Connor sighs, his breathing uneven and ragged before he turns his face upwards to look Markus in the eye. “I want to stop.”

Markus doesn’t understand, they just stopped, what does- is he getting delusional again? Should Markus do something? Or-

Suddenly it hits Markus. _He wants to stop. _

“Connor, no.” He tightens his grip on his boyfriend, one hand gripping Connor’s. 

Tears start to fill Connor’s eyes, spilling over only moments later, and Markus’ heart shatters at how broken he looks, making his own eyes tear up as well. 

“Please Markus.” Connor’s voice is no louder than a whisper. “It hurts. I can’t think, I can’t- I feel… so sick. I’m slipping away, you… you see that. Please.” His eyes are burning holes into Markus’ soul. “Now I can think, now I’m… conscious. Let’s end it how I want.”

Markus shakes his head, painfully aware of the gun that is sitting right under these chairs, waiting to be used. 

“I don’t want you to suffer.” He begins. “I know that you are in this state because of me, and I wish I could take it away.” He sees protest rising in Connor’s eyes, but he begins before the brunet can speak up. “I want it to stop, too. But you have to let me try, Connor. I can’t lose you, I- _I love you_.” 

Connor doesn’t look away, but lets out a sob, and Markus grabs his hand tighter, bringing their intertwined fingers up to his chest. _It’s not fair. _

“I would do anything for you. But not this, please, don’t ask me this.”  
Connor finally looks away, burying his face in Markus’ chest and sobbing freely, tears staining his shirt. Markus keeps his own sobs contained, brushing his free hand through Connor’s brown locks, desperately trying to soothe him.

“_I’m scared_.” Comes a muffled voice from his chest. “I’m sorry, I love you, too. I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry.”

Those words shouldn’t be said like this. They should be said with promises of the future, of more time spend together, not like this, when Connor’s time is running out.

Markus tries to calm him down, simply holding him and assuring him over and over that it is okay, that he will do anything to save him, that he is here and won’t leave. He doesn’t promise Connor it’s going to be okay, because he can’t, no matter how much he wants it.

Eventually Connor calms down, his breakdown having burned through whatever energy he had left, and he sinks against Markus’ chest, eyes fluttering close.

“Go to sleep.” Markus whispers, pressing a kiss to his hair. “I got you, go to sleep.”

The sun has set, and darkness starts to fold itself around them. Markus reaches out to grab the gun before he can’t see anymore.

It’s loaded, there are a few bullets left, but one is enough.

He waits for a little longer, making sure Connor is really asleep before unhooking the safety and bringing it up.

“You don’t deserve this.” He whispers in the dark, taking a few deep breaths before placing the barrel against Connor’s head. One bullet is enough. Just one bullet.

Markus’ breath picks up, shaky exhales leaving him far too quick.

“I don’t want you to suffer anymore.” He bows his head, pressing his forehead into the brown hair.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, I’m sorry.” Markus doesn’t know who he is talking to, who he is trying to reassure.

_Just pull the trigger_. Connor doesn’t deserve this, he shouldn’t be in pain anymore. It is Markus’ fault, he has to fix this. He closes his eyes and grits his teeth, breathing in Connor’s scent, now mixed with sickness and sweat, but still Connor’s.

_End it, now. _

“Come on.” He whispers to the dark, the only other sound being Connor’s ragged breathing. “Come on, just pull the trigger, Just one pull, just… It’ll be over, come on…”

He is shaking now, can barely keep the gun in place.

_He can’t do it. _

With a sob he tosses the gun back on the floor, horrified at what he almost did. Markus tightens his arms around Connor and hides his face in the brown locks, wanting nothing more than to disappear from the world.

He has to try, has to try to save Connor, no matter how small the odds, no matter how much pain Connor is in, he can’t let him die.

“I’m so sorry.” It has become a mantra, Markus whispers it over and over again until he has no tears left to cry and his throat starts hurting. 

He is exhausted, stressed and devasted, and Markus can feel himself starting to slip away. He doesn’t move from where he sits, Connor pressed against his chest, head resting on brown hair and hands intertwined with the person he loves. 

_I will save you. _

Knowing that his back will hate him tomorrow, Markus lets himself close his eyes, sinking away in the sweet, sweet oblivion.

_Just a few hours, I’ll sleep just a few hours. _

* * *

When Markus wakes up he is laying in bed. He smiles, relaxes his body and presses deeper into the warmth of the blankets. He could fall right back asleep.

Something moves behind him, and he turns onto his side. 

A body is laying next to him, slender shoulders visible where the blanket has slipped off, dark brown curls are pressed into the pillow.

Markus smiles, enjoying the peaceful moment for a while, hearing nothing but his and Connor’s breath. After a while however, it is not enough, and he reaches out, wanting Connor to be closer, to feel his body against his.

His hand connects with the brunet’s shoulder, and as on cue Connor rolls around.

But the face that greets him is not Connor’s.

Markus yelps and shoves himself backwards, nearly falling off the bed, wanting to get away. 

Connor’s face is one of death and decay, his eyes are closed, eyes sunken deep into his skull, yellow skin rotting, and letting go at some places, revealing the dark blood underneath.

Markus can’t move, can’t do anything but stare in horror at the rotten face of his lover.

Connor’s eyes slowly open, the beautiful deep chocolate color replaced by a dull brown, glazed over and unseeing. His lips move, and a growl comes out of his opened mouth.

“Maaaaarrrrkus…”

Markus jerks away with a gasp, and he barely notices the pain as he hits his head against the window. His heart is racing, and panic has every part of his body in his grip.

_Connor. _

Connor is still laying against his chest, fast asleep. His face is fine. He looks bad, sick and exhausted, but he is fine. He is alive. 

_He is alive, it wasn’t real. It was just a dream. _

Markus notices only then how bad he is shaking, and he takes a moment to get his breathing back under control.

It was just a dream.

The sun hasn’t come up yet, but the sky is already getting lighter in the distance. Has he slept the entire night?

_Shit, _they lost so much time. 

Markus slowly starts to move away from underneath Connor, trying to not wake him.

He fails.

“What’r you doin’?” 

Connor sounds absolutely exhausted; his voice is rasping and barely audible. Markus shushes him.

“I’m just going to drive again. Do you want water? Or food? You haven’t eaten since we left.”

Connor shakes his head at the mention of food, and closes his eyes again. Markus lets him, hoping that his sleepy state at least takes away some of the pain, and moves to inspect the bandages.

They are still clean on the outside, and the bleeding appears to have stopped. He needs to change to bandages though, but there are only a few more hours until they’ll arrive in Denver. It can wait for a little while longer.

Gently lowering Connor back on the seats Markus exits the car and walks to the driver seat, the cool morning air making him shiver slightly. He checks the map before he starts the vehicle, making sure they’re still headed in the right direction.

He drove about eleven hours yesterday, maybe twelve. That means there is still at least seven hours to go, or less because he doesn’t have to worry about the speed limit.

He throws one last glance to Connor, trying to quell the fear that his dream has planted in his body. 

It doesn’t work. 

Markus sighs, starts the car and continues their journey.

The first few hours are uneventful, Connor dozes on the backseat, no longer talking to people who are not there, and Markus doesn’t know if he should be relieved. 

The ride continues as the sun starts climbing the sky, indicating the passing time, precious time that Markus can feel slipping away. 

When they leave the signs of a town called North Platte behind, after what Markus guess are three hours, Connor starts to make noise again.

This time, however, there are no words, only groans of pain and silent whimpers.

“Hey, Connor.” Markus says, reaching out with one hand. “What’s wrong?”

Connor doesn’t respond for a few seconds, only groaning softly, shifting his body on the seats.

“It- it burns. It- _fuck_\- my bones feel like- like glass. It hurts, it-” He groans again, back arching slightly off the seats, and Markus’ heart bleeds for him.

“Hang on for a moment.” Markus takes his hand away, reaching for his bag. Multitasking between driving the car and searching for the medicine he manages to grab some painkillers. They’re not strong, and there are only a few left, but he still hands them to Connor, accompanied with the last of their water.

“Here,” It takes Connor a moment to grab the items. “Take these, it’ll help.”

Connor doesn’t take them right away, but lies still for a moment. “How-” His voice raps, and he has to swallow a few times before the rest comes out. “How much longer?”

“A few hours.” Markus promises. “Three, maybe four.”

Connor sighs, letting his eyes close. “Fuck.”

_Fuck indeed. _

“Hey,” Markus reaches back again, finding Connor’s clammy hand. “You can do this Connor, just hold on, okay? Just a little while longer.”

Connor’s grip is weak, but it is there, and his fingers tighten around Markus’. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can.” _You have to. _

Connor sighs, unwinding their fingers to place his hand on his stomach. “Well, if you say so…” A small smile is tugging at his lips, and Markus feels hope blossoming inside him. _There is still time. _

The last hours pass by in a blur. Connor tries to remain silent, but he groans with every jostle of the car, every bump in the road. After one hour Connor can’t keep silent anymore, constantly groaning and whimpering. After two he doesn’t respond to Markus’ voice anymore, having reduced to small sounds of pain and soft gasps.

It terrifies Markus, and there is nothing he can do.

Finally, after what seems like centuries, Markus spots the blessed sign that tells him they’re approaching Denver, and he almost cries.

_We’re almost there, almost there, please, please let there be something. _

Markus has been here exactly once, and that was years ago. Carl wanted to ‘drop off’ a gift for Kamski, and Markus came along for the ride. 

He hopes with all his heart he can remember where that was.

It was nearby a golf course, and it should be close to the highway they’re currently on. Markus slows down the car, and tries so hard to find the right way.

He has to stop for a moment, desperately searching the maps he has and wishing he could have access to Google Maps. Eventually the man continues driving, making his way over to a few familiar looking houses nearby a golf course.

Yes… this could be it. _ Please let this be it. _

He spends a long time driving around, looking into every street, every turn, trying to find that house. 

It is only when he nears the exit of the place, and the houses starts to thin out that Markus thinks _yes, it might be here. _

There is a house, a mansion, in the distance, a bit further away from the other houses, a lot bigger and seemingly more advanced, and Markus drives them there quickly.

_This is it. _

He stops the car and sits there for a moment, hope and terror fighting for priority in his chest. This could be Connor’s salvation, or his condemnation. 

Markus takes a shaky breath, trying to control his emotion and turns around, looking at the slumped body in the back of the car.

“We’re here, Connor.” He whispers. Connor doesn’t respond, and Markus sighs, but still continues. “I’m going to check it out, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Nothing. Connor remains unresponsive, his eyelids blinking slowly as he stares at the ceiling.

Markus reaches out and squeezes his hand on last time before exiting the car and making his way over to the house, suddenly feeling awkward. Should he knock?

He reaches the massive door, and tries to open it, but it is locked. There is a camera in the left corner, and Markus stares into it.

Is it turned on? Is anyone here?

Not knowing what else to do Markus knocks on the door, and waits.

Nothing happens. Of course nothing happens. 

Markus feels despair climbing in his chest, his throat constricting.

_No, no, no, please. _

Kamski has to be here. He has to, they need help. Markus doesn’t know what to do, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting him hard, and he gasps for breath.

“Please…”

The house remains silent.

Maybe there are medicine inside. It could be. Right? This can’t be the end, there has to be something he can do. Anything. He can’t let Connor die. He can’t.

Markus turns around, about to walk back to the car to get his gun, when he hears something.

It came from inside the house.

He doesn’t dare to move. _Please, please, please. _

For a few agonizing seconds, nothing happens.

Then, there is the sound of a lock being moved, and the door opens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so there’s that. I am really not that happy with this chapter, it was a pain in the ass to write and I’m glad that it’s done, but I hope it was still enjoyable. 
> 
> I could really use some feedback so again, if you have time, please leave me a comment :)
> 
> I also wanted to thank everyone who supported this story so far! All the comments and kudo’s and hits make me so happy. I felt really evil reading about everyone’s emotions last chapter :D
> 
> As usual, I hope to have the next chapter done by next week, I think I will make that, again, if not, don’t worry it’ll just be later.  
That would be all, see ya!
> 
> Oh also I have Tumblr now. If you want to ask something or I dunno, you can click [here](https://winternight21051.tumblr.com/)


	6. Lost cause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrived at the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dig my shallow grave  
It's not me you'll save  
'Cause I'm a lost cause
> 
> -[Lost cause](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKL2wcM5vWM), Imagine Dragons

There is a woman standing in the doorway.

Markus has to blink a few times to process what he is seeing, but it is a woman, a human, a living human. She can’t be older than thirty, Markus guesses.

For a moment they both stare at each other, the face of the blonde woman partially hidden by the half-opened door. Then, Markus remembers why he is here, remembers Connor is waiting in the car behind him, and he speaks.

“I- I’m looking for Elijah Kamski.” 

The woman looks at him for a moment, blue eyes scanning his face, before she answers.

“You came to the wrong place. It would be best if you left.”

She moves to close the door, but Markus, suddenly overcome with a wave of panic rushes forward and stops the door before it can close.

“No please,” He begs. “I need help.” 

_He’s not here. _

Markus tries to stomp the down the panic threating to overtake his entire body. They made it this far, there has to be _something. _ This was Kamski’s place, maybe there is something left. Medicine or research or… or anything.

“My- I’m not alone.” He continues. “I’m with someone, he got bit. Please, we need help.”

The change in the woman’s face is immediate. In one instance her expression changes from guarded and suspicious to curious and… hopeful?

She doesn’t open the door any further, but her hold on the frame lessens. 

“Is he alive?”

Markus nods, taking a small step back, a tiny flower of hope starts to bloom in his chest. The three words are like sunlight, feeding it and letting it grow, but Markus won’t let it become too high, knowing its downfall will be all too hard.

“He is, but barely. We need help.” He repeats, waiting for the woman to decide Connor’s fate.

She is silent for a moment, eyes flickering between him and the car parked a few yards away. She seems to consider her options for a moment, but then she nods. 

She nods, but the flower inside Markus’ chest grows so high she might as well have given him the cure. There is still hope, it is not over yet.

“Bring him inside, but hurry. I don’t want to leave the door open for too long.”

Markus doesn’t waste any more time, after murmuring a quick ‘thank you’, he hurries back to the car, to Connor.

Connor is still laying on the back seat, shivering slightly. As Markus opens the door the brunet’s eyes slide over to him, but Markus doubts Connor actually sees him.

“Hey,” He whispers, moving to get Connor out of the car. “We’re here, I’m going to carry you inside, okay?”

Connor doesn’t answer, simply keeps staring at Markus, his eyes glazed over by the fever. Markus manages to pull him halfway out of the car, and scoops him up in his arms, carrying him bridal style. He leaves their bags, there will be time to get them later.

Connor’s head lolls back, exposing his neck. He looks so vulnerable at this moment, as if anything can come in and kill him right there and then. Markus shifts his arms, and Connor’s head falls back, this time leaning against Markus’ chest. That’s better.

He reaches the door, and the woman lets him inside, immediately closing it behind him.

The change in scenery has Markus standing still for a few seconds.

Everything is so clean. The walls are coloured a dark grey, creating a calm and somber setting in the hall, a huge contrast with the sterile withe floor Markus is walking on. He almost feels guilty as he leaves dirty footprints everywhere he goes. 

If the woman minds she doesn’t show it, simply guiding them towards one of the doors in the hall.

“Follow me.” She says, after her eyes quickly scan Connor’s limp body. Markus’ tightens his arms around him, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. 

This doesn’t feel right.

It doesn’t feel right, but what choice does he have?

A shiver runs through Connor’s body, and he lets out a soft moan, effectively bringing Markus back to the situation on hand. He keeps walking.

They pass through a large area with a swimming pool in the middle of the room. There is actually water in the pool. Clean water. Markus wonders how the woman managed that. It is then that he notices how light it is inside, despite the lack of many windows and bright colours. The lights are on. How are the lights on? She must have a power source somewhere. A generator, maybe.

They move through one more door before entering a small room. The design is pretty much the same as the rest of the house, grey walls with white floors, but this room feels more like a laboratory than anything else. In the middle of the room stands a clean bed, which reminds Markus of a hospital bed, if it weren’t for the restraints that are attached to it.

The woman gestures towards the bed. 

“You can put him down there.”

Markus hesitates, reluctant to let Connor go, and he eyes the restraints. The woman notices his gaze.

“Don’t worry about that, we probably won’t need them. They’re just here as a precaution.”

_In case the patient turns. _ Markus tries not to think about, tries not to think about why this woman would already have restraints on the bed, tries not to think about what that means. Hopefully, it means good news for them, if she was doing research.

He gently lowers Connor on the bed, shushing him as he moans at the sudden motion.

When Connor is settled on the bed, Markus finally turns towards the blonde woman, wondering what will happen next.

She stands perfectly straight, a neutral expression on her face, and after looking Connor over once more she turns towards Markus.

“I’ll let Elijah know you’re here. But please, make yourself comfortable.”

_Wait, what? _

“Wait.” Markus rushes forwards as she turns to leave. “I thought you said he wasn’t here.”

The woman smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I said you came to the wrong place. There would be nothing for you here. But since your friend here is bitten, he can still be useful to our research.”

Markus stares at her for a moment. Doesn’t she care that Connor could die? He is a living human for fuck sakes, not just a part of their experiment. 

He wants to run, to run away with Connor and keep him safe. But he can’t. He can’t because Connor will die if he does. 

He is so tired.

“Do you have any other questions?” The woman asks.

“I- no. Well,” Markus stumbles. “What is your name? My name is Markus.”

The woman smiles again. “Yes, I know. My name is Chloe.”

And with that, she turns and finally exits the room, leaving Markus in a sudden silence he hasn’t heard since they woke up that morning. He sighs, and turns around to Connor, who looks way too vulnerable in that bed.

It shouldn’t be like this. Connor is strong, and always fidgeting, and beautiful and alive. Not- not sick and still like this.

Markus lets his hand glide through Connor’s dark hair, still damp with sweat. 

He has to do something.

Markus moves to Connor’s feet and takes off his shoes, then proceeds to tug him underneath a blanket. In the cabinet next to the bed he finds a washcloth, and starts to gently dip the sweat off Connor’s forehead. 

“It’s going to be okay now, Connor.” He whispers, knowing Connor can’t hear him. “They’ll save you, they will.”

Markus hopes with all his heart that his words are true. He did everything he could, but now it’s out of his hands. All he can do now is sit next to Connor, and put his life in the hands of strangers.

“Everything will be alright.”

* * *

The world is a haze.

Sometimes there is nothing but lovely oblivion and emptiness, and in those moments Connor feels like he is floating. It’s nice.

Sometimes there is pain. Always pain. He can never escape it, it always comes back, no matter how hard he clings to the oblivion. In those moments there is nothing Connor can do but endure it. There’s no one here, in this emptiness. His voice is too soft, he can’t call out. 

He doubts someone would hear him if he could.

Sometimes there are other people. He sees Hank, and Sumo, on the couch in the living room. He can never reach them.

He sees Amanda, standing unfamiliar hallways, never saying a word. She always reaches him.

Sometimes there is a voice, asking him how he is feeling, telling him it will be okay. Connor doesn’t understand that. There’s nothing wrong. 

Sometimes he doesn’t recognize the voice. 

Sometimes everything is clear. Sometimes the world makes sense again. Connor doesn’t like it when that happens, because Markus always looks sad. 

The world is always moving. Bumps and turns and sounds. It reminds Connor of a car. 

The world is always moving, but now it’s quiet. Markus left, he said something but Connor couldn’t understand what. He wants Markus to come back.

Minutes, days, weeks, seconds later Markus comes back. A door opens, and the light shifts. Markus’ face comes into view, he says something but Connor doesn’t really care, he just likes looking at Markus.

He’s moving, Markus is moving him. He is too tired to move his head, so the heterochromatic man does it for him. Connor smiles, leaning against Markus’ chest, watching the light change as Markus carries him.

Eventually Markus lets go of Connor. Something soft presses into his back, and it’s nice, but Markus’ arms were better. If Connor focusses really hard he can see the other man standing next to him. He’s too tired to move. Why is he so tired?

Markus doesn’t leave his side, Connor knows this despite his eyes being closed. He can feel a hand in his hair, and he hears his voice although he cannot make out the words. Markus is safe.

Connor sighs. It is nice, like this.

* * *

He waits by Connor’s side. 

It is quiet, and Markus hates it. There are too many thoughts, too many fears swirling around in his mind, making Markus unable to sit still, to think properly. 

He tries not to focus on them, instead keeping his focus solely on Connor. Connor, with his beautiful face, now with skin way too pale, with his eyes closed, with cracked lips and sweat on his brow.

Markus doesn’t know what he will do if Connor dies. He tried to push it away, in the past days, tried to stay positive, refused to consider the possibility. But now, as Connor lays before him, too still and struggling to breathe, Markus has to face reality. 

He remembers what it was like after North died, after he was left alone.

He doesn’t think he’ll survive if Connor dies, too.

Eventually the woman, _Chloe_, comes back. This time however, she is not alone. A man enters after her, a man with blue eyes who Markus hasn’t seen in years.

Elijah Kamski.

It feels weird, seeing a face of _before_ in this world, it feels like this is not right, like this is not real. 

Kamski’s eyes scan over Connor, and Markus suppresses the urge to stand in front of Connor at the expression that glides over Kamski’s face.

Finally, Kamski looks at him, and he nods his head.

“Markus, it is good to see you.” He steps closer, folding his hands in front of himself. “Although, I must say, I did not expect you here.”

Markus stands up, staying at Connor’s side, who is oblivious to the tense setting around them.

“I didn’t expect to be here, Mr Kamski.” He replies. “But we need help.”

Kamski sighs, and steps closer to the bed, coming to stand on the other side.

“Yes, Chloe informed me of your friend’s situation.” His eyes land on Connor’s bandages, and if he wasn’t speaking Markus would think he wasn’t aware of other people being in the room. “I hope I can help; his situation is quite bad. How long was it, since he was bitten?”

“Two days, more or less.”

Kamski hums, and efficiently removes the bandages to examine the wound. “Chloe, please give him an IV, and get some cool water. We can bring down his fever, that should buy us another day.” He looks at the bite wound for a moment longer, then moves away and faces Chloe. “Record his vitals into file 313 248 317, please.”

Chloe nods, and leaves the room. Markus is frozen in place for a moment. Kamski didn’t even ask Connor’s name. He doesn’t care, that Connor is a person, that Markus_ loves_ him, that he _needs to survive. _

Markus suddenly remembers why he never wanted to come along when Carl visited Kamski.

He has to make him understand, needs him to realize that Connor needs to be saved, because Markus won’t survive is he doesn’t.

“His name is Connor.” He says, making Kamski stop in his tracks and turn towards him. “He is not my friend. He’s my boyfriend.” _I love him. _

He has to make Kamski understand. Connor isn’t just a subject in his research, he is a person.

Kamski simply looks at him for a moment, making Markus squirm under his gaze. 

“There is a spare bedroom, with a working shower. You should get some rest. In the meantime, Chloe and I will do what can to save… Connor.”

No, there is no way is Markus going to leave Connor here alone. 

“No, I stay with him.”

Kamski nods. “Alright, wait here then. Chloe will be right back.”

And with that, he exits the room.

The conversation only lasted a few minutes, but it has left Markus drained, and he sinks back into the chair next to Connor’s bed.

“Did you hear that Connor?” He asks, moving to grasp his boyfriend’s hand again. “They’re going to save you.”

Connor doesn’t respond of course, just lays there, his soft breaths the only sound he makes. Markus sighs, laying his head on the bed. He’s tired.

It only takes Chloe a few minutes to return to the room, this time equipped with a bag, and she quickly hooks Connor up to an IV. 

“What happens now?” Markus asks as she moves to take Connor’s temperature.

“We try to create an antidote.” She answers, as if it the simplest thing in the world. She must notice Markus’ disbelieve, and pauses her movements to look up at him and smile. This time, it warms her entire face, and it makes Markus feel a little more at ease.

“Elijah has been working on a cure ever since everything started.” She explains. “We got close, but we couldn’t finish it, because we never had a subject that was bitten.” She moves to the cabinet, takes a syringe and moves to draw some blood from Connor’s pale arm. “The dead and living gave us plenty of research, but it wasn’t what we needed, it wasn’t enough. Of course, there were no volunteers to get a bite.”

“That is why you let us in. Connor is your missing link.”

Chloe nods. “Exactly. I hope we can create something that works this time.” Her voice turns soft, eyes distant with memories of the past. Markus wonders what she has been through, to get to this point.

She moves away from Connor, writing something down and putting her supplies back into her bag. She looks at Markus again. 

“I know Elijah can be a little… intense.” She starts. “But he is good at what he does. If anyone can figure this out, it’s him.”

Markus smiles at her, grateful for her words. Now that everything is set up and something is happening, he feels slightly better. 

“Thank you.” He said. “For- for letting us in, for helping us. I know it’s because you need Connor but…”

Chloe gives him another warm look. “It’s okay.” She says. “Believe it or not, but Elijah would’ve helped you even if he didn’t need him. He just likes to tell himself he doesn’t care about anyone or anything.” She chuckles, as if having an inside joke with herself, before becoming serious again.

“I’ll bring you some food in a bit. If you want to clean up, there’s a working shower, but the water is limited. You probably don’t want to leave him,” She gestures towards Connor. “so if you can help me in a bit, we can move a bed to this room.”

Markus smiles, surprised by the hospitality he’s suddenly shown, even though Kamski already offered him a room. After thanking Chloe once more, she leaves the room, once more leaving Markus alone with Connor.

He did it, he brought Connor to the one place that might make a difference, and by some miracle, it actually does. Perhaps the universe finally felt sorry for him, and granted him this hope, this miracle. Markus really hopes it wasn’t in vain.

He moves his gaze back to Connor once again, taking his cold hand in his own. He sighs, hatting his inability to do something. 

It doesn’t matter. He got them here, and now Kamski can create a cure.

They’re going to save him, they have to.

* * *

The air is cool against his skin, and Connor draws his beanie further over his head.

Why did they plan to meet up _outside_, where it is freezing?

Connor sighs, his breath turning into a small cloud before vanishing. Markus better hurry up before he freezes on the spot. He knows he’s probably exaggerating, but Connor hates being cold, so fuck off.

Finally, finally, he spots a familiar form at the other side of the town’s square, and he moves to stand up from the ice-cold bench. _Took him long enough. _

“Hey.” Markus wastes no time scooping Connor into his arm, and pressing his mouth to his own. Like snow in the sun, Connor annoyance disappears, and he lets himself get lost in his boyfriend’s warmth.

“Hey, are you ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready forever, please get me out of this cold.”

Markus laughs, taking Connor’s gloved hand and pulling him along. “Sorry,” He apologises. “The bus was late because of the snow.”

Connor squeezes his hand, drawing him a bit closer. “That’s alright. You’re here now.”

They walk for a while, Connor leading Markus along, making his way over to one specific shop. Markus had wanted to buy Hank a gift before they finally met. Connor said it wasn’t necessary, but Markus insisted, and Connor secretly found it adorable.

It doesn’t take them long to find what they’re looking for, even though Connor rushes back into the store after realizing he forgot to get treats for Sumo, leaving an amused Markus waiting in the snow.

As they sit huddled together in a bus that is way too crowded, Markus puts his arm around Connor, pulling him close. “Do you think he will like me?”

Connor scoffs, moving up to look Markus in the eyes. He looks nervous, and Connor’s heart melts. “Of course he will. You brought him food.”

Markus snorts, shaking his head. “I’m sure that’s not all there is to it.”

Connor is tempted to tease Markus a little, but he remembers how nervous he was when he first met Carl, and decides to take pity on him. 

“You worry too much.” He starts. “Hank will like you, I’m sure. I mean, you’re kind and gentle and funny…” Connor moves closer, wanting nothing more than to just pull Markus in and kiss his insecurities away, but doing so in a bus where everyone is pressed together would be a little inappropriate. 

“Just be yourself, Markus. There’s nothing that can go wrong with that. You’re pretty much perfect.” 

Markus smirks, eyes twinkling. “Pretty much?”

“Well, you did leave me waiting in the snow.” 

“The bus was late!”

“Tell that to my frozen ears.”

Markus huffs, pulling Connor’s beanie down, over his eyes. “You’re overreacting.”

Connor quickly pulls his beanie back up, already imaging how his hair is going to look now. “Am not.” He swats Markus’ chest. “But you can make it up to me. Tonight.”

He leans in closer, before accidentally catching the eye of the person behind Markus. Right. Public transport. Behave.

Markus laughs softly, and pulls Connor against his side. It doesn’t take much longer before they reach their destination, and after they pushed through the crowd they’re finally outside, back in the cold. A feeling of unease creeps over him, like something is wrong. Connor doesn’t know where it is coming from. He shivers and leans into Markus’ side, trying to ignore it.

They make their way over to Hank’s house. Connor smiles as the familiar porch comes into sight. He should visit more, but life has been so busy ever since he moved out. Maybe after Christmas, he’ll have more time.

“I should warn you, dad can get a little overprotective.” Connor warns before opening the door, grinning at Markus’ face. “Police lieutenant and all.” He turns back, entering the house.

The grin falls from his face.

The house is dark, empty and what furniture is left is covered in dust. The table is broken, the television has fallen from the wall and there is broken glass everywhere on the floor. 

Connor takes a few steps into the house, anxiety swirling like a storm in his chest.

“Dad?”

There is no one here. As he steps into the living room he spots Sumo’s bed. It is empty, torn at several places, and there is a spot of blood in the middle.

Connor covers his mouth and turns around to Markus.

There is no one behind him.

“Markus?”

The door is still open, snow now blowing inside, the cold making Connor shiver and wrap his arms around himself. Somewhere in the house a window breaks, making Connor jump, and the sound of the wind becomes louder, more snow blowing inside.

Connor frantically looks around, panic nearly taking over his body. Suddenly, on the other side of the hallway, he spots a figure.

The silhouette looks familiar, but… no, it can’t be…

“Amanda?”

The figure turns around, snow swirling around her posture, but never affecting her.

“Amanda,” Connor repeats, suddenly feeling like the scared five-year-old he once was. “What- what’s happening?”

Amanda doesn’t respond, but turn to the side and enters Connor’s old room, disappearing from view.

“Amanda!”

Connor tries to follow her, wants to know what is going on, what is happening, but as he tries to take a step forward his legs tumble, and he falls onto his knees. It’s so cold. He can’t move.

Panic is gripping his body, the wind becomes louder, the snow flying around him. _He can’t see he can’t hear he can’t think it’s so cold please help make it stop help. _

Connor can’t get up. He tries to scream but no sound escapes his mouth. The wind is too loud, he can’t hear anything but the howling in his ears. He grips his hair, bowing his head. 

_Please, help. _

Connor sobs, and all he can see is white.

* * *

Markus waits for what feels like years.

He’s still sitting in the chair next to Connor’s bed, now pushed further into the corner. He and Chloe dragged a spare bed into the room a few hours ago, and Markus ate afterwards. He was surprised to be given fresh, warm food, his meal consisting out of carrots, potatoes and even some meat. Chloe smiled when he asked how they got this, explaining that she’s maintaining a tiny garden just outside the house, growing several vegetables and fruit. 

Markus felt a little bad for taking their supplies, but Chloe assured him it was fine, they had enough. It tasted delicious, but Markus couldn’t bring up the excitement to enjoy it. Not with Connor laying unresponsive next to him.

He hasn’t seen Kamski after their first meeting, he assumes he’s at work, trying to create a miracle cure. 

He sighs, leaning forward to rest his head on Connor’s bed, eyes never leaving his face. He doesn’t know what to do. There_ is nothing to do_. Nothing but waiting, waiting for Kamski to do his work. Markus wishes he_ could _do something, but he doesn’t want to leave Connor’s side. He’s afraid that if he does leave, for even a second, Connor might just… 

He needs to be here. Even if he can’t do anything, he needs to be here, where he belongs, right next to Connor.

He props his head back up, brushing a stubborn lock of hair out of Connor’s face. He looks peaceful, right now, better than before. The IV is helping, keeping Connor hydrated and providing him with some minerals. Kamski predicted another day. They still have one more day.

“I wish you would just wake up.” Markus says. “I want to talk to you. I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do.”

Connor doesn’t respond. There is no twitch of his eyelids, no movement in his hand, nothing to indicate that he heard Markus.

Markus lets out a shuddering breath. “You’re always so stubborn.” He mumbles, letting his head fall back, tracing Connor’s hand with his thumb. 

He is tired. He knows he should probably get some sleep, but Markus is afraid that if he drops his guard for even a moment something terrible will happen. So he fights sleep, and stays by Connor’s side.

More time passes, there is no clock in the room, but the light changes, and Markus can tell the sun is almost setting. They’ve been here for an entire day now, and there is still no news.

Connor suddenly moves, mumbling something. Markus shoots upright, wondering if he might wake. 

The brunet’s eyelids are twitching, his eyes moving underneath. Every now and then Connor’s fingers move, gripping things that aren’t there. He is dreaming.

Markus sighs, stretching his limbs as he sits back up. 

Suddenly Connor moans, and throws his head to the side. Whatever he’s dreaming about, it can’t be pleasant.

“Hey, it’s okay. Connor.” Markus moves his hand to Connor’s head, trying to calm him, but it doesn’t work. Connor twitches more, still mumbling, but Markus can’t make out the words, until he gasps; “Amanda.”

He keeps trying to shush his boyfriend, trying to calm him down, but none of his methods work. Eventually Markus climbs into the bed, lifting Connor up to lay against his chest, and wraps his arms around him. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re dreaming.” He strokes Connor’s hair, knowing he can’t hear him, but he keeps talking anyway. It seems to work. The brunet’s movements slow down, and he begins to calm. Markus sighs in relief as Connor finally slumps against him, continuing his feverish sleep.

Markus doesn’t know if this is a good sign, but considering their luck, it probably isn’t. Connor is getting worse and time is running out. 

They need that cure.

* * *

There is nothing here.

There is only white. Endless space of white.

Connor doesn’t really like it.

He can’t feel anything. It feels like he is floating. It’s nice, but something feels wrong.

Behind him, something is changing. There are colors, a dark storm of black in the distance. It’s calling to Connor.

He should stay in the white, where it is good, and calm. He has to stay here, he knows that. It feels someone has told him that, that someone wants him to stay here.

Connor doesn’t remember, so it probably wasn’t important.

But it feels like it was. 

Everything is so confusing. It’s easier to not think about it.

The black storm is creeping closer now. Connor stares at it for a moment.

It’s calling him. Something tells him that it will be better there. In there, everything will stop, and thing will make sense again. Maybe he should go into it. He is tired of the white.

But he can’t. He has to stay in the white, he knows that. 

The storm is closer, right before him. If he reaches out he can touch it. Would it swallow him whole?

It’s calling him.

No, he can’t go. He has to stay here, someone told him that. Why can’t he remember who told him that?

Is it important? 

He wants to go. It would be so much better to just go.

The storm is all around him now, calling him, inviting him. It will be better.

All he has to do is reach out, accept.

_I have to stay in the white. _

There are others, in the storm. Connor can feel it. It will be good, if he goes, he just has to go.

Someone told him to stay in the white. Would they be mad, if he went? Surely they wouldn’t, not if the storm feels so much better, not if Connor is tired of the white.

Right?

Connor looks up, staring straight into the storm.

_Come here, it says, come here, and everything will be better. Stop fighting. _

That sounds good. Connor doesn’t have to stay in the white.

He reaches out, and accepts.

* * *

The natural light has been replaced by the harsh electric light for a few hours when Kamski enters the room. Markus had been dozing off, simply laying behind Connor, holding him close.

Could this be it? He looks up at Kamski.

The man walks closer to the bed, and Markus slowly gets off. 

“Did you do it?” Markus asks.

Kamski looks up at him. “I did the best I could, in the time I had. I did not have any time to run any tests, or do anything over. I cannot possibly say if I ‘did it’.” 

Markus doesn’t say anything, despair and hope fighting for priority in his chest. Kamski looks down at Connor, a smug smile on his face. “But, yes. I think I did it.”

Kamski explains that Chloe is finishing the last touches and notes, and she will bring the cure in a few minutes. 

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” Kamski suddenly says, still looking at Connor. “Humanity has always been looking for ways to improve itself, to create more, to play God.” He smiles, looking up at Markus and sending chills down his spine. “And now, one of their greatest achievements became its downfall.”

“I don’t see how this is a great achievement.” Markus responds, wishing Chloe would return already.

“Humans always strive to be superior to one another.” Kamski says, moving away from the bed and spreading his arm as if explaining something to Markus. “While they create medicine to fight off death they also create viruses to bring death to those against them. Quite handy in the war, if your opponent doesn’t have an antidote. But, all viruses spread like epidemics and now, the very thing that was supposed to make this nation mightier has wiped it out.” He chuckles. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

Markus doesn’t really see the humour in the deaths of millions of people, but he is spared an answer as Chloe finally enters the room, a syringe in her hand. This is it, all or nothing.

“Are we ready to administer the antidote, Elijah?” She asks after giving Markus a nod of acknowledgement.

Kamski gives a nod of confirmation, holding out his hand. Chloe hands him the syringe.

Markus feels like the world no longer turns as Kamski moves to Connor’s arm, and inserts the bright blue contents of the syringe into his arm. 

It’s done.

“Chloe, please record this in the file.”

Markus holds Connor’s hand, sighing in relief as Chloe takes Connor’s temperature. “So how do we know if it works?”

“Well, that depends on Connor.” Kamski says. “If he wakes up, the cure worked, and if he doesn’t, we’re going to need those restraints.”

Markus swallows, tightening his hold on Connor’s hand. He will wake up, he will.

“We will record his vitals every hour.” Chloe says. “Besides that there is nothing we can do. Get some sleep Markus. You need it.”

Kamski throws one last look at Markus and leaves, Chloe in tow. No longer interested in either of them. Markus sighs, his breath shaking.

“Hear that, Con? All you need to do is wake up. You can do that.” 

His eyes are so heavy, he really needs to sleep. Markus leans forward, brushing Connor’s hair from his forehead and planting a sift kiss on his lips. “Just wake up, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Reluctantly he lets go of Connor’s hand and makes his way over to the other bed. He sits on the edge and takes off his shoes, finally ready to get some sleep. Before he kills the light Markus throws one last look at Connor’s sleeping form, hoping it will give him the rest he needs. It doesn’t.

Something is wrong.

Markus can’t quite put his finger on it, but something is wrong. Connor is too still.

“Connor?”

He jumps off the bed, walking back to Connor, taking his hand again. “Connor, hey.”

He stares at Connor’s face, trying to find what it is that has set his nerves off in a frenzy. It only takes Markus two seconds to realize what it was.

Connor’s not breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I apologize for this being so late, life is staring again and it is very demotivating. BUT HERE IT IS. I hope this was worth the wait.
> 
> Comments give me air :)
> 
> Hope to have the next done by next week, if not, it’ll be later. Yeah that makes sense. Okay bye


	7. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been afraid, don't wanna fade out of my body  
I've been astray, barely awake, floating above me  
Covered in gray, what can I say? I've been a zombie  
I'm feeling like I've been locked in a grave
> 
> -[Stuck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfC5WtzRKiY), Imagine Dragons

Connor’s not breathing.

He’s not breathing, and the panic and despair that press down on Markus nearly send him to his knees.

“No,” He chokes out, hands moving to cup Connor’s face. “No, don’t do this. Not now, please.” He starts begging, grasping at straws, willing his shaking hands to make Connor wake up.

“Connor please.” He can barely get the words out, his voice shaking with terror. It only lasts a few seconds, a few seconds in where panic completely overtakes his thoughts and his body, but suddenly there’s one clear thought filtering through the haze. 

_Check for a pulse, perform chest compressions, call code blue._

Markus takes a shuddering breath and moves two fingers to Connor’s neck, right on the carotid artery. 

_Come on, come on. _  
Nothing.

Okay, okay. Markus knows what to do, he’s practised this a thousand times, he can do this.

Moving his hands to Connor’s chest, Markus folds them together and starts pushing. 

_Make sure you press hard enough, otherwise you might as well do nothing. Don’t be afraid to break a rib. _

Remembering what he’d been taught, all those years ago, Markus tries to calm himself down, focus on the task ahead. He needs help.

“Chloe!” He screams while continuing the compressions. _Ten, eleven, twelve. _ “Chloe! I need help! Please!” His voice breaks, and tears start to blur his vision, but Markus has no time to wipe them away. “Come on, Connor, please don’t do this.” 

He reaches the count of 20 before the door flies open and Chloe comes running in.

“He’s not breathing.” Markus gasps. “He doesn’t have a pulse, he doesn’t- I need help. Please.” 

Chloe wastes no time, rushing to the other side and tilting Connor’s head back. “How far are you?” 

_28, 29. _ “Thirty.”

She nods, pinching Connor’s nose close and blows air into his airway. Connor’s chest rises, once, twice.

Markus wastes no time, and immediately continues his compressions, keeping his rhythm, remembering the song _stayin’ _alive. He counts to thirty again, and Chloe is ready to do her part. Markus is shaking, keeps glancing at Connor’s face, at his closed eyes. _Please, you’re not dead you’re not dead come one. _

He can feel the fatigue settling in his arms, the feeling only getting more intense as he refuses to even consider slowing down. After two minutes they swap out, Chloe taking over the chest compressions and Markus presses his mouth to Connor’s. As he moves to blow air into his boyfriend’s mouth for the tenth time his tears drip on Connor’s cheek, rolling down to his ears into the pillow. _Please Connor. _

They keep going, switching out and never slowing down even a second. It doesn’t work. Connor remains unresponsive, his body shaking every time someone presses down on his chest. 

Markus feels Connor’s rib crack with the force of which he’s pressing down, and he sobs. “Come on, Connor. Don’t leave me, please don’t do this.” Tears continue to drip down his face, landing on his intertwined hands.

“We’re so close. Please don’t- don’t- you’re not dead. Come. On.”

He pushes down twice more, in sync with his words, sobs still escaping his mouth.

Connor gasps.

He gaps and Markus stops pressing, hands immediately going to the brunet’s face, and he breathes his name.

He is breathing. Markus can feel the air slipping between his lips as he traces his finger over Connor’s face. Chloe is checking his pulse, confirming his heart is beating again, he hasn’t turned. His eyes remain closed, and Connor doesn’t wake up, but Markus doesn’t care. This is enough. He lets out a shaky laugh mixed with tears and lets his forehead drop onto Connor’s.

He stays like that for a few seconds, letting relief take over his body, trying to stop the sobs that still escape his lips. “You’re okay.” He whispers into brown hair. “You’re okay.”

He doesn’t know if he’s talking to Connor or trying to calm himself, but he repeats the words anyway, needing that reassurance. 

Eventually Markus moves back up, stroking Connor’s hair out of his face, his breaths still tremoring as they slip past his lips.

“It’s okay, Markus.”

Chloe’s voice causes him to finally look up, and Markus is suddenly aware of the fatigue in his body. 

“Connor is okay, you saved him.” Markus nods, tension finally seeping out of his body. 

“Yeah,” He responds, and looks at Connor’s naked chest, eying the bandaged wound and the red marks of where they have been pressing only seconds ago. Markus shakes, tears filling his eyes again. “I broke his rib.” 

Chloe nods, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You saved his life, Markus.” 

Markus nods again, his entire body trembling as the realization of what just happened sinks in. _ Connor almost died. _

He sinks into Chloe’s touch, and she wraps his arms around him. 

It would be awkward, they’ve only met yesterday, but Markus craves assurance and comfort right now, and Chloe has been nothing but kind, has been a beacon of hope, so Markus buries his face into her neck and lets more tears fall.

“I’ll inform Elijah of what happened.” Chloe says as they pull apart. “We will bandage his ribs, you most likely just cracked one. Get some sleep.”

Markus straightens, ready to protest, _look what happened when I tried that, _ but Chloe holds up her hand, expression stern.

“I will stay here as well, keep an eye on him, if anything happens, I’m here.”

Markus still isn’t sure, and his hesitation makes Chloe smile. “You don’t want to drop dead when Connor wakes up, right?”

No, he doesn’t. She’s right, he should get some rest, be ready to help when he wakes up again. So Markus nods once more, grateful, and he walks over to the bed, this time he can hear Connor’s soft breathing.

“I will be back soon, and I will not let anything happen, okay?” Chloe says, before she leaves him alone.

Markus sighs and presses his face into the pillow while still staring at Connor’s unconscious form, the final traces of panic leaving his body.

He is still alive. _I saved him. _

He falls asleep before Chloe returns.

* * *

There are no dreams this time, and Markus wakes up to a room filled with sunlight.

He feels better, well rested, and takes a moment to enjoy the soft bed he’s laying in. As he sighs and closes his eyes, the memory of last night flashes behind his eyelids and Markus shoots upright.

The first thing he sees is Connor. He is still laying in the bed, his soft curls have once again fallen into his face, and if Markus ignores the pale skin and sunken eyes Connor almost looks peaceful. His chest is still bare, and next to the old bandage of his wound there are now several new ones wrapped around his ribs.

_Because Markus broke them. _

Markus shakes his head, reminding himself Connor is alive. A broken rib is a small price to pay for that. 

As his eyes finally leave Connor’s still form Markus notices Chloe, who is sitting next to his bed as she reads a book. The blonde looks up as Markus shoves himself off the bed.

“Good afternoon.” She greets. “You’ve been out for a while.”

Markus smiles at her. “Hi.” He mumbles, voice hoarse from sleep. “How is he?”

Chloe smiles and puts her book away. “Better. His condition is improving. It seems like the cure is working. Elijah gave him the second dose while you were asleep.” She explains, and Markus feels relief flooding through his body.

“So he’s going to be okay?” He looks up at Chloe. “He will wake up?”

“Most likely, yes.” A serious expression slides over her face, eyebrows slightly drawn down. “Although there is no telling what the virus has done to his systems, or his brain. We don’t know what condition he will be in when he wakes up. Elijah predicts he will suffer some long-term consequences regarding his health, and there is a slight change his memory will be a bit messy.”

Markus feels his heart sink. That doesn’t sound good. What if Connor remains sick for the rest of his life? What if he doesn’t remember him? Would it matter? 

Chloe notices his expression, and throws a reassuring smile towards him. “It’s nothing major.” She promises. “Nothing that we can’t fix here. He will probably be fine. I just want you to know the possibilities.”

Markus nods, understanding. “Thank you. For everything.” 

Chloe shakes her head, her blonde ponytail swinging on her head. “I will get you some food and water, okay? Just sit with him.”

Markus thanks her again, and moves to do just that. He sighs, grabbing Connor’s hand once more. _The cure is working. _

A smile slides onto his face, and Markus moves forward touching Connor’s head. “You did it.” He whispers. “All you have to do now is wake up, so I can tell you how much I love you.”

Connor doesn’t respond of course, but that’s okay. Markus knows that he will, he just needs some time. 

Markus throws his head in his neck, enjoying the sunlight that streams through the window. They’ve been through so much, they’ve come so far, he can barely believe it’s almost over, doesn’t dare to believe Connor is going to be okay. There is still a tiny bit of fear clutching his heart and mind, refusing to let go no matter how much Chloe reassures him. He hopes it will vanish when Connor wakes up, but he knows it will always linger.

The door opens, and Markus looks up, expecting to see Chloe, but she isn’t the one who enters.

It’s Kamski.

Markus sits straight up, immediately tense. 

“Markus.” Kamski greets him. “Good to see you’re awake.”

Markus is silent for a moment, not sure what to say. “I- Thank you, again, for letting us stay here, for helping Co-” Kamski silences him with a hand gesture, and moves to the other side of Connor’s bed. Markus swallows.

“Magnificent, isn’t it? To see my work in action?” He smiles to himself and lifts his gaze to Markus’. “I take Chloe informed you on the proceedings from here on?”

Markus resits to urge to shrink into himself and pull Connor closer. Instead he meets Kamski’s gaze. “A little.” He responds. “She explained what might happen when Connor wakes up.”

Kamski hums. “Ah yes, nothing you should worry about. Connor will continue to receive more doses of the antidote, until I no longer deem it necessary. You will stay here as long as I need to do my research.” It’s not a request, and Markus shivers, curling his hand tighter around Connor’s.

“What happens after that? After you’re done?” Paranoia climbs over Markus. Would Kamski want anything in return? If he does, Markus is willing to pay, no matter what the cost.

“After that,” Kamski says. “you are free to leave.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. Like we said, we needed Connor. After this we have no use for you anymore. Although…” Markus feels his heart constricts, here it comes, the price he has to pay. “Chloe has been looking for pumpkin seeds forever. If you could find some out there I would be very grateful.”

Markus blinks, stunned. That can’t be it. This man has literally created a miracle cure, and all he wants are… pumpkin seeds. It makes no sense.

It makes no sense, but Markus isn’t going to question it. He never understood Kamski and guesses he never will. 

“Okay,” He says. “I will find some for you.”

“Excellent.” Kamski straightens his back, and moves to exit the room. “Chloe will return soon with your food.” Markus nods, and watches Kamski leave again.

He sighs dropping his head in his hands. He will be happy to leave this place behind, to start over somewhere with Connor. Build a home.

It takes a few more minutes for Chloe to return and give him some food, and she quickly excuses herself, looking dead tired. Markus thanks her for the third time, and hopes she can get some good, long, sleep.

And then it’s just him and Connor again. God, Markus wants him to wake up. He misses his voice, his eyes, his smile…

He sighs, and plays the waiting game once more.

The hours tick by, and as Markus looks up from the book Chloe gave him he can see the sun slowly moving away and down again, colouring the sky in stunning red and purple lights. Markus wishes he could paint this, he can already imagine how he would transfer the colours onto his canvas, how he would make them mean something else, create a whole new image out of nothing but the sky and his emotions. 

Thinking about painting brings his thoughts to Carl. Would Kamski still have the painting his dad gave him? Markus makes a mental note to ask the scientist about it, although he really wants to avoid talking to him. Markus sigs, and hopes that wherever Carl is, he’s at peace, hopes he doesn’t have to see what Markus has been through. Maybe North is with him. Markus smiles, imagining the two of them meeting. _That _would be interesting.

The quiet peace of the room is suddenly broken by the shift of blankets.

Markus nearly drops the book he has been reading in his hurry to move to Connor’s side. Could this be it?

Connor’s body is still, there is no sign of any movement. But then, out of nowhere the brunet’s eyes shift. 

_He is waking up. _

* * *

His senses slowly come back to his body.

The first thing Connor notices is his incredible dry throat, and he swallows a few times while waking up. He doesn’t want to fully wake just yet, so for a moment he lets himself float there, in the fine line between sleep and consciousness. He doesn’t remember where he is, and for right now he doesn’t care. His eyelids feel so heavy, and the surface his is laying on is so soft, Connor would like to stay here a little longer.

There is movement next to him. In his dazed state Connor doesn’t tense, the movement only registers in his mind and flows away again. He should probably open his eyes, though.

Doing so proves to be difficult. It feels like his eyelids weight a hundred tons each, and Connor doesn’t have the energy to fight it right now.

A weight settles down on his hand, someone is holding it, gripping tightly but still gentle. 

“ ’onnor?”

The sound is vague, almost as if it has been pushed through a layer of molasses. Connor recognizes it, but he can’t quite place it right now. He wants to know though, so he pushes against his eyelids once again, fighting the exhaustion and forcing them open.

The light is too bright.

The first slimmer has him closing his eyes again, and he twitches his head. The pressure on his hand fades, and Connor desperately wants to chase it, suddenly feeling incredibly alone. Where did he go?

There is a shift on the other side of his eyelids. The light that has been pushing on them suddenly fades, and Connor dares to open them again.

This time, there is no harsh brightness, and the brunet manages to fully open his eyes. 

He sees a face, looming above him. His vision is blurry and Connor blinks a few times. Slowly, his vision becomes sharper and he can make out two eyes, one blue and one green.

“Connor.” The owner of the eyes says. Connor frowns, he wants to ask what is going on, why he is feeling like this, but he is lost in the mesmerizing orbs above him, and just keeps starting for a while.

“Can you hear me?” The man asks, and Connor realizes the question is meant for him. He opens his mouth and tries to speak, but nothing comes out except a soft rasp. His throat hurts. 

“Don’t try to speak.” The man must notice his struggles. “Just… squeeze my hand. Once for yes, twice for no, okay?”

Connor squeezes once, and he is rewarded with a beautiful smile. Maybe he’s in heaven, and this is an angel, guiding him through the next world.

“Do you know where you are?” The next question has Connor thinking for a while. He searches his memory but everything is so hazy, like his mind is made of nothing but cotton. Eventually he squeezes his hand twice. The man nods.

“Okay, that’s okay.” He says. “All you need to know for now is that you’re safe. Don’t worry about it, alright?” 

Connor doesn’t know if he is supposed to answer that, but he squeezes anyway. 

The man smiles again before his expression turns serious, and slightly worried. Connor frowns, wondering what’s wrong.

“Do you-” The man stops, glances away, and looks at him again. “Do you know who I am?”

_Should I? _

Connor thinks for a moment, again trying to pull up memories, but there is nothing there. He moves to squeeze twice, but hesitates. There is something… something familiar. _ I think I do know you. _

He tries again, desperately searching for _something. _ It’s important, he knows it is. He finds something, not a real memory, but a feeling, the memory of a feeling. He grasps onto it, still staring at those heterochromatic eyes. _Who are you? _

He tries again and again, grasping onto that feeling. It feels good, warm, safe. The feeling becomes stronger, and Connor remembers more. He remembers fear, pain and distrust. That can’t be right. That is not… _what am I looking for? _

The man is still staring at him, a desperate look on his face, and Connor, in his dazed states can only think about how much he wants that look to be replaced by a smile.

So he tries again, harder this time. _Who are you who are you who are you? _

He pulls up that feeling again, that feeling of safety, of warmth, of… _love. _

He is almost there, just a little more. Suddenly there is one thought, one thing he knows for sure. _ I know you. _

Memories start to come back, no full scenes, just fragment, feelings and scents. He remembers a fire, waking up to the smell of soup. He remembers a storm, the sound of a piano and laughter. He remembers water on his skin and hands in his hair, a mouth pressed to his. He remembers feeling loved, feeling _happy. _ He remembers a car, stupidity and excitement. He remembers the feeling of naked skin against his body, the smell of sweat and the sound of moans. He remembers happiness. He remembers a gun, panic and fear. He remembers pain and safety. _ He remembers. _

He exhales, moving his free arm up to touch the face above him.

“M’rkus.”

Markus smiles, lets out a sound between a sob and a laugh and places his hand over Connor’s. “Hey.”

Connor is tired, he doesn’t know where he is, his entire body feels numb apart from his side and his chest, his throat hurts and he can’t speak. But Markus is here, Markus is holding him and smiling at him, and Connor feels so safe, and so good, that none of it matters. None of it matters because Markus is here, and Markus will take care of him.

Connor smiles, relaxes back into the mattress and lets his mind become empty once more, only focussing on Markus’ face and his touch.

He wants to speak, wants to ask him questions and make sure he is alright, but he knows that right now he can’t. He is too tired, he feels sick and he knows that has something to do with the pain in his side, but Connor doesn’t want to think about it any further. He simply relishes in the feeling of Markus and safety. He closes his eyes as Markus leans forward to press his lips against Connor’s.

He is safe.

* * *

After Markus helps him drink some water Connor falls back asleep. He didn’t want to and desperately tried to stay awake, but Markus’ hand in his hair had felt so nice, and the bed was so soft that Connor couldn’t fight it if he tried.

He wakes up several more times, and every time Markus is at his side. There are other people, a woman who introduces herself as Chloe, and a man who gives Connor the creeps. Markus introduces him as Elijah Kamski. 

Chloe, who Connor thinks is really nice, performs some tests while Kamski asks him several questions. It tires Connor, but he knows he owes it to them to do as they ask. Thankfully Markus is there, and with a hand on his shoulder he _politely_ asks them to let Connor rest.

Connor feels better each time he wakes up, feels a little stronger, and he manages to make some conversation with Markus before he falls back asleep. Markus keeps smiling, keeps asking him how he’s feeling, keeps assuring him everything will be okay now, and Connor is grateful. He is grateful, but although he doesn’t acknowledge it, Connor can see something darker inside Markus’ eyes. Something happened that has Markus shaken, but Connor doesn’t want to address that while he’s still unable to stay awake longer than ten minutes. 

The light has changed every time he wakes, and Connor sees the night end and a new day start.

The sky is turning orange when Connor wakes for the sixth time, and Connor knows the day is drawing to an end. Soon the sun will set and darkness will once again spread through the world.

Something is different this time, though. Connor is awake, but Markus isn’t here. Slowly, he manages to pull himself up into a sitting position, and he stretches his arms. Chloe removed the IV the last time he woke, so Connor can move freely.

Brown eyes scan the room, but Markus is nowhere to be seen. Connor frowns, and makes a decision. He throws the blanket off his bare shoulders, and pushes himself off the bed. His toes reach the cold floor, and he sways as he puts his weight on his feet. Eventually, Connor manages to stay steady and he releases the bed. _That wasn’t that hard. _

He shivers as the cool air hits his chest, and Connor pulls the blanket off the bed to wrap it around his shoulders. _Where could Markus be? _

Connor shuffles through the room, one arm clutching his ribs as the other keeps the blanket secure around his shoulder. He picks a door at random and exits the small room.

_Wow. _

For a moment Connor stands there, blinking a few times to take in what he’s seeing. 

A swimming pool?

He walks closer, slowly, because if he moves any faster he’ll fall. As he reaches the edge, Connor tries to squat down to touch the water, but the pain in his chest the movement causes makes him stop. He exhales slowly, breathing the pain away and stands straight again. 

Why the hell is there a swimming pool?

Connor looks at the water, stretching out in front of him. Markus was right; Kamski is weird.

As he scans the rest of the room, his gaze slides over the many windows and the view they provide. Then, he spots a familiar figure sitting outside, his back towards the house, looking out over a lake. Connor smiles.

The door is unlocked, and Markus looks up at the sound of it opening.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed yet.” He frowns, and moves to get up, but Connor shrugs and tells him to stay.

He shuffles towards Markus who is looking at him with a concerned look on his face. It takes some effort to sit down, but Connor grits his teeth and does it anyway.

He hears Markus sigh as he wraps one arm around Connor’s shoulder, pulling him close. “You’re an idiot.” Connor leans his head on Markus’ shoulder, hearing the smile in his voice. He also sounds exhausted, Connor should probably drag him into bed after this.

“How are you feeling?” Markus whispers, not wanting to disturb the peace around them as they watch the sky change colors above Denver.

“I’ve been better.” Connor confesses, and he feels Markus tense. “But I’ve also been a lot worse. It’s getting better.” 

Markus doesn’t relax again, and Connor lifts his head off his shoulder, concerned. He puts his hand on Markus’ cheek and gently turns his head, making the other man look him in the eye. “What’s wrong?”

Markus sigs, dropping his gaze. “Nothing.” His voice is soft, and Connor has some trouble making out the words. “It’s nothing. Everything’s alright now.”

Connor frowns again, that wasn’t convincing at all. “You know you can tell me what’s wrong, right?” He asks, making Markus look at him again. “You’re making me worried.”

Markus sigs again, his breath shaking as he pulls his head out of Connor’s grasp to stare at the lake again. “It’s just…” He starts, eyes somber. “I almost lost you.”

His voice cracks, and along with it Connor’s heart. Connor reaches out, ready to show him that he’s okay, that Markus will not lose him, but the older man stops him.

“I know.” Markus says. “I know you’re alright, and I know it’s going to be fine, but…” He trails off, and Connor waits for him to continue, enjoying the feeling of Markus’ arm around his shoulders. 

“I was so scared, Connor.” Markus confesses. “You were dying and I did not know what to do. You were hurting, and I wanted to make it stop but I couldn’t and I just-” 

Markus voice breaks, and Connor sees the tears gathering in his eyes. He wastes no time and wraps his arm around Markus’ waist, curling into his side, wordlessly telling him that he’s here, he is okay. Connor suddenly realizes what it must have been like for Markus. Seeing him get worse, being unable to do anything about it. What would Connor have done, had he been in Markus’ position? 

The heterochromatic man shudders, and continues. “When we got here, you weren’t responsive. I was terrified, I did everything I could and suddenly there was nothing to do but wait, and then your-” Markus stops, a lone tear falling from his eye, making its way down his cheek. “your heart stopped.” Markus whispers, and Connor’s head jerks up, looking at Markus. 

“We brought you back, obviously.” Markus quickly says, sniffing. “But I thought I had lost you. I thought you died, right there, and I had failed you. I am so sorry.” 

Connor shakes his head, pulling Markus closer towards him, he doesn’t have enough strength to force him, but Markus lets himself fall against Connor. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Connor tells him. “Absolutely nothing. You saved my life, you dragged me through half the country while I was begging you to stop. You literally did the impossible. I’m okay, Markus. We both are. You made sure of that.”

Markus shudders and draws in shaking breaths while tears continue to fall from his eyes. It hurts Connor, but he’s glad Markus lets it out, lets himself feel it. Now they can both move on. 

“You’re okay…” Markus mumbles, pushing his free hand through Connor’s hair. 

Connor smiles. “I’m okay.”

He leans forward, closing the last few inches between them and pressing his mouth to Markus’. God, he missed this. Connor doesn’t remember everything of what happened the past few days, but it feels like an eternity since he last kissed Markus.

He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, drawing him closer and opening his mouth for more. He can feel Markus tears on his cheek, but ignores them. They’ll dry, they’re both going to be fine.

Eventually they pull away, both slightly out of breath. “After we get out of here, we’re gonna build a life together, somewhere out there” Markus promises. “I’m never gonna lose you again.”

Connor smiles, happiness filling his chest as he lets the possibilities of the future enter his thoughts. He presses his nose into Markus’ neck, breathing in his scent. “Good,” He whispers, and he feels Markus shiver as his breath tickles his skin. “‘cause we still have eleven condoms left.”

Markus snorts, clearly not expecting that, and Connor grins. The heterochromatic man stares at him for a moment, amusement clear in his eyes, and Connor expect a comment about ruining the moment. It never comes. Instead, Markus laughs, and pulls Connor in for another kiss.

“I love you.” He says as they pull apart. “You’re an idiot, and I love you. So much.”

Connor laughs softly. He’s still sick, his body is tired, and he has no idea what the future will bring. But, as he sits here, curled into Markus’ side with the sun setting behind the skyline of Denver, he couldn’t be happier. Their path will not be easy, it’s going to be dangerous and they don’t know what will happen, but Connor doesn’t really care. He doesn’t care because there’s one thing he knows for sure, and that’s enough.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, the last chapter. But don't worry, there is going to be an **epilogue**. I feel like everyone deserves to actually _see_ the happy ending now that they've got it. So that's for next week.
> 
> As for now, I really want to thank everyone who has read this, who has left kudo's and especially those who took time to comment, you have no idea how happy you're making me :) And thanks to my trusty beta reader, you know who you are, I love you. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed this story, and I will see you next week, one last time. <3<3
> 
> ALSO PLEASE REVIEW OKAY BYE


	8. Skipping stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep walking roads, looking for a home  
That I can call my own  
Skipping stones  
I'm skipping stones
> 
> -[Skipping stones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEAiRutzej4), Dan Reynolds & Hans Zimmer

**2 years later**

Markus’ shirt is soaked.

Which wouldn’t have been a problem a few days ago, but as summer is drawing to an end and the air is getting colder, it unfortunately is. Being on the water with a wet shirt? Not fun.

Markus shivers and wraps his arms around himself. Simon, who has been working with him all day, thankfully notices.

“We should probably call it a day.” The blonde says. “We won’t get it finished before sunset anyway.”

Markus agrees. They have been working on the damage on their ship, _Jericho, _ since this morning. The holes have been there since the beginning and never caused trouble, but as the water level continues to rise Markus is getting worried that that might end.

He stretches his limbs and looks up to the massive freighter that is Jericho. He remembers the first time he laid eyes on the ship; Connor and he found it by accident, they were driving around in the calmer areas of Denver, looking for supplies and a place that would have pumpkin seeds, when Connor spotted the freighter.

The ship is far from perfect, the entire bottom section is flooded, it is rusty and old, but as they stood in front of the massive construction Markus had thought_ this, this might be it. _

Sighing, Markus sits back into the small wooden boat and nods. “Dinner will be ready soon.” He looks up at the ship. They can’t see the deck from here. “Do you think they’re back yet?”

Simon shrugs. “Probably. Let’s find out.”

Markus sits back, but doesn’t look away from the deck, trying to see the familiar faces of those who have left this morning. Simon waves his hand in front of his face and continues rowing.

“Relax, Markus. They know better than to be late.”

Markus shakes his head, and leans back. “I know. Doesn’t stop me from worrying.”

Simon nods. Markus knows he understands. Everyone understands. No matter how safe their sanctuary might be, how many weapons and skills they have, that fear of loss that they all know will never completely fade. But Markus trusts his people, and he learned not to worry too much when Connor was out searching for supplies. His boyfriend can handle himself.

It takes them a few minutes to row to the other side of the ship and climb up the construction that allows them to get on deck. Simon spots Josh and excuses himself, rushing off to talk to his friend. Markus smiles as he watches them walk past their gardens, back to their room below deck. It still feels surreal sometimes, that this is their ship, their _home. _ Markus takes a moment to look over the deck, over the plants that are successfully growing ever since Rose and her son Adam joined their group, over the water reservoirs, the clothes that are drying on the back and the dartboard Simon once found. They all took on this rusty old ship and made it into their home.

When the first people had joined them Markus was terrified. He all too vividly remembers the first group he had joined, and unceremoniously was made leader off. He remembers each and every death, how he had failed to protect them. But when more people found Jericho and joined their group Markus didn’t have a choice but to take care of them. 

Something was different, this time. Connor has been by his side every step of the way. Markus wasn’t alone anymore, and that knowledge was enough to keep them going.

And now, two years later, they were still alive, taking names and kicking ass, and their group has never been bigger, with a total of 16 people.

A high pitched giggle comes from behind Markus, and as he turns around a small figure nearly collapses into him.

“Sorry! Oh hi, Markus.” Alice squeals. “Don’t tell Emma you saw me! We’re playing hide ‘n seek.”

Markus grins, and presses his hand to his heart. “I promise. Does Kara know where you are?”

Alice nods. “She told me to go play outside. She is helping Ralph cook dinner.” Another high voice comes from inside, and Alice turns to run away again. “Don’t tell her where I am!” She giggles again, and runs off, and only a moment later another girl runs past Markus, clutching a stuffed animal to her chest.

Markus smiles, remembering how both girls were when they first got here. The look in their eyes was devastating, way too old for their age, both having seen way too much. He is glad they have a chance to be children again, to play and be careless, as they should be.

As Emma runs around the corner Alice disappeared behind Markus spots her stuffed animal again. Smiling, he remembers when Connor brought it back for her. It was the first time Markus had seen Emma smile.

When the voices of the girls move away again Markus turns to walk inside. Connor had left this morning with a small group to go into Denver. It used to be a dangerous and straight up stupid thing to do, going into the city, but on one of the first searches Connor had insisted on raiding an electronics store. His idea was to use alarms clocks as a distraction for the walkers, as some sort of sound grenade, giving them time to do whatever they needed while the alarm was ringing. It worked better than expected, and although the raids are still dangerous, moving through the city has become just as easy as moving through a village.

They should be back by now, and Connor is probably in their room, sleeping. Grimacing, Markus remembers how tired Connor was in the weeks after he got bit. It had gotten much better as time passed by, and the brunet can easily do his searches, but Markus knows he’s always exhausted afterwards. Which is why the heterochromatic man always finds him in their bed if they miss each other when Connor returns.

Markus walks into a hallway, down the stairs to the floor where most of the rooms are located. It took a long time to clean the insides of the ship, but they managed, bit by bit. It got easier when more people came along. 

Daylight isn’t able to reach this part of the ship, so the hall is lit by Christmas lights strung on the ceiling. Markus is trying to get all of their electricity from the radiator Jerry had built, but right now most of the lights are powered by batteries.

The next hallway is lit even more, and Markus eyes the painting he has hung there. 

They’re all portraits.

When they had found a paint shop Markus couldn’t resist, and he and Connor had spent an entire afternoon getting all the necessary supplies back to the ship. It had felt weird, painting again, after all this time, but it also felt so good, so familiar, that Markus probably made a dozen paintings that first month.

At first it was just landscapes and locations, the sunrise from the ship, Connor sleeping in the early hours of the morning, their plants growing on the deck. Then Markus returned to painting from nothing but his imagination and emotions, creating vivid colors and stunning pictures. Once he painted Connor’s body, which went well for the first hour, until Connor decided it wasn’t fair only he was shirtless, and_ that_ resulted in their bedsheet being covered in paint, and the painting itself getting ruined. Markus didn’t regret a thing.

It was only after months that Markus decided to try and paint portraits. He had sat into their room for hours after having a dream about before, about Carl. It was difficult, painting from just his memory, and it took him many sketches to get it right, but in the end he succeeded, and it had felt good, like he still managed to keep a piece of Carl with him, even after everything was gone.

He painted North next, then Leo. 

It was only when he saw Connor watching the paintings one day that he got the idea.

* * *

_ “Hey.” Markus warps his arms around Connor’s waist, pressing his lips into his neck. “Come with me, I want to try something.”_

_Connor sighs, and pushes back into Markus’ arms. He had been absent and withdrawn the entire day, and Markus knows it’s because he dreamt about Hank’s death._

_“Okay.” Connor doesn’t protest, and simply lets Markus grab his hand and lead him back to their room. Markus makes him sit on the bed as he takes out his art supplies._

_“Markus…” Connor mumbles. “I don’t really feel like you painting me.”_

_Markus smiles and sits down next to Connor, sketchbook in his lap. “I’m not going to paint you.” He presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. “Describe Hank to me.”_

_Connor jerks back, body tense as he stares at Markus. “What?”_

_“You’ve seen Carl, and the others. It’s nice, having a picture of them, having a little piece of them with me. I want you to have that too.”_

_Connor frowns. “I don’t know…”_

_Markus pulls his face closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Trust me, okay?”_

_“I-” Connor bows his head. “I don’t know if I remember what he looked like.” The crack in his voice pulls on Markus heartstrings, and he quickly pulls Connor closer._

_“I thought that, too.” He says. “But it’ll come to you. Just start with the simple things. What color was his hair?”_

_They spend the next hours there, pressed together on the bed. As time passes Connor begins to talk more and more, telling stories of before, of Hank and Sumo and their house. Markus makes a million sketches before Connor picks one that ‘_looks just like him, how did you even…’, _ and Markus continues his work._

_It takes him a long time to finish the painting, and Markus gets so lost in his concentration he doesn’t notice Connor falling asleep behind him. He stares at his work for a while when he is finished, wondering if he did Hank justice._

_Only one way to find out._

_Markus gently shakes Connor awake, and the brunet blinks at him. He looks absolutely adorable._

_“Come take a look.” Markus says, voice low. _

_Connor yawns, and lets Markus pull him up. Suddenly, he spots the painting and his eyes go wide._

_“Markus…” He scoots closer, reaching out but not touching the still wet paint. Connor stares at it for a long time, and Markus just watches him, lets him have a moment._

_“I hope I did him justice.” Markus says, making Connor turn around. There are tears in his eyes, but he smiles. The next second Connor flings himself around Markus, and he is kissing him._

_“Thank you. I have no idea how you managed that. Thank you.”_

_Markus just smiles and kisses him back. The life is back in Connor’s voice, and Markus hopes he brought him some closure. _

_Connor pulls back to stare into Markus’ eyes, his expression a mix between lovestruck, grief and happiness. He grins. _

_“Can you do Sumo next?”  
_

* * *

Markus smiles at the memory. He had made more paintings afterwards, having people describe their lost loved ones to him while Markus was sketching. He didn’t do it often, creating paintings like that was a long and emotional process that always left him drained, but every now and then a new face got added to the wall, smiling at the living from their portrait. 

As he passes the paintings Markus finally reaches his and Connor’s room, and gently opens the door, or, as gently as you can open a heavy door of a freighter.

The first thing he spots is their bed, which is basically a mattress surrounded by a wooden frame they had built together. But on top of the bed lies what Markus had been looking for.

A mop of brown hair is barely visible above three layers of blankets. Markus smiles, remembering every time Connor brought blankets with him. The brunet absolutely loves to horde them and bury under the sheets, hiding from the world together. Sometimes Markus felt like he wasn’t even needed anymore, like when Connor had wrapped himself in the soft fabric like some oversized human burrito. He looked too cute for Markus to be annoyed.

Markus quietly moves around the room, and quickly changes his shirt into a dry hoodie before moving to the bed. He shoves the blankets back a bit, and places his hand on Connor’s naked shoulder.

“Con.” He says, giving him a slight nudge. “Wake up.”

Despite his love for sleep and blankets, Connor is in fact a light sleeper when he isn’t completely exhausted, and the brunet groans before pushing his face into the pillow.

“No…”

Markus grins, removing his hand again. “That is the greeting I get after you’ve been gone all day?”

He quickly pulls his face into a pout as Connor lifts his head and stares at him through half lidded eyes. “Hi. Missed you. Lemme sleep.” He drops his head back onto the pillow and closes his eyes again. Markus chuckles.

“Come on, love. Dinner is about to start, and you need food. Ralph is cooking.” 

Markus knows damn well dinner won’t be ready for another thirty minutes, but experience taught him he would need that time to get Connor out of bed.

“Ralph can’t cook.”

“Which is why Kara is helping him. Get. Up.” Markus pinches Connor’s side.

“Save me some.” Comes the mumbled reply. 

“Sorry, not gonna happen.” Markus pulls the blanket off fully, revealing Connor’s body, who is wearing nothing but his underwear. Suddenly the option to stay in bed gets a lot more tempting.

“_Markuuuuus_.” Connor whines, hands reaching out to pull the blankets back up, and Markus quickly shoves them off the bed. Finally the brunet blinks a few times, and sits up, rubbing his eyes. “I hate you.”

Markus leans forward to press his lips against Connor’s, and he feels him smile. “Sure you do. Now get dressed, we don’t want to miss dinner. _ Again. _” 

Markus has a million questions for him, _how did it go? Did you find something useful? Is everyone okay? Did nothing happen? _ But he knows there will be time to ask them later. First, Connor needs to properly wake up. 

Connor grunts, and drops back onto the bed. Markus is just about to hurl him back up again when the brunet rolls onto his stomach and grabs at something off the floor.

“I got you this.” Connor throws a small package at him, and Markus is too distracted trying to catch it that he can’t stop Connor from grabbing a blanket again.

Markus lowers the package, and stares at his boyfriend, who has closed his eyes again. “You’ll have to get up eventually.”

Connor huffs, and turns away. “You’re so mean. And to think I got you a present.”

The package is small, it feels like a cylinder wrapped in messy brow paper. Markus moves to open it, and as the paper falls away a small tube gets revealed, a tube of green paint to be precise.

Markus can feel a grin creeping on his face. “How did you find this?”

Connor shrugs and opens his eyes again, the beautiful brown looking nearly gold in the late afternoon sunlight that streams through their small window. “We found a shop. It was overrun, so I only got this. We’re going back another time, clear it out.”

“Connor,” Markus sighs, tracing his cheek with his thumb. “I really appreciate it. But you know I don’t want you to take unnecessary risks.”

Connor huffs, and pushes himself up on his elbows, the blanket slides off his chest. “It wasn’t unnecessary.” He pushes his head to the side to lean into Markus’ touch. “It makes you happy. And I knew what I was doing, it was safe, okay?”

Markus apparently looks unconvinced, and Connor continues. “Hey,” He places his own hand on Markus’ cheek, looking into his eyes. “You trust me, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then stop complaining.” Connor grins and pricks Markus’ chest with his finger. “I won’t do anything stupid. I have you to return to.”

Markus smiles, and finally moves forward to kiss Connor again. The brunet smiles against his lips and pulls Markus closer, intertwining his fingers behind Markus’ head. Before the kiss can get too heated, though, Markus pulls back.

“We have to go to dinner.”

“Ugh.” Connor groans and flops back onto the mattress before rolling to the side. “Fine. But you’re coming to bed with me afterwards.” He winks and turns around to push the blanket off his legs.

As Connor throws his legs off the bed Markus takes a moment to look at his back, at his naked shoulders and brown hair that is messy from sleep. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe that this is real, that they made it to this point and get to have this life. There are times in where Markus remembers how close he got to losing it all, but here they are, with a second chance and a life they could’ve only dreamed off, and Markus cannot possibly phantom how he deserved this. 

They fought the world and won, and now they get to live in it. They get to live and be happy.

And as the sunlight bounces of off Connor’s skin, basking him in gold, the happiness in Markus’ chest only grows. _He loves him so much. _

Overcome with emotion, and the sight of Connor slowly stretching his arms, Markus lunges forwards, wrapping his arms around Connor and pulling him back in bed as he yelps.

Dinner could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> so there it is, the final chapter! :)
> 
> I really hope everyone enjoyed this story, I know I did
> 
> Okay, and again I want to thank everyone who was so kind to give me feedback and kudo's, I just cannot express how happy that makes me :D
> 
> And all the love to my beta reader who leaves the best notes in the story, I LOVE YOU
> 
> so that was the end, what do I do with my life now... maybe I should write another one?
> 
> (OH and Imagine dragons songs man, check them out your life gets better)
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW OKAY BYE

**Author's Note:**

> Hello you who is reading this months after it's completed!
> 
> Comments are still seen by me even though the story ended and I love them so much :D
> 
> So if you have a minute, please leave me one :)
> 
> (Also check out the one shot that takes place after this fic, part 2 of the series!)


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